Dave Chappelle Quotes

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.

My life is dope and I do dope shit.

The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!" Which is true, Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't even forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is fucking confusing. It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle, the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me saying, "Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!" "Oh-hoh! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!" See what I mean? All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform.

I'm rich biotchh!

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself especially when everybody is watching

I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy.

Lady, I'm just a nigga that loves titties.

The bottom line is no matter what happens to you, you got to keep going; and bitterness is quite cumbersome. Jokes is a way of shaking that off, processing something with the alchemy of levity.

Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like "well I don't hate black people so I'm not a racist," but you benefit from racism. Just by the merit, the color of your skin. The opportunities that you have, you're privileged in ways that you might not even realize because you haven't been deprived of certain things. We need to talk about these things in order for them to change.

Sometimes you have to come out like a lion, so that you can be the lamb that you really are.

Hey,hey,hey. Smoke weed everyday

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.

Money is the fuel for choices.

To what extent do I have to participate in your self image?

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Image can be so powerful that it can create its own reality. That’s exactly what show business does better than anything else.

fear makes us act ridiculous, but also human.

Dave Chappelle performed a hysterical skit of a blind White supremacist, who thinks he is White, and who spits out anti-Black ideas like tobacco. In the end he tragically—or, for the viewer, comically—learns he is a Black man. Of all the notable antiracist sketches he did, that first sketch of the racist Black man may have been Chappelle’s most clever and memorable.

Everybody gets mad because I say these jokes, but you gotta understand that this is the best time to say them. More now than ever, (...) you have a responsibility to speak recklessly. Otherwise, my kids may never know what reckless talk sounds like. The joys of being wrong. I didn't come here to be right. I come here to fuck around.

If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.

I don't get mad at a photograph because it wasn't taken today

I don’t want to live in a country with a brittle spirit, I want to live amongst soldiers.”—Dave Chappelle

Twitter is a bathroom wall. Why would I write my thoughts on a bathroom wall?

If you look at life, anything in life through the framework of money, you will miss most of the picture.

Tellingly, Chappelle kept making sketches about leaving his show.

The problem with the Bobby Fischer theory is that Chappelle is not the kind of artist to meticulously plan ahead, let alone plot career exits decades in advance.

This operates in popular culture in a bluntly commercial way, since black entertainers are also measured by a box office that is indifferent to the soul.

So sometimes I'll make up sh*t that's not even slang, just to see how they handle it and sh*t. It'll be the same thing, they just go: "All right, we're gonna close the deal. Is that fine with you, Dave?" "Yeah, it sounds good to me." "Great. You have a good weekend, Dave." "All right, buddy. Zip it up, and zip it out." He'll be like... "Uh... All right. Zippity-doo-dah, bye-BYE.