Customer Complaints Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Customer Complaints. Here they are! All 100 of them:

I stick my finger in existence — it smells of nothing. Where am I? Who am I? How came I here? What is this thing called the world? What does this world mean? Who is it that has lured me into the world? Why was I not consulted, why not made acquainted with its manners and customs instead of throwing me into the ranks, as if I had been bought by a kidnapper, a dealer in souls? How did I obtain an interest in this big enterprise they call reality? Why should I have an interest in it? Is it not a voluntary concern? And if I am to be compelled to take part in it, where is the director? I should like to make a remark to him. Is there no director? Whither shall I turn with my complaint?
Søren Kierkegaard
Exceptional customer service proactively manages your brand and reactively can turn upset customers into raving fans based on how you handled their complaint.
Amber Hurdle (The Bombshell Business Woman: How to Become a Bold, Brave Female Entrepreneur)
A complaint is a unique opportunity to strengthen the relationship with the client.
Kevin Kelly (DO! The Pursuit of Xceptional Execution)
The lingerie department is the only one that she can reach in her wheelchair. Nevertheless, she is fired the next day because of complaints that a woman who is so obviously not sexually attractive selling alluring nightgowns makes customers uncomfortable. Daunted by her dismissal, she seeks consolation in the arms of the young manager and soon finds herself pregnant. Upon learning of this news, he leaves her for a nondisabled woman with a fuller bustline and better homemaking skills in his inaccessible kitchen.
Rosemarie Garland-Thomson
Whether you're delivering a sales presentation to a new client, going on a trip, speaking in front of a thousand people, or handling a customer complaint, when you are prepared, you are more empowered to do your best and perform at a higher level. It feels great!
Susan C. Young (The Art of Preparation: 8 Ways to Plan with Purpose & Intention for Positive Impact (The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #2))
I think that it’s extraordinarily important that we in computer science keep fun in computing. When it started out it was an awful lot of fun. Of course the paying customers got shafted every now and then and after a while we began to take their complaints seriously. We began to feel as if we really were responsible for the successful error-free perfect use of these machines. I don’t think we are. I think we’re responsible for stretching them setting them off in new directions and keeping fun in the house. I hope the field of computer science never loses its sense of fun. Above all I hope we don’t become missionaries. Don’t feel as if you’re Bible sales-men. The world has too many of those already. What you know about computing other people will learn. Don’t feel as if the key to successful computing is only in your hands. What’s in your hands I think and hope is intelligence: the ability to see the machine as more than when you were first led up to it that you can make it more.
Alan J. Perlis
Hmm, let me think carefully about that question. Q: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
In today’s world, meaningful differences between businesses are rarely rooted in price or product, but instead in customer experience.
Jay Baer (Hug Your Haters: How to Embrace Complaints and Keep Your Customers)
What do they all say? That will never work. By now, I hope you know what my answer to that line is. Nobody Knows Anything. I only get to write this book once. And I’d feel like I missed an opportunity if I ended this story without giving you some advice. The most powerful step that anyone can take to turn their dreams into reality is a simple one: you just need to start. The only real way to find out if your idea is a good one is to do it. You’ll learn more in one hour of doing something than in a lifetime of thinking about it. So take that step. Build something, make something, test something, sell something. Learn for yourself if your idea is a good one. What happens if your idea doesn’t work? What happens if your test fails, if nobody orders your product or joins your club? What if sales don’t go up and customer complaints don’t go down? What if you get halfway through writing your novel and get writer’s block? What if after dozens of tries – even hundreds of attempts – you still haven’t seen your dream become anything close to real? You have to learn to love the problem, not the solution. That’s how you stay engaged when things take longer than you expected.
Marc Randolph (That Will Never Work: The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea)
Cecilia didn’t care what the fine print said about free will and God’s mysterious ways and blahdy-blah. If God had a supervisor, she would have sent off one of her famous letters of complaint a long time ago. “You have lost me as a customer.
Liane Moriarty (The Husband's Secret)
Hugging your haters is not a cost. It’s a profit center
Jay Baer (Hug Your Haters: How to Embrace Complaints and Keep Your Customers)
Only children, fools, and cowards would allow a company to treat them as if prices were set by customers.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I think that it's extraordinarily important that we in computer science keep fun in computing. When it started out, it was an awful lot of fun. Of course, the paying customers got shafted every now and then, and after a while we began to take their complaints seriously. We began to feel as if we really were responsible for the successful, error-free perfect use of these machines. I don't think we are. I think we're responsible for stretching them, setting them off in new directions, and keeping fun in the house. I hope the field of computer science never loses its sense of fun. Above all, I hope we don't become missionaries. Don't feel as if you're Bible salesmen. The world has too many of those already. What you know about computing other people will learn. Don't feel as if the key to successful computing is only in your hands. What's in your hands, I think and hope, is intelligence: the ability to see the machine as more than when you were first led up to it, that you can make it more.
Alan J. Perlis (Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs)
The customer service agents who accepted the defaults of Internet Explorer and Safari approached their job the same way. They stayed on script in sales calls and followed standard operating procedures for handling customer complaints. They saw their job descriptions as fixed, so when they were unhappy with their work, they started missing days, and eventually just quit. The employees who took the initiative to change their browsers to Firefox or Chrome approached their jobs differently. They looked for novel ways of selling to customers and addressing their concerns. When
Adam M. Grant (Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World)
This workbook is for you to imagine unpleasant situations, and write out a plan for responding,” the manager said. “One of the systems we use is called the LATTE method. We Listen to the customer, Acknowledge their complaint, Take action by solving the problem, Thank them, and then Explain why the problem occurred.
Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business)
I know you,” he added, helping to arrange the blanket over my shoulders. “You won’t drop the subject until I agree to check on your cousin, so I’ll do it. But only under one condition.” “John,” I said, whirling around to clutch his arm again. “Don’t get too excited,” he warned. “You haven’t heard the condition.” “Oh,” I said, eagerly. “Whatever it is, I’ll do it. Thank you. Alex has never had a very good life-his mother ran away when he was a baby, and his dad spent most of his life in jail…But, John, what is all this?” I swept my free hand out to indicate the people remaining on the dock, waiting for the boat John had said was arriving soon. I’d noticed some of them had blankets like the one he’d wrapped around me. “A new customer service initiative?” John looked surprised at my change of topic…then uncomfortable. He stooped to reach for the driftwood Typhon had dashed up to drop at his feet. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said, stiffly. “You’re giving blankets away to keep them warm while they wait. When did this start happening?” “You mentioned some things when you were here the last time….” He avoided meeting my gaze by tossing the stick for his dog. “They stayed with me.” My eyes widened. “Things I said?” “About how I should treat the people who end up here.” He paused at the approach of a wave-though it was yards off-and made quite a production of moving me, and my delicate slippers, out of its path. “So I decided to make a few changes.” It felt as if one of the kind of flowers I liked-a wild daisy, perhaps-had suddenly blossomed inside my heart. “Oh, John,” I said, and rose onto my toes to kiss his cheek. He looked more than a little surprised by the kiss. I thought I might actually have seen some color come into his cheeks. “What was that for?” he asked. “Henry said nothing was the same after I left. I assumed he meant everything was much worse. I couldn’t imagine it was the opposite, that things were better.” John’s discomfort at having been caught doing something kind-instead of reckless or violet-was sweet. “Henry talks too much,” he muttered. “But I’m glad you like it. Not that it hasn’t been a lot of added work. I’ll admit it’s cut down on the complaints, though, and even the fighting amongst our rowdier passengers. So you were right. Your suggestions helped.” I beamed up at him. Keeper of the dead. That’s how Mr. Smith, the cemetery sexton, had referred to John once, and that’s what he was. Although the title “protector of the dead” seemed more applicable. It was totally silly how much hope I was filled with by the fact that he’d remembered something I’d said so long ago-like maybe this whole consort thing might work out after all. I gasped a moment later when there was a sudden rush of white feathers, and the bird he’d given me emerged from the grizzly gray fog seeming to engulf the whole beach, plopping down onto the sand beside us with a disgruntled little humph. “Oh, Hope,” I said, dashing tears of laughter from my eyes. Apparently I had only to feel the emotion, and she showed up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you behind. It was his fault, you know.” I pointed at John. The bird ignored us both, poking around in the flotsam washed ashore by the waves, looking, as always, for something to eat. “Her name is Hope?” John asked, the corners of his mouth beginning to tug upwards. “No.” I bristled, thinking he was making fun of me. Then I realized I’d been caught. “Well, all right…so what if it is? I’m not going to name her after some depressing aspect of the Underworld like you do all your pets. I looked up the name Alastor. That was the name of one of the death horses that drew Hades’s chariot. And Typhon?” I glanced at the dog, cavorting in and out of the waves, seemingly oblivious of the cold. “I can only imagine, but I’m sure it means something equally unpleasant.
Meg Cabot (Underworld (Abandon, #2))
She was willing a little bit of sweated labour, incapable of betraying the slogan of her slavers, that since the customer or sucker was paying for his gutrot ten times what it cost to produce and five times what it cost to fling in his face, it was only reasonable to defer to his complaints up to but not exceeding fifty per cent of his exploitation.
Samuel Beckett (Murphy)
In September 2020, Dawn Wooten, a nurse at Irwin County Detention Center, a private Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) facility in Georgia, alleged in a whistleblower complaint that an obstetrician-gynaecologist was performing ‘unwarranted’ and often non-consensual mass hysterectomies on detained women. According to Wooten, ‘everybody he sees has a hysterectomy – just about everybody
Elinor Cleghorn (Unwell Women: A Journey Through Medicine and Myth in a Man-Made World)
BIG BUTS: 5 OBSTACLES TO PROVIDING GREAT SERVICE Key Points: There are five reasons businesses and organizations do not answer every complaint, in every channel, every time. Each of these obstacles must be overcome to hug your haters effectively: There are too many channels. There is too much feedback. You take complaints personally. You fear getting scammed. You don’t have a customer service culture.
Jay Baer (Hug Your Haters: How to Embrace Complaints and Keep Your Customers)
Complaints: McKinsey and Company found: • customers who have major problems but don’t complain about them have a purchase intention rate of about 9% • those who do complain, regardless of the outcome, have a repurchase rate of about 19% • customers who have their complain resolved have a repurchase intention rate of 54% • customers who have complaints quickly resolved have a repurchase intention rate of 82%
Anonymous
Charles Napier, the British army’s commander in chief in India, faced with local complaints about the abolition of suttee, replied, “You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours.”14
Steven Pinker (The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined)
A few years ago, the British chocolate manufacturer Cadbury’s received a large number of customer complaints, claiming that they had changed the taste of their Dairy Milk brand. They were at first baffled, because the formulation hadn’t been altered for years. However, what they had done was change the shapes of the blocks you would break off a bar, rounding their corners. And smoother shapes taste sweeter. Truly. Nothing about perception is completely objective, even though we act as though it is. When we complain that a room is hot, there may be no point at which we agree about what ‘hot’ means; it may merely mean ‘a few degrees warmer than the room I was in previously, to which I have become acclimatised’. ‘Time flies when you are having fun’ is an early piece of psychophysical insight. To your watch, an hour always means exactly the same thing, regardless of whether you are drinking champagne or being waterboarded. However, to the human brain, the perception of time is more elastic.*
Rory Sutherland (Alchemy: The Dark Art and Curious Science of Creating Magic in Brands, Business, and Life)
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Arthur Conan Doyle
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Norton Juster (The Hello, Goodbye Window)
I think it’s extraordinarily important that we in computer science keep fun in computing. When it started out, it was an awful lot of fun. Of course, the paying customers got shafted every now and then, and after a while we began to take their complaints seriously. We began to feel as though we really were responsible for the successful, error-free, perfect use of these machines. I don’t think we are. I think we’re responsible for stretching them, setting them off in new directions, and keeping fun in the house. Fun comes in many ways. Fun comes in making a discovery, proving a theorem, writing a program, breaking a code. Whatever form or sense it comes in I hope the field of computer science never loses its sense of fun. Above all, I hope we don’t become missionaries. What you know about computing other people will learn. Don’t feel as though the key to successful computing is only in your hands. What’s in your hands, I think and hope, is intelligence: the ability to see the machine as more than when you were first led up to it, that you can make it more.
Alan J. Perlis (Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs)
Oh, were we talking about dinner? Well, let me say this: I don’t take it lightly if when I write the word beef someone chooses to read lamb. People talking about a book as if it were just another thing, like a dish, or a product like an electronic device or a pair of shoes, to be rated for consumer satisfaction—that was just the goddamn trouble, you said. Even those aspiring writers your students seemed never to judge a book on how well it fulfilled the author’s intentions but solely on whether it was the kind of book that they liked. And so you got papers stating things like “I hate Joyce, he’s so full of himself,” or “I don’t see why I should have to read about white people problems.” You got customer reviews full of umbrage, suggesting that if a book didn’t affirm what the reader already felt—what they could identify with, what they could relate to—the author had no business writing the book at all. Those hilarious stories that people loved, and loved to share—the book clubber who said, When I read a novel I want someone to die in it; the complaint against Anne Frank’s diary, in which nothing much happens and then the story just breaks off—did not make you laugh.
Sigrid Nunez (The Friend)
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Harper Lee
Sinclair James - English Communication Language in Asia Is English Language a Hindrance to Communication for Foreigners in Asia? One of the hesitations of westerners in coming to Asia is the language barrier. True, Asia has been a melting pot of different aspects of life that in every country, there is a distinct characteristic and a culture which would seem odd to someone who grew up in an entirely different perspective. Language is one of the most flourishing uniqueness of Asian nations. Although their boundaries are emphasized by mere walls which can be broken down easily, the brand of each individual can still be determined on the language they use or most comfortable with. Communication may be a problem as it is an issue which neighboring countries also encounter on each other. Message relays or even simple gestures, if interpreted wrongly can cause conflicts. Indeed, the complaints are valid. However, on the present day number of American and European visitors and the boost in tourism economies, language barriers seem to have been surpassed. Perhaps, the problem may not even exist at all. According to English Language Proficiency Test (ELPT) and International English Language Testing System (IELTS), Asian countries are not altogether illiterate in speaking and understanding the universal language. If so, there are countries which can even speak English as fluent as any native can. Take for example the Philippines. Once in Manila, the country’s capital, you will find thousands of individuals representing different nationalities. The center for business growth in the country, Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) has proven the literacy of the people in conversing using the international language. Clients from abroad prefer Filipinos in dealing with customers concern since they can easily comprehend grasp and explain things in English. ELPT and IELTS did not even include the Philippines in the list of the top English speaking nations in Asia since they are already considered one of the best and most fluent in this field. Other neighboring Asian countries also send their citizens to the Philippines to learn English. With a mixture of British and American English being used in everyday conversations, the Philippines has to be considered to be included in the top 5 most native English speakers. You may even be surprised to meet a young child in Manila who has not gone to school or mingled with foreigners but can speak and understand English. Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia and most Asian countries, if indeed all, can also easily understand and speak English. It seems that the concern for miscommunication has completely no basis and remains a groundless issue. Maybe perhaps, those who say this just want to find a dumb excuse? Read more at: SjTravels.com
James Sinclair
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Herman Melville
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Fred Lee (If Disney Ran Your Hospital: 9 1/2 Things You Would Do Differently)
One of the systems we use is called the LATTE method. We Listen to the customer, Acknowledge their complaint, Take action by solving the problem, Thank them, and then Explain why the problem occurred.20
Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do and How to Change)
Ping-ponging from one outcome to another. Because many businesses have developed fire-fighting cultures—where every customer complaint is treated like a crisis—it’s common for product trios to ping-pong from one outcome to the next, quarter to quarter. However, you’ve already learned that it takes time to learn how to impact a new outcome. When we ping-pong from outcome to outcome, we never reap the benefits of this learning curve. Instead, set an outcome for your team, and focus on it for a few quarters. You’ll be amazed at how much impact you have in the second and third quarters after you’ve had some time to learn and explore.
Teresa Torres (Continuous Discovery Habits: Discover Products that Create Customer Value and Business Value)
Customer complaints are like open wounds. Don’t let them remain open for long. It might be a wound on the finger, but the body is still yours.
Sukant Ratnakar (Quantraz)
Customer complaint: maybe next time we can roll to assist the girl fighting the horde of zombies.
Ashley Shuttleworth (A Dark and Hollow Star (The Hollow Star Saga, #1))
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David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
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David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
19:00 hours. "What time does the 7 o'clock ferry leave?
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
Open seven days a week. Closed Sundays." -- On the bottom of a pizza take-out menu.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
Parking for drive-through customers only." -- A sign at a McDonald's in California.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
Think I will take the first option. "Ham and Cheese - $2.50. Cheese and Ham - $2.90." -- On a menu.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
No Ice! Me: "Do you have hot tea?" Her: "Well, it is not very warm...but...." Me: "No I mean do you have hot water and a tea bag?" Her: "Yes." Me: "So you can make me hot tea." Her: "Well I can put a cup of iced tea in the microwave for you." Me: "No, just give me a cup of hot water and a tea bag, and I will make my own." Her: "Do you want ice in the cup?
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
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David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
And next week – indoor fishing. "March 18: Outdoor Adventure Series: Indoor Rock Climbing" -- In a school's newsletter.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
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David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
Walking licence. "Please! No walking allowed without membership card." -- A sign in a mall.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
To someone of your intelligence, $50. "How much is that $10 watch?
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
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David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
can't comment on this as I would like to keep the book suitable for children!
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
Do you drink when you're on duty?
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
No key. "Do not open this door when locked." -- A sign on a gym door.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
That's why I have had so many speeding tickets. Q: "And you check your radar unit frequently?" A: "Yes, I do." Q: "And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?" A: "Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
Going to be tough. Q: “You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
Ask an obvious question and guess what you get. Q: “Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?” A : “No. He was wearing a mask.” Q: “What was he wearing under the mask?” A: “Er...his face.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
If at first you don't succeed. Q: "How many times have you committed suicide?" A: "Four times.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
groomed, and fed the family dog for years." A very common occurrence. "Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job." Not a great experience then? "Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco." And a poodle when it comes to modesty. "I am a pit bull when it comes to analysis."  Yeah and I am the Queen of England. "I am the king of accounts payable reconciliation." Travelling hobo. "Work history: Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle." Perhaps you need a mop for the floor? "I like slipping and sliding around behind the counter and controlling the temperature of the food." Sshhh, people maybe listening. .."Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately." It just has. "My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend." Don't we all. "I love dancing and throwing parties." Wow, that quick. "I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
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David Loman (Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Book 3))
Through the trap door. “Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements))
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David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements))
Dogfight at thirty five thousand feet. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady, walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot, “what is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements))
Well when you put it like that. Part of a Flight Attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements))
Yep, that's the sound a cow makes. The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements))
Well you have to make sure. "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (and other statements))
The secret is out.. "The driver involved in this incident asked that her gender not be revealed." -- From a Sydney, Australia, paper.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
Dog eared. Q: "Did he pick the dog up by the ears?" A: "No." Q: "What was he doing with the dog's ears?" Q: "Picking them up in the air." A: "Where was the dog at this time?" Q: "Attached to the ears.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
can't comment on this as I would like to keep the book suitable for children! Q: "So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?" A: "I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital." Q: "It was covered?" A: "Yes, bandaged." Q: "Then, later on...what did you see?" A: "I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
David Loman (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Volume 2!)
A little raver. Q: “Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?” A: “Yes.” Q: “Did the defendant say anything when she got out of the car?” A: “Yes.” Q: “What did she say?” A: “What disco am I at?
David Loman (Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Book 3))
Bad move. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
David Loman (Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Book 3))
Well you said it. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.
David Loman (Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Book 3))
Possibly. "Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
David Loman (Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Book 3))
That'll do it. "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
David Loman (Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Book 3))
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NaxeBek O
Alexa execs, like leaders elsewhere in Amazon, became frequent recipients of the CEO’s escalation emails, in which he forwarded a customer complaint accompanied by a single question mark and then expected a response within twenty-four hours.
Brad Stone (Amazon Unbound)
The president of the United States is like a manager at a fast food restaurant. He seems to be the one in charge and the one who takes the brunt of customer complaints, but he is merely working for someone who the customers will never see, or never hear about. The fast food manager is working for the franchise owner, just as the president of the United States is simply a spokesman who is carrying out the orders and agenda of his boss which remains unseen by the public. This boss, is of course, the Illuminati.
Mark Dice (The Illuminati: Facts & Fiction)
1. MISSION. Develop a short statement of one to five sentences that describes why a role exists. For example, “The mission for the customer service representative is to help customers resolve their questions and complaints with the highest level of courtesy possible.” 2. OUTCOMES. Develop three to eight specific, objective outcomes that a person must accomplish to achieve an A performance. For example, “Improve customer satisfaction on a ten-point scale from 7.1 to 9.0 by December 31.” 3. COMPETENCIES. Identify as many role-based competencies as you think appropriate to describe the behaviors someone must demonstrate to achieve the outcomes. Next, identify five to eight competencies that describe your culture and place those on every scorecard. For example, “Competencies include efficiency, honesty, high standards, and a customer service mentality.
Geoff Smart (Who: The A Method for Hiring)
While Nicky was taking the mail bags to the post office, a customer found an 1876 edition of Daniel Deronda priced at £6.50 and brought it to the counter asking ‘How much could this be?’ I was sorely tempted to tell her that it ‘could be £7.50.’ She didn’t even bother waiting for a reply, and went completely off-piste, saying ‘I found Venice terribly disappointing. It was full of tourists,’ the perpetual complaint of the pretentious tourist.
Shaun Bythell (The Diary of a Bookseller)
20 percent and that's my final offer." Dog folded his arms across his chest in a move that I assumed was meant to intimidate. He had sizable muscle, but the effect was watered down by his My Little Pony tattoos. I could swear I saw Fluttershy wink. "Don't give me that 20 percent bullshit," I said. "I work in retail. I know the margins and I know you didn't buy these goods so everything is profit for you." "You didn't tell me she was a hard-ass." Dog glared at Jack. "I like to keep the good stuff to myself." "Give me the Boxing Day special," I said. "Six A.M. door crasher." His eyes widened. "40 percent?" I shook my head. "First five people in the door." "Sixty?" "Take it or leave it." I pulled out a wad of cash. We'd all chipped in to cover the costs in hopeful anticipation of a bigger return at the end. Dog took the money, but not before registering a complaint with customer service. "You said she was a newb," he said to Jack. "She's a smart and savvy newb." Jack grinned. "Gotta say, it's pretty damn hot.
Sara Desai (To Have and to Heist (Simi Chopra, #1))
Way to go Doc. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
David Loman (Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints (And Other Statements) Book 3))
LATTE method. We Listen to the customer, Acknowledge their complaint, Take action by solving the problem, Thank them, and then Explain why the problem occurred.
Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business)
Cake Shop Accused Of Religious Discrimination For Refusing To Write Anti-Gay Slur On Bible Cake American Voices • Opinion • ISSUE 51•03 • Jan 22, 2015 A bakery in Arizona is facing a religious discrimination complaint after refusing to comply with a customer’s order to decorate a cake shaped like a Bible with the words “God hates gays” and an image of two men holding hands with an “X” over it. What do you think? “A homemade anti-gay cake is more meaningful anyway.
Anonymous
J. Edgerton/ The Spirit of Christmas Page 11 Mr. Angel smiled warmly at the vision of the two boys playing in the snow. “All God’s creatures . . . one and all . . . large and small! But some more important than others, in their magnificence. And I’ve found you both . . . at last”. Jonas took off racing through the snow, the cup in his hand. “Come on James!” James scrambled after him, the snow crunching pleasantly beneath his tiny feet. “Jonas wait for me!” The taller Nicholas stopped before a Cinder Vendor. “Two warm Ciders please, with extra spices.” The Cider Vendor raised an eyebrow as he took in the smudged face of the boy and his shabby clothes. “Very well, young Sir. Have you money? I’m not a charity you know!” Jonas quickly fished out coins and showed him the silver. “Oh yes Sir. I know of charities Sir and you’re better off not being one. They’re a cheat!” The Cider Vendor began filling two cups with steaming apple cider. The sweet smell of it made the boy’s mouth water. The burly Cider Vendor handed him the first cup of sweet, steaming, mouth puckering cider. “Many are, young master!” He replied. “I grew up in the system meself and it was a poor boy’s torment. That’ll be 2 cents!” The littlest Nicholas raced up and slid to a halt in the snow beside him. Jonas handed James the cup of cider. Then he paid the vendor with coins from the tin cup. “That’s highway robbery . . . but very well!” The Cider Vendor squinted through one eye, his thick eyebrow nearly obscuring it. “It’s very good cider, with extra spices.” James face lit up with joy as he took a sip. “M-mmm! It is good cider! J. Edgerton/ The Spirit of Christmas Page 12 The Vendor handed Jonas the second cup of steaming cider. “I’ve not had any complaints. I work hard to make my cider. It’s worth the money.” His lips smacking, Jonas sipped in the warm cider. “I’m sure it is Sir.” The angelic faced little one smiled up at him. “It’s yummy!” The Cider Vendor smiled down at him and tipped his hat to him “Yes it tis! Yummy!” Then he chuckled cheerfully with another satisfied customer, no matter how small. “Ummm, good!” Jonas agreed with them. The Cider Vendor took a sip of his own brew himself, his mouth puckering. “It’ll put the spirit of life back in you on a cold day like this, that Cider.” Two men in tall top hats and fine suits halted in front of the Cider Vendor. “Sir, we are collecting for the poor and wondered if a fine fellow such as yourself might have something to contribute.” Jonas glanced up at them in a wizened way. “We’ve a couple coins to contribute but it better get to the poor, understand?” “Of course, my fine fellow! “The taller of the two sharply dressed gentlemen spoke. Smiling a satisfied smile, Jonas dropped two silver coins into the gentleman’s hands. The tall gentleman took them and tipped his hat, smiling down at them both. “Very generous!” He glanced stone faced at the vendor, who immediately forked over several dollars. “A very Merry Christmas to you both!” They trod off through the snow in their finery, to the welcome crunch of the snow drifts beneath their feet. Mr. Angel paused at the Cheese vendor next to them, where a raggedy young girl was staring wide eyed at the rows and rows of cheeses above her.
John Edgerton (The Spirit of Christmas)
records in any form I request under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act within thirty days and for a reasonable handling and processing fee. If this material is not quickly forthcoming, I will file a complaint with the federal Health and Human Services’ Office for Civil Rights, which prosecutes HIPPA violations. Sincerely, 3. TO CHALLENGE OUTRAGEOUS CHARGES/BILLING ERRORS Dear Sirs or Madam: I’m writing to protest what I regard as excessive charges for my operation/hospitalization/procedure at your medical facility. The operation/hospitalization/procedure was billed to my insurer/me at $__________,__________. This total included several itemized charges that were well above norms for our nation and our region, such as a $__________,__________ charge for __________ and a $__________,__________ charge for __________. The Healthcare Bluebook says a “fair price” is $__________,__________ and $__________,__________. Likewise, my bill includes entries for treatments I simply did not receive, such as $__________ for __________ and $__________ for __________. Before sending in any payment, I’m requesting that your billing and coding department review my chart to revise the charges, or explain to me the size and the nature of such entries. I have been a loyal customer of your hospital for many years and have been happy with my excellent medical care. But if these billing issues are not resolved, I feel compelled to report them to the state attorney general/consumer protection agency, to investigate fraudulent or abusive billing practices. Sincerely,
Elisabeth Rosenthal (An American Sickness: How Healthcare Became Big Business and How You Can Take It Back)
The behavior of businesses that I have already talked about — as well as well-publicized customer service fiascos (like Costco’s transition to only accept Visa credit cards, which led to more than 1.5 million customer service calls and scathing online complaints19) — shows that customers feel let down again and again by the companies they depend on, whether by overreaching marketing claims, pushy sales tactics, terrible customer support, or poor quality. Combine that with the ever-growing range of customer choices in many product and service categories and their power via online reviews and we may be at a “change or die” inflection point in many industries. Lovable products, services, and companies are disrupting entire industries. They are changing the world. Back to People Here is another secret that should not be secret at all: Companies are not brands, buildings, or technology. They are people. A corporation does not do anything; its people and customers do. We need to get back to the human aspect of business. It all starts with people and human interactions.
Brian de Haaff (Lovability: How to Build a Business That People Love and Be Happy Doing It)
The most dangerous customers aren't your haters; they are the "meh" in the middle, the dissatisfied customers who don't take the time to complain.
Jay Baer (Hug Your Haters: How to Embrace Complaints and Keep Your Customers)
Whatever his disappointments, Hamilton, forty, must have left Philadelphia with an immense feeling of accomplishment. The Whiskey Rebellion had been suppressed, the country's finances flourished, and the investigation into his affairs had ended with a ringing exoneration. He had prevailed in almost every major program he had sponsored--whether the bank, assumption, funding the public debt, the tax system, the Customs Service, or the Coast Guard--despite years of complaints and bitter smears. John Quincy Adams later stated that his financial system "operated like enchantment for the restoration of public credit." Bankrupt when Hamilton took office, the United States now enjoyed a credit rating equal to that of any European nation. He had laid the groundwork for both liberal democracy and capitalism and helped to transform the role of the president from passive administrator to active policy maker, creating the institutional scaffolding for America's future emergence as a great power. He had demonstrated the creative uses of government and helped to weld the states irreversibly into one nation. He had also defended Washington's administration more brilliantly that anyone else, articulating its constitutional underpinnings and enunciating key tenets of foreign policy. "We look in vain for a man who, in an equal space of time, has produced such direct and lasting effects upon our institutions and history," Henry Cabot Lodge was to contend. Hamilton's achievements were never matched because he was present at the government's inception, when he could draw freely on a blank slate. If Washington was the father of the country and Madison the father of the Constitution, then Alexander Hamilton was surely the father of the American government.
Ron Chernow (Alexander Hamilton)
Now let’s look at the flip side. When a diligent and caring person receives your complaint, they have the power to turn a challenge into a triumph. Through active listening, they demonstrate that your satisfaction is their top priority. They not only seek to solve your problem, but they are dedicated to re-earning your trust, your respect, and keeping your business.
Susan C. Young (The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact(The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #5))
If you have ever experienced this type of unprofessional treatment, I doubt you would even consider giving them business in the future. Interrupting, ignoring, patronizing, or antagonizing a customer is like pouring gas on a fire and creates a more explosive situation than the original complaint. Still, it continues to happen every day, costing companies millions in lost revenue.
Susan C. Young (The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact(The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #5))
Have you ever had a legitimate complaint as a customer which made you angry, upset, or frustrated? How was it “handled?" If you were dealing with an inept, uncaring, or untrained employee, they may have made matters even worse by being rude, defensive, or apathetic. Simple acknowledgment and validation of your complaint is sometimes all that is needed. Without it, you're left frustrated or upset.
Susan C. Young (The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact(The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #5))
ASK YOURSELF: How can you utilize active listening to provide sensational customer service? How will this help resolve complaints from unhappy customers? • Give them your full attention and listen without interruption or defensiveness. • Thank them for bringing the issue to your attention. • Take their concerns seriously and share their sense of urgency to resolve the problem quickly. • Ask questions and focus on what they are really saying. • Listen to their words, tone of voice, body language, and most importantly, how they feel. • Beware of making assumptions or rushing to conclusions before you hear their concern fully. • Explain, guide, educate, assist, and do what’s necessary to help them reach the resolution. • Treat them with respect and empathy. When you do an amazing job of resolving an unhappy customer’s problem, you may end up impressing them more than if the problem had never occurred. You may have just earned their loyalty . . . forever!
Susan C. Young (The Art of Communication: 8 Ways to Confirm Clarity & Understanding for Positive Impact(The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, #5))
This poster in a Nordstrom’s department store once caught my attention: “The only difference between stores is the way they treat their customers.” That’s a bold statement. Most stores would advertise the quality of their merchandise or their wide selection as what sets them apart from the rest. The difference between Nordstrom’s and other stores, according to an employee of the competition, is that other stores are organization-oriented; Nordstrom’s is people-oriented. Their employees are trained to respond quickly and kindly to customer complaints. As a result, according to writer Nancy Austin, “Nordstrom’s doesn’t have customers; it has fans.” A study by TARP, Technical Assistance
John C. Maxwell (Be a People Person: Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships)
If God had a supervisor, she would have sent off one of her famous letters of complaint a long time ago. “You have lost me as a customer.
Liane Moriarty (The Husband's Secret)
In 2013, the ACRC made efforts to solve the peoples’ inconveniences and improve policies by providing 190 analysis reports: 40 frequent analyses, including analyses on social issues, customized analyses, and frequent complaint analyses, and 150 regular analyses, including daily·weekly·monthly reports. In particular, the ACRC
섹파조건만남
Customized analysis of complaints The ACRC has provided an analysis of complaints at the request of government bodies when their failure to accommodate a problem into their policymaking has resulted in problems and social issues. To do this, the ACRC conducted demand-surveys on complaint
섹파조건만남
information required for government organizations to complement policies and institutions or to improve their work. By producing customized complaint information focusing on the demands of each organization, policy maker, and executor, it has improved timeliness and confidence in government policies
섹파조건만남
( O1O'2920'8855 )PCASH( O1O'2920'8855 ) Second, the ACRC analyzed the conditions and current status of administrative agencies in handling civil complaints, and conducted customized consulting for each agency. In this way, the ACRC enhanced the cooperative system with other agencies to raise the capacity to prevent and address civil complaints by transferring its experience and techniques
diro
The PIs help teams to align themselves with their organization’s strategy. PIs are nonfinancial and complement the KPIs; they are shown with KPIs on the scorecard for each organization, division, department, and team. Performance indicators that lie beneath KRIs could include: Percentage increase in sales with top 10% of customers Number of employees’ suggestions implemented in last 30 days Customer complaints from key customers Sales calls organized for the next week, two weeks Late deliveries to key customers The RIs summarize activity, and all financial performance measures are RIs (e.g., daily or weekly sales analysis is a very useful summary, but it is a result of the efforts of many teams). To fully understand what to increase or
Douglas W. Hubbard (Business Intelligence Sampler: Book Excerpts by Douglas Hubbard, David Parmenter, Wayne Eckerson, Dalton Cervo and Mark Allen, Ed Barrows and Andy Neely)
Result indicators that lie beneath KRIs could include: Net profit on key product lines Sales made yesterday Customer complaints from key customers Hospital bed utilization in week
Douglas W. Hubbard (Business Intelligence Sampler: Book Excerpts by Douglas Hubbard, David Parmenter, Wayne Eckerson, Dalton Cervo and Mark Allen, Ed Barrows and Andy Neely)