Crocodile Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Crocodile. Here they are! All 100 of them:

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An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
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Winston S. Churchill
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I suppose it's like the ticking crocodile, isn't it? Time is chasing after all of us.
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J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)
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Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
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Steve Irwin
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The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal - or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be.
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Elizabeth Peters (The Snake, the Crocodile and the Dog (Amelia Peabody, #7))
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There's a name for people with an interest in the moon," Alex said. "They're called lunatics.
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Anthony Horowitz (Crocodile Tears (Alex Rider, #8))
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I loved Ophelia: forty thousand brothers Could not, with all their quantity of love, Make up my sum. What wilt thou do for her?... 'Swounds, show me what thou'lt do: Woo't weep? woo't fight? woo't fast? woo't tear thyself? Woo't drink up eisel? eat a crocodile? I'll do't. Dost thou come here to whine? To outface me with leaping in her grave? Be buried quick with her, and so will I: And, if thou prate of mountains, let them throw Millions of acres on us, till our ground, Singeing his pate against the burning zone, Make Ossa like a wart! Nay, an thou'lt mouth, I'll rant as well as thou.
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William Shakespeare
β€œ
To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last - but eat you he will.
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Ronald Reagan
β€œ
How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail, And pour the waters of the Nile On every golden scale! How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly he spreads his claws, And welcomes little fishes in, With gently smiling jaws!
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Lewis Carroll (The Best of Lewis Carroll)
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And I'm falling in love with you," he whispers. "But I would throw you in the water and watch crocodiles tear you to bits, if I thought that doing so would accomplish my goals. Do. Not. Trust. Anyone. Especially me.
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Bethany Griffin (Masque of the Red Death (Masque of the Red Death, #1))
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Right,” I said. β€œSo the baboon, the crocodile…any other pets I should know about?” Amos thought for a moment. β€œVisible ones? No, I think that’s it.
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Rick Riordan (The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles, #1))
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I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle.... Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself! (Amelia Peabody)
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody #1))
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Upon my word," said Dantes, "you make me shudder. Is the world filled with tigers and crocodiles?" "Yes; and remember that two legged tigers and crocodiles are more dangerous than the others.
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Alexandre Dumas (The Count of Monte Cristo)
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I have no fear of losing my life - if I have to save a koala or a crocodile or a kangaroo or a snake, mate, I will save it.
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Steve Irwin
β€œ
People appear like angels until you hear them speak. You must not rush to judge people by the colour of their cloaks, but by the content of their words!
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Israelmore Ayivor
β€œ
Getting eaten by a giant crocodile was bad enough. The kid with the glowing sword only made my day worse.
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Rick Riordan (The Son of Sobek (Demigods & Magicians, #1))
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Crocodiles are easy,' Steve said. 'They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
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Terri Irwin (Steve & Me)
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Being a seasoned Londoner, Martin gave the body the "London once-over" - a quick glance to determine whether this was a drunk, a crazy or a human being in distress. The fact that it was entirely possible for someone to be all three simultaneously is why good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport - like BASE jumping or crocodile wrestling.
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Ben Aaronovitch (Midnight Riot (Rivers of London #1))
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Curled up at the base of the scales, fast asleep, was the oddest monster I'd seen yet. It had the head of crocodile with a lion's mane. The front half of its body was a lion, but the back end was sleek, brown, and fat - a hippo, I decided. The odd bit was, the animal was tiny - I mean, no larger than an average poodle, which I suppose made him a hippodoodle.
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Rick Riordan (The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles, #1))
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It is much more sensible to be an optimist instead of a pessimist, for if one is doomed to disappointment, why experience it in advance?
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Elizabeth Peters (The Snake, the Crocodile and the Dog (Amelia Peabody, #7))
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A thing may be too sad to be believed or too wicked to be believed or too good to be believed; but it cannot be too absurd to be believed in this planet of frogs and elephants, of crocodiles and cuttle-fish.
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G.K. Chesterton
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We were alone in a strange mansion with a baboon, a crocodile, and a weird cat. And apparently, the entire world was in danger. I looked at Sadie. β€œWhat do we do now?
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Rick Riordan (The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles, #1))
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The days hardened with cold and boredom like last year's loaves of bread. One began to cut them with blunt knives without appetite, with a lazy indifference.
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Bruno Schulz (The Street of Crocodiles)
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I feel a horror for exaggerated love or friendship. It's just too well demonstrated to me that when the moment comes that one asks something, or has need of something, the responce is not worth a biscuit.
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Brian Thompson (A Monkey Among Crocodiles: The Life, Loves and Lawsuits of Mrs Georgina Weldon – a disastrous Victorian)
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Is this how you repay my goodness--with badness?” cried the boy. β€œOf course,” said the crocodile out of the corner of his mouth. β€œThat is the way of the world.
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Alex Haley (Roots: The Saga of an American Family)
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Eating next to a twenty-foot-long crocodile took some getting used to, but Philip was well trained. He only ate bacon, stray waterfowl, and the occasional invading monster.
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Rick Riordan (The Serpent's Shadow (The Kane Chronicles, #3))
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I ate the roll, and forced down some more sparkling wine. When your eyes closed against the sun again, and I had nothing else to look at I glanced quickly at your chest, curious, really. I'd only seen chests like that in magazines. I wondered if that's how you'd got all your money . . . modeling. I looked down at my stomach. I grabbed at it, seeing how much fat I could lift up in a roll. "Don't worry," you said, one eye open again like a crocodile, watching me. "You're beautiful." You tipped your head back again "Beautiful," you murmured. "Perfect." "You wouldn't know. You're built like some sort of supermodel." I bit my lip, wishing I hadn't complimented you like that. "Or a stripper," I added. "Prostitute." "I wouldn't want you to think I'm repulsive," you said, half smiling. "Too late." You opened your other eye to squint at me. "Will you ever give me a break?
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Lucy Christopher (Stolen (Stolen, #1))
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The ugliest thing in America is greed, the lust for power and domination, the lunatic ideology of perpetual Growth - with a capital G. 'Progress' in our nation has for too long been confused with 'Growth'; I see the two as different, almost incompatible, since progress means, or should mean, change for the better - toward social justice, a livable and open world, equal opportunity and affirmative action for all forms of life. And I mean all forms, not merely the human. The grizzly, the wolf, the rattlesnake, the condor, the coyote, the crocodile, whatever, each and every species has as much right to be here as we do.
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Edward Abbey (Postcards from Ed: Dispatches and Salvos from an American Iconoclast)
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Beware of manufacturing a God of your own: a God who is all mercy, but not just; a God who is all love, but not holy; a God who has a heaven for every body, but a hell for none; a God who can allow good and bad to be side by side in time, but will make no distinction between good and broad in eternity. Such a God is an idol of your own, as truly an idol as any snake or crocodile in an Egyptian temple. The hands of your own fancy and sentimentality have made him. He is not the God of the Bible, and beside the God of the Bible there is no God at all.
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J.C. Ryle
β€œ
Can you believe him? I think the boy has lost his goddamn mind. Who the fuck plays tug with a crocodile?
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Shelly Laurenston (The Mane Attraction (Pride, #3))
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There are too many people in the world as it is, but the supply of ancient manuscripts is severely limited.
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody #1))
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Oh, mankind, race of crocodiles! How well I recognize you down there, and how worthy you are of yourselves!
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Alexandre Dumas (The Count of Monte Cristo)
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This was a few weeks ago," Annabeth said. "Percy told me a crazy story about meeting a boy our near Moriches Bay. Apparently this kid used hieroglyphs to cast spells. He helped Percy battle a crocodile monsters." "The Sob of Sobek!" Sadie blurted. "But my brother battled that monster. He didn't say anything about-" "Is your brother's name Carter?" Annabeth asked. An angry golden aura flickered around Sadie's head-a halo of hieroglyphs that resembled frowns, fists, and dead stick men. "As of this moment," Sadie growled, "My brother's name is Punching Bag.
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Rick Riordan (The Staff of Serapis (Demigods & Magicians, #2))
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These are the four that are never content: that have never been filled since the dew began- Jacala's mouth, and the glut of the kite, and the hands of the ape, and the eyes of Man.
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Rudyard Kipling (The Jungle Books)
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What were you going to do with it?” McCain asked. "I just thought it might come in useful.” "Were you planning to attack me?” "No. But that’s a good idea.
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Anthony Horowitz (Crocodile Tears (Alex Rider, #8))
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I prayed the monsters would give up. Or that perhaps Philip of Macedonia would climb back to the terrace (do crocodiles climb?) and renew the fight.
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Rick Riordan (The Red Pyramid (The Kane Chronicles, #1))
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Upon my word,' said Dantes, 'you make me tremble. If I listen much longer to you, I shall believe the world is filled with tigers and crocodiles.' 'Remember that two-legged tigers and crocodiles are more dangerous than those that walk on four.
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Alexandre Dumas (The Count of Monte Cristo)
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The school even had a Latin motto: Pergo et Perago, which sounded like the story of two Italian cannibals but which actually meant β€œI try and I achieve.
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Anthony Horowitz (Crocodile Tears (Alex Rider, #8))
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...good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport - like base-jumping or crocodile-wrestling.
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Ben Aaronovitch (Midnight Riot (Rivers of London #1))
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I looked down at my stomach. I grabbed at it, seeing how much fat I could lift up in a roll. "Don't worry," you said, one eye open again like a crocodile watching me. "You're beautiful." You tipped your head back. "Beautiful," you murmured. "Perfect.
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Lucy Christopher (Stolen (Stolen, #1))
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You cannot defeat your enemies until you know who they are.
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Anthony Horowitz (Crocodile Tears (Alex Rider, #8))
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Oh, that river of wishes, the slippery crocodile dream of it, how it might have carried my body down through all the glittering sand bars to the sea.
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Barbara Kingsolver (The Poisonwood Bible)
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What's he doing?" Bethany asked. "He's bowing.'Good day milday." Bethany giggled. "Crocodiles don't bow." "They should when they meet a princess.
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Kerrelyn Sparks (The Undead Next Door (Love at Stake, #4))
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They watched as the Shaw brothers played tug of war with a crocodile over what Travis would guess was a nine-point buck. The buck was still kicking, too, but that didn’t stop the brothers or the croc. β€œI’m sensing the crazy gene, hoss,” Donnie mumbled. β€œYa think?
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Shelly Laurenston (The Mane Attraction (Pride, #3))
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I could sit and watch nature documentaries with Jenks and the kids the rest of the night if I wanted. And trust me, watching a dozen pixies scream as a crocodile chomped on a zebra was something not to be missed. They invariably cheered for the crocodile, not the zebra.
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Kim Harrison (A Perfect Blood (The Hollows, #10))
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I'm no more modern than ancient, no more French than Chinese, and the idea of a native country, that is to say, the imperative to live on one bit of ground marked red or blue on the map and to hate the other bits in green or black, has always seemed to me narrow-minded, blinkered and profoundly stupid. I am a soul brother to everything that lives, to the giraffe and to the crocodile as much as to man.
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Gustave Flaubert
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He died fighting for what he believed in.
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Anthony Horowitz (Crocodile Tears (Alex Rider, #8))
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Men are frail creatures, of course; one does not expect them to exhibit the steadfastness of women.
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody #1))
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The boy took a step toward her. Lex jumped back, her contentious instincts kicking in. "Stop right there," she warned. "I punch, I kick, and I feel compelled to warn you, I can bite harder than the average Amazonian crocodile." He smirked and leaned against the doorframe. "And I feel compelled to warn YOU that the bathroom we now share has a leaky ceiling," he said, pointing up. "There's an umbrella under the sink, if you're going to be in here for a while.
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Gina Damico (Croak (Croak, #1))
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The work of art is a stuffed crocodile.
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Alfred Jarry
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Crocodile Lies I confess, yes, our Fall was all my fault If you kissed my eyes, your lips would taste salt But you think my regret is a lie, and the tears I cry Are the crocodile kind. The sweat on your upper lip starts to boil White hot with anger, still convinced I'm your foil You keep fighting me, though my eyes are free From crocodile lies. You, yes, you, linger inside my heart The same you who stopped us before we could start I didn't want to leave, but you began to believe Your own crocodile lies. The only person stopping you is yourself, You won't accept that I want no one else, So until you do, I'll let someone else have you Every day I live the lie, But not the crocodile kind --Marcus Flutie
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Megan McCafferty (Second Helpings (Jessica Darling, #2))
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I give you now Professor Twist The conscientious scientist. Trustees exclaimed, β€œHe never bungles” And sent him off to distant jungles. Camped on a tropic riverside One day he missed his lovely bride. She had, the guide informed him later, Been eaten by an alligator. Professor Twist could not but smile. You mean,” he said β€œa crocodile.!
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Ogden Nash
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Even in the depths of sleep, in which he had to satisfy his need for protection and love by curling himself up into a trembling ball, he could not rid himself of the feeling of loneliness and homelessness.
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Bruno Schulz (The Street of Crocodiles)
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My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it.
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Lemony Snicket (The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #4))
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If we save our wild places, we will ultimately save ourselves.
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Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter: The Incredible Life and Adventures of Steve and Terri Irwin)
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Peculiar or not, it is my idea of pleasure. Why, why else do you lead this life you don't enjoy it? Don't talk of duty to me; you men always have some high-sounding excuse for indulging yourselves. You go gallivanting over the earth, climbing mountains, looking for the sources of the Nile; and expect women to sit dully at home embroidering. I embroider very badly. I think I would excavate rather well.
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody #1))
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On your track to success, never forget that you are crossing many rivers. Yes you are! And each of those rivers contain crocodiles that may attempt to intimidate you. Never be afraid; sail on and you will get there.
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Israelmore Ayivor
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Brendon wasn’t exactly surprised to find Mitch sitting by the lake at three in the morning, staring out over the still water. Of course, he would have much preferred if he wasn’t sitting with a crocodile next to him. It was one thing to enjoy a predatory game of tug with him, but it was another to treat him like the family’s pet dog.
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Shelly Laurenston (The Mane Attraction (Pride, #3))
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The vulture Nekhbet, who'd one possessed my gran (long story); the crocodile Sobek, who'd tried to kill my cat (longer story); and the lion goddess Sekhmet, whom we'd once vanished in hot sauce ( don't even ask) - page 9
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Rick Riordan (The Serpent's Shadow (The Kane Chronicles, #3))
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That Jones shall worship the god within him turns out ultimately to mean that Jones shall worship Jones. Let Jones worship the sun or moon, anything rather than the Inner Light; let Jones worship cats or crocodiles, if he can find any in his street, but not the god within. Christianity came into the world firstly in order to assert with violence that a man had not only to look inwards, but to look outwards, to behold with astonishment and enthusiasm a divine company and a divine captain. The only fun of being a Christian was that a man was not left alone with the Inner Light, but definitely recognized an outer light, fair as the sun, clear as the moon, terrible as an army with banners.
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G.K. Chesterton (Orthodoxy)
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It is true, I suppose, that nobody finds it exactly pleasant to be criticized or shouted at, but I see in the face of the human being raging at me a wild animal in its true colors, one more horrible than any lion, crocodile or dragon. People normally seem to be hiding this true nature, but an occasion will arise (as when an ox sedately ensconced in a grassy meadow suddenly lashes out with its tail to kill the horsefly on its flank) when anger makes them reveal in a flash human nature in all its horror.
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Osamu Dazai (No Longer Human)
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Secretly though, I did sort of enjoy being a fucked-up mess. Apart from that, I didn't have a whole lot going on.
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Qiu Miaojin (Notes of a Crocodile)
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How doth the little crocodile Improve his shining tail, And pour the waters of the Nile On every golden scale!
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Lewis Carroll (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)
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If you took the city of Tokyo and turned it upside down and shook it you would be amazed at the animals that fall out: badgers, wolves, boa constrictors, crocodiles, ostriches, baboons, capybaras, wild boars, leopards, manatees, ruminants, in untold numbers. There is no doubt in my mind that that feral giraffes and feral hippos have been living in Tokyo for generations without seeing a soul.
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Yann Martel (Life of Pi)
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The Marquis sighed. "I thought it was just a legend," he said. "Like the alligators in the sewers of New York City." Old Bailey nodded, sagely: "What, the big white buggers? They're down there. I had a friend lost a head to one of them." A moment of silence. Old Naeiley handed the statue back to the Marquis. Then he raised his hand, and snapped it, like a crocodile hand, at the Carabas. "It was OK," gurned Old Bailey with a grin that was most terrible to behold. "He had another.
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Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
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God help the poor mummy who encounters you, Peabody,” he said bitterly. β€œWe ought to supply it with a pistol, to even the odds.
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody #1))
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We don’t own the planet Earth, we belong to it. And we must share it with our wildlife.
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Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter: The Incredible Life and Adventures of Steve and Terri Irwin)
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One hand planted on the top rail, slick from a recent rain, I swung my legs sideways, up and over. Home free. Until my bottom foot clipped the post, and I spun as if caught in a crocodile’s death roll. Good news? The spongy forest floor cushioned my fall. Bad news? Momentum slammed my torso into a tree trunk. Couldn’t breathe. But good news again. I’d rolled under a fat, bushy pine, which, along with the fading twilight, concealed my position. I heard the beast fly overhead in pursuit, taking out a few treetops on its way by. Yeah, that was my plan all along. Man, I’m good. Except my body. It hurt.
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A. Kirk (Demons at Deadnight (Divinicus Nex Chronicles, #1))
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Reality is as thin as paper, and betrays with all its cracks its imitative character.
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Bruno Schulz (The Street of Crocodiles)
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Look at self-satisfied pop singers or greasy, semi-literate athletes. People worship them. Why?” "Because they’re talented.
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Anthony Horowitz (Crocodile Tears (Alex Rider, #8))
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Unhealthy love is two people stoking a shared fantasy of desperate beauty, weaponizing passion and desire.
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Qiu Miaojin (Notes of a Crocodile)
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I have been accused of being somewhat abrupt in my actions and decisions, but I never act without thought; it is simply that I think more quickly and more intelligently than most people.
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody, #1))
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Yeah,” Chaz says. β€œYou know, when you packed up all your stuff and left his ass high and dry, I thought finally. A woman with some moral fiber. Little did I know that all he’d need to win you back was a big diamond ring and few crocodile tears. I really expected bigger things from you, Lizzie. Tell me something. Are you going to wait until the invitations have actually gone out before you admit to yourself that Luke is that last guy you ought to be spending the rest of your life with? Or are you going to do the right thing and call if off now?
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Meg Cabot (Queen of Babble Gets Hitched (Queen of Babble, #3))
β€œ
When you are rich, people treat you with respect.
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Anthony Horowitz (Crocodile Tears (Alex Rider, #8))
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...Peabody had better retire to her bed; she is clearly in need of recuperative sleep, she has not made a sarcastic remark for fully ten minutes.
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody #1))
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...."the sound of a barrel organ rising from the deepest golden vein of the day; two or three bars of a chorus, played on a distant piano over and over again, melting in the sun on the white pavement, lost in the fire of high noon.
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Bruno Schulz (The Street of Crocodiles)
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[Australia] is the home of the largest living thing on earth, the Great Barrier Reef, and of the largest monolith, Ayers Rock (or Uluru to use its now-official, more respectful Aboriginal name). It has more things that will kill you than anywhere else. Of the world's ten most poisonous snakes, all are Australian. Five of its creatures - the funnel web spider, box jellyfish, blue-ringed octopus, paralysis tick, and stonefish - are the most lethal of their type in the world. This is a country where even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay you out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but actually sometimes go for you. ... If you are not stung or pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried helplessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback. It's a tough place.
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Bill Bryson (In a Sunburned Country)
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I wish I could fall in love with a man, but there are too many beautiful women.
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Qiu Miaojin (Notes of a Crocodile)
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But Carroll's were more convoluted, and they struck me as funny in a new way: 1) Babies are illogical. 2) Nobody is despised who can manage a crocodile. 3) Illogical persons are despised. Therefore, babies cannot manage crocodiles. And: 1) No interesting poems are unpopular among people of real taste. 2) No modern poetry is free from affectation. 3) All of your poems are on the subject of soap bubbles. 4) No affected poetry is popular among people of taste. 5) Only a modern poem would be on the subject of soap bubbles. Therefore, all your poems are uninteresting.
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Steve Martin (Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life)
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The approval of a cat cannot but flatter the recipient.
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Elizabeth Peters (The Snake, the Crocodile and the Dog (Amelia Peabody, #7))
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Crocodiles?” Murray gasped, then turned his eyes to the heavens. β€œWhat did I ever do to deserve this?” β€œAttempted murder, for one,” Zoe answered, then ticked more things off on her fingers. β€œPlus terrorism, assassination, destruction of public property, and being an all-around jerk. The question is really, what haven’t you done to deserve this?
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Stuart Gibbs (Spy School Goes South)
β€œ
love has a most unfortunate effect on the brain,
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody, #1))
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Animals! the object of insatiable interest, examples of the riddle of life, created, as it were, to reveal the human being to man himself, displaying his richness and complexity in a thousand kaleidoscopic possibilities, each of them brought to some curious end, to some characteristic exuberance.
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Bruno Schulz (The Street of Crocodiles)
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Can you understand,' asked my father, 'the deep meaning of that weakness, that passion for colored tissue, for papier-mache, for distemper, for oakum and sawdust? This is,' he continued with a pained smile, 'the proof of our love for matter as such, for its fluffiness or porosity, for its unique mystical consistency. Demiurge, that great master and artist, made matter invisible, made it disappear under the surface of life. We, on the contrary, love its creaking, its resistance, its clumsiness. We like to see behind each gesture, behind each move, its inertia, its heavy effort, its bearlike awkwardness.
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Bruno Schulz (The Street of Crocodiles)
β€œ
Sophy looked at him. Under his amazed and horrified gaze, large tears slowly welled over her eyelids, and rolled down her cheeks. She did not sniff, or gulp, or even sob: merely allowed her tears to gather and fall. 'Sophy, for God's sake do not cry!' 'Oh, do not stop me!' begged Sophy. 'Sir Horace says it is my only accomplishment.' Mr. Rivenhall glared at her. 'What!' 'Very few persons are able to do it!' Sophy assured him. 'I discovered it by the veriest accident when I was seven years old. Sir Horace said I should cultivate it, for I would find it most useful.' 'You - you - ' Words failed Mr. Rivenhall. 'Stop at once!
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Georgette Heyer (The Grand Sophy)
β€œ
For a long time, my hidden shame had made me push everyone away. I'd rejected them before they could reject me. I ran away from close relationships even with the people who loved me. I was a blind man fallen into the ocean.
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Qiu Miaojin (Notes of a Crocodile)
β€œ
my nature does not lend itself to the meekness required of a wife in our society. I could not endure a man who would let himself be ruled by me, and I would not endure a man who tried to rule me.
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody, #1))
β€œ
I hope I number patience among my virtues, but shilly-shallying, when nothing is to be gained by delay, is not a virtue.
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Elizabeth Peters (Crocodile on the Sandbank (Amelia Peabody, #1))
β€œ
Man was entering under false pretenses the sphere of incredible facilities, acquired too cheaply, below cost price, almost for nothing, and the disproportion between outlay and gain, the obvious fraud on nature, the excessive payment for a trick of genius, had to be offset by self-parody.
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Bruno Schulz (The Street of Crocodiles)
β€œ
I am she who lifts the mountains When she goes to hunt, Who wears mamba for a headband And a lion for a belt. Beware! I swallow elephants whole And pick my teeth with rhinoceros horns, I drink up rivers to get at the hippos. Let them hear my words! Nhamo is coming And her hunger is great. I am she who tosses trees Instead of spears. The ostrich is my pillow And the elephant is my footstool! I am Nhamo Who makes the river my highway And sends crocodiles scurrying into the reeds!
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Nancy Farmer (A Girl Named Disaster)
β€œ
Human...I don't know what that word means...Tell me what defines it. What sets it apart? Are you going to tell me its love? A crocodile will defend her brood to the death. Hope? A lion will stalk its prey for days. Faith? Who is to say what gods populate an orangutan's imagination. We build? So do termites. We dream? House cats do that on the windowsill...We live in a shabby edifice...hastily erected over a span of ten thousand years, and we draw he flimsy curtains to hide the truth from ourselves.
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Rick Yancey (The Final Descent (The Monstrumologist, #4))
β€œ
Maybe you cannot be the CEO of a multinational corporation, but you can frighten a few people, or cause them to scurry around like chickens, or steal from them, orβ€”maybe best of allβ€”create situations that cause them to feel bad about themselves. And this is power, especially when the people you manipulate are superior to you in some way. Most invigorating of all is to bring down people who are smarter or more accomplished than you, or perhaps classier, more attractive or popular or morally admirable. This is not only good fun; it is existential vengeance. And without a conscience, it is amazingly easy to do. You quietly lie to the boss or to the boss's boss, cry some crocodile tears, or sabotage a coworker's project, or gaslight a patient (or a child), bait people with promises, or provide a little misinformation that will never be traced back to you.
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Martha Stout (The Sociopath Next Door)
β€œ
On May 26th, 2003, Aaron Ralston was hiking, a boulder fell on his right hand, he waited four days, he then amputated his own arm with a pocketknife. On New Year’s Eve, a woman was bungee jumping, the cord broke, she fell into a river and had to swim back to land in crocodile-infested waters with a broken collarbone. Claire Champlin was smashed in the face by a five-pound watermelon being propelled by a slingshot. Mathew Brobst was hit by a javelin. David Striegl was actually punched in the mouth by a kangaroo. The most amazing part of these stories is when asked about the experience they all smiled, shrugged and said β€œI guess things could’ve been worse.” So go ahead, tell me you’re having a bad day. Tell me about the traffic. Tell me about your boss. Tell me about the job you’ve been trying to quit for the past four years. Tell me the morning is just a townhouse burning to the ground and the snooze button is a fire extinguisher. Tell me the alarm clock stole the keys to your smile, drove it into 7 am and the crash totaled your happiness. Tell me. Tell me how blessed are we to have tragedy so small it can fit on the tips of our tongues. When Evan lost his legs he was speechless. When my cousin was assaulted she didn’t speak for 48 hours. When my uncle was murdered, we had to send out a search party to find my father’s voice. Most people have no idea that tragedy and silence often have the exact same address. When your day is a museum of disappointments, hanging from events that were outside of your control, when you feel like your guardian angel put in his two weeks notice two months ago and just decided not to tell you, when it seems like God is just a babysitter that’s always on the phone, when you get punched in the esophagus by a fistful of life. Remember, every year two million people die of dehydration. So it doesn’t matter if the glass is half full or half empty. There’s water in the cup. Drink it and stop complaining. Muscle is created by lifting things that are designed to weigh us down. When your shoulders are heavy stand up straight and call it exercise. Life is a gym membership with a really complicated cancellation policy. Remember, you will survive, things could be worse, and we are never given anything we can’t handle. When the whole world crumbles, you have to build a new one out of all the pieces that are still here. Remember, you are still here. The human heart beats approximately 4,000 times per hour and each pulse, each throb, each palpitation is a trophy, engraved with the words β€œYou are still alive.” You are still alive. So act like it.
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Rudy Francisco (Helium (Button Poetry))
β€œ
We must tell stories the way God does, stories in which a sister must float her little brother on a river with nothing but a basket between him and the crocodiles. Stories in which a king is a coward, and a shepherd boy steps forward to face the giant. Stories with fiery serpents and leviathans and sermons in whirlwinds. Stories in which murderers are blinded on donkeys and become heroes. Stories with dens of lions and fiery furnaces and lone prophets laughing at kings and priests and demons. Stories with heads on platters. Stories with courage and crosses and redemption. Stories with resurrections.
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N.D. Wilson
β€œ
What you hear in the forest but cannot see might be a tiger. It might even be a conspiracy of tigers, each hungrier and more vicious than the other, led by a crocodile. But it might not be, too. If you turn and look, perhaps you’ll see that it’s just a squirrel. (I know someone who was actually chased by a squirrel.) Something is out there in the woods. You know that with certainty. But often it’s only a squirrel. If you refuse to look, however, then it’s a dragon, and you’re no knight: you’re a mouse confronting a lion; a rabbit, paralyzed by the gaze of a wolf. And I am not saying that it’s always a squirrel. Often it’s something truly terrible. But even what is terrible in actuality often pales in significance compared to what is terrible in imagination. And often what cannot be confronted because of its horror in imagination can in fact be confronted when reduced to its-still-admittedly-terrible actuality.
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Jordan B. Peterson (12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos)
β€œ
Does that change things?” asked the old man. β€œMaybe Anansi’s just some guy from a story, made up back in Africa in the dawn days of the world by some boy with blackfly on his leg, pushing his crutch in the dirt, making up some goofy story about a man made of tar. Does that change anything? People respond to the stories. They tell them themselves. The stories spread, and as people tell them, the stories change the tellers. Because now the folk who never had any thought in their head but how to run from lions and keep far enough away from rivers that the crocodiles don’t get an easy meal, now they’re starting to dream about a whole new place to live. The world may be the same, but the wallpaper’s changed. Yes? People still have the same story, the one where they get born and they do stuff and they die, but now the story means something different to what it meant before.
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Neil Gaiman (Anansi Boys)
β€œ
Do you think,” she says, the words emerging thickly, β€œwe might have used up all our conversation last night?” β€œNot possible,” says Oliver, and the way he says it, his mouth turned up in a smile, his voice full of warmth, unwinds the knot in Hadley’s stomach. β€œWe haven’t even gotten to the really important stuff yet.” β€œLike what?” she asks, trying to arrange her face in a way that disguises the relief she feels. β€œLike what’s so great about Dickens?” β€œNot at all,” he says. β€œMore like the plight of koalas. Or the fact that Venice is sinking.” He pauses, waiting for this to register, and when Hadley says nothing, he slaps his knee for emphasis. β€œSinking! The whole city! Can you believe it?” She frowns in mock seriousness. β€œThat does sound pretty important.” β€œIt is,” Oliver insists. β€œAnd don’t even get me started on the size of our carbon footprint after this trip. Or the difference between crocodiles and alligators. Or the longest recorded flight of a chicken.” β€œPlease tell me you don’t actually know that.” β€œThirteen seconds,” he says, leaning forward to look past her and out the window. β€œThis is a total disaster. We’re nearly to Heathrow and we haven’t even properly discussed flying chickens.
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Jennifer E. Smith (The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight)
β€œ
Matter never makes jokes: it is always full of the tragically serious. Who dares to think that you can play with matter, that you can shape it for a joke, that the joke will not be built in, will not eat into it like fate, like destiny? Can you imagine the pain, the dull imprisoned suffering, hewn into the matter of that dummy which does not know why it must be what it is, why it must remain in that forcibly imposed form which is no more than a parody? Do you understand the power of form, of expression, of pretense, the arbitrary tyranny imposed on a helpless block, and ruling it like its own, tyrannical, despotic soul?
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Bruno Schulz (The Street of Crocodiles)
β€œ
....the Crocodiles say they can't even begin to say how many new guys they've seen Come In and then get sucked back Out There, Come In to AA for a while and Hang In and put together a little sober time and have things start to get better, head-wise and life-quality-wise, and after a while the new guys get cocky, they decide they've gotten `Well,' and they get really busy at the new job sobriety's allowed them to get, or maybe they buy season Celtics tickets, or they rediscover pussy and start chasing pussy (these withered gnarled toothless totally post-sexual old fuckers actually say pussy), but one way or another these poor cocky clueless new bastards start gradually drifting away from rabid Activity In The Group, and then away from their Group itself, and then little by little gradually drift away from any AA meetings at all, and then, without the protection of meetings or a Group, in time--oh there's always plenty of time, the Disease is fiendishly patient--how in time they forget what it was like, the ones that've cockily drifted, they forget who and what they are, they forget about the Disease, until like one day they're at like maybe a Celtics-Sixers game, and the good old Fleet/First Interstate Center's hot, and they think what could just one cold foamer hurt, after all this sober time, now that they've gotten `Well.' Just one cold one. What could it hurt. And after that one it's like they'd never stopped, if they've got the Disease. And how in a month or six months or a year they have to Come Back In, back to the Boston AA halls and their old Group, tottering, D.T.ing, with their faces hanging down around their knees all over again, or maybe it's five or ten years before they can get it up to get back In, beaten to shit again, or else their system isn't ready for the recurred abuse again after some sober time and they die Out There--the Crocodiles are always talking in hushed, 'Nam-like tones about Out There--or else, worse, maybe they kill somebody in a blackout and spend the rest of their lives in MCI-Walpole drinking raisin jack fermented in the seatless toilet and trying to recall what they did to get in there, Out There; or else, worst of all, these cocky new guys drift back Out There and have nothing sufficiently horrible to Finish them happen at all, just go back to drinking 24/7/365, to not-living, behind bars, undead, back in the Disease's cage all over again. The Crocodiles talk about how they can't count the number of guys that've Come In for a while and drifted away and gone back Out There and died, or not gotten to die.
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David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest)
β€œ
I’d taken everyone I loved and killed them off in my heart, one by one. I’d long been tending their gravesβ€”secretly visiting and mourning during the day, going out and erecting a cross on starry nights, lying inside and awaiting my own death on starless nights. That was my Atlantis, the kingdom I’d built in the name of separation. I’d never before unearthed so much of myself, and so suddenly at that. Inside the world of my tomb, everyone else was dead, I alone survived, and that was the reason for my sorrow. It didn’t take long to spot the largest sarcophagus. It was the one in which Shui Ling had been entombed, and across the front, it read: This woman is madly in love with me. And then reality finally hit me. I had my old schema (which offered a peephole, really) to blame for my decision to leave this woman, to kill her and preserve her body in this sarcophagus, where she’d stay mine forever. I’d evaded the perils of real relationships and robbed her of the ability to change with time. These two prospects had given rise to β€œmy deep-rooted fear of a real separation, which in turn yielded the avoidant mentality that had only hastened it.
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Qiu Miaojin (Notes of a Crocodile)
β€œ
I feel to that the gap between my new life in New York and the situation at home in Africa is stretching into a gulf, as Zimbabwe spirals downwards into a violent dictatorship. My head bulges with the effort to contain both worlds. When I am back in New York, Africa immediately seems fantastical – a wildly plumaged bird, as exotic as it is unlikely. Most of us struggle in life to maintain the illusion of control, but in Africa that illusion is almost impossible to maintain. I always have the sense there that there is no equilibrium, that everything perpetually teeters on the brink of some dramatic change, that society constantly stands poised for some spasm, some tsunami in which you can do nothing but hope to bob up to the surface and not be sucked out into a dark and hungry sea. The origin of my permanent sense of unease, my general foreboding, is probably the fact that I have lived through just such change, such a sudden and violent upending of value systems. In my part of Africa, death is never far away. With more Zimbabweans dying in their early thirties now, mortality has a seat at every table. The urgent, tugging winds themselves seem to whisper the message, memento mori, you too shall die. In Africa, you do not view death from the auditorium of life, as a spectator, but from the edge of the stage, waiting only for your cue. You feel perishable, temporary, transient. You feel mortal. Maybe that is why you seem to live more vividly in Africa. The drama of life there is amplified by its constant proximity to death. That’s what infuses it with tension. It is the essence of its tragedy too. People love harder there. Love is the way that life forgets that it is terminal. Love is life’s alibi in the face of death. For me, the illusion of control is much easier to maintain in England or America. In this temperate world, I feel more secure, as if change will only happen incrementally, in manageable, finely calibrated, bite-sized portions. There is a sense of continuity threaded through it all: the anchor of history, the tangible presence of antiquity, of buildings, of institutions. You live in the expectation of reaching old age. At least you used to. But on Tuesday, September 11, 2001, those two states of mind converge. Suddenly it feels like I am back in Africa, where things can be taken away from you at random, in a single violent stroke, as quick as the whip of a snake’s head. Where tumult is raised with an abruptness that is as breathtaking as the violence itself.
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Peter Godwin (When a Crocodile Eats the Sun: A Memoir of Africa)