Cucumber Funny Quotes

Love made you admire funny things about a person, like how good she was at remembering to return her library books and at slicing cucumbers very thin. She was a veritable wonder at pulling a splinter out of her foot.

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

I held in the sneeze, though, by thinking of the word cucumber. It always works.

Watching him from a distance for ten years doesn’t make you an expert, you know!” “Sleeping with him for two months doesn’t make you one, either,” she said, cool as a cucumber. Churchill recoiled with a wide-eyed “oh no she DIDN’T” expression that might have been funny under different circumstances.

Here you are. Would you like some pickles?” “Pickles gives me the wind something awful.” “In that case—” “Oh, I wasn’t saying no,” Mistress Weatherwax said, taking two large pickled cucumbers.

Sending someone all of the possible birthday party emoji is extra festive: great! But sending someone all of the possible phallic emoji (say, the eggplant and the cucumber and the corncob and the banana) is NOT extra sexxaayy: that’s a weird salad.

We need to shop," Paul said, peering over his shoulder. "True. We should do it together." [...]"We can hold up cucumbers in the produce section and make suggestive gestures at each other with them.

... he was as fresh as a big, green, waxy Dutch cucumber.

Josh squeezed her arm. “I’ll behave,” he murmured. “For now.” She’s going to pickle your cucumbers.” “He has more than one?” Natalie whispered. “That’s between me and Kimmie,” Josh replied.

headache, drink one cup of filtered water with ½ cucumber, ½ lemon, and three mint leaves.

Honestly, I thought that someday, ‘I would do wonder and crap cucumbers.