Coparenting Quotes

The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to respect the woman that gave birth to his children. It is because of her that you have the greatest treasures in your life. You may have moved on, but your children have not. If you can’t be her soulmate, then at least be thoughtful. Whom your children love should always be someone that you acknowledge with kindness. Your children notice everything and will follow your example.

we want our spouses and partners to be everything to us: a lover, a best friend, a confidant, a nurturer, an intellectual equal, sometimes a coparent, sometimes even an oblique replacement for a lost or failed parent.

The emotional abuse suffered at the hands of a narcissist is on par with the psychological and mental abuse when dealing with a psychopath or sociopath.

We begin to understand that to coparent is to one day look up and notice that you are on a roller coaster with another human being. You are in the same car, strapped down side by side and you can never, ever get off. There will never be another moment in your lives when your hearts don't rise and fall together, when your minds don't race and panic together, when your stomachs don't churn in tandem, when you stop seeing huge hills emerge in the distance and simultaneously grab the side of the car and hold on tight. No one except for the one strapped down beside you will ever understand the particular thrills and terrors of your ride.

In every way that mattered, we lost and we lost big. Some people are little Chernobyls, shimmering with silent, spreading poison: get anywhere near them and every breath you take will wreck you from the inside out. Some cases--ask any cop--are malignant and incurable, devouring everything they touch.

one of the major results of being on the receiving end of Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome is the development of PTSD

-We eat our mates if we can catch them. Everybody's got some evolutionary baggage that winds up maladaptive in a sophont setting.- "Valuable protein resource." I shrugged. "And it's not as if your species is designed for coparenting.

In particular, while natural selection favors both males and females that leave many offspring, the best strategy for doing so may be different for fathers and mothers. That generates a built-in conflict between the parents, a conclusion that all too many humans don’t need scientists to reveal to them. We make jokes about the battle of the sexes, but the battle is neither a joke nor an aberrant accident of how individual father or mothers behave on particular occasions. It is indeed perfectly true that behavior that is in a male’s genetic interests may not necessarily be in the interests of his female co-parent, and vice versa. That cruel fact is one of the fundamental causes of human misery.

Red Flag: Coparenting with a narcissist feels like hitting your head against a wall. They do not work with you, because to them the game is to win the child's love. By turning them against you. The child is used as a weapon to hurt you.

We begin to understand that to co-parent is to one day look up and notice that you are on a roller coaster with another human being. You are in the same car, strapped down side by side and you can never, ever get off. There will never be another moment in your lives when your hearts don't rise and fall together, when your stomach doesn't churn in tandem, when you stop seeing huge hills emerge in the distance and simultaneously grab the sides of the car and hold on tight. No one except for the one strapped down beside you will ever understand the particular thrills and terrors of your ride.

Also, if Briar had a kid, it would basically be my kid, too... I don’t mean that in some like…nuclear family, heterosexual, we’re-registered-at-Hobby-Lobby kind of way. I just mean, you know, Briar is my family, and our family is whatever we decide it is.

Don't ever talk badly about the narcissist in front of your kids. Understand the narcissist will talk badly to your kids about you. Children will learn to trust no one and be messed up forever if you don't keep them grounded. Put kids first to protect them.

If your coparent is a toxic narcissist, then you will face more than twice the work—not only to impart these life lessons in the first place but also to undo the damage wrought by your narcissistic coparent (for all the reasons described in the parenting chapter).

In general, when you are in a relationship with a toxic narcissist and attempting to coparent, you are, in essence, a single parent with an elephant on your back; you have all the responsibilities and are undermined on a daily basis. It would be easier to be an actual single parent.

Don't tell people what you're doing, tell them what you did!

Living with the feeling that the world was on fire, Wren now knew, was nothing copared to watching it burn.

It may be difficult at first but divorcing a narcissist is worth it.

Lots of kids wet the bed when they are little but grow out of it. An example of a tolerable stress response would be a child who reverts back to bedwetting after his parents’ divorce. The split isn’t acrimonious, and while the dad moved out, both adults are committed to co-parenting and understand that their child needs stability and extra support. As a result of that buffering of the child’s stress, he stops wetting the bed after a few months. Like my drive-by-induced stress, the effects are temporary if a solid support network is in place.

Motherhood is the last area in which the qualities we usually value—rationality, independent thinking, consulting our own best interests, planning for a better, more prosperous future, and dare I say it, pursuing happiness and dreams—are condemned as frivolity and selfishness. We certainly don’t expect a man who accidentally impregnates a woman to drop everything and accept a life of difficulties and dimmed hopes in order to co-parent a baby. No college for you, young man—maybe you can pick up some courses later, when your child is in school.

If you hold onto hurt and anger with a narcissist, the children will have no normal parent. The narcissistic parent will use them as puppets, lovebomb and abandon them. You are their only hope.

¿Cómo es posible, pues, que los terroristas consigan copar los titulares y cambiar la situación política en todo el mundo? Porque provocan que sus enemigos reaccionen de manera desproporcionada. En esencia, el terrorismo es un espectáculo.

I advocate for fatherhood because of the trauma I experienced as a father. When I separated from my daughters mother, she literally tried to destroy my relationship with my daughter. She did everything she could to jeapordize me and my daughters daddy-daughter relationship. She prioritized maternal control over the presence of paternal love. She was willing to hurt her own daughter in an effort to hurt me because she was jealous that I got married and was happy with my new family. I want to help create a world where no father and no daughter ever has to suffer the way me and my daughter did because of a divorce or separation.

When divorce or separation involves mutual children, it's often the father who suffers the most as a parent and the children who suffer in regards to their relationship with their dad. During my separation, my daughters mom used our daughter as a weapon in an effort to hurt me. She knew that I love my daughter immensely and so she would do all kinds of manipulative tricks to get in the way of our daddy daughter relationship in an effort to cause me emotional pain. She was willing to cause our daughter emotional pain in her effort to cause me emotional pain. Unfortunately, millions of fathers and children have experienced this pain. It has to end.

As much as I find the soulmate concept sappy and silly, I also understand its appeal. The soulmate promises an all-in-one solution. Find that one perfect person and you have—for starters—your best friend, your sexual partner, your comforter and caretaker, your cheerleader, your escort to every social function, your consultant on matters large and small, and the one and only teammate you will ever need in home management, money management, and vacation planning. And that list doesn’t even include any of the potential coparenting possibilities. The soulmate mythology is the ultimate seduction: Find that one right person and all of your wishes will come true.

Many survivors of a narcissist discover that they've sacrificed so much in an attempt to please the narcissist that they've lost sight of who they are. Rediscovering oneself involves reclaiming things once loved, be it passions, friendships, or even jobs. It's about finding that one thing you used to enjoy and taking it back. Reconnect with your inner child, play, and reintroduce yourself to the joys that make you uniquely you.

One of single moms’ biggest challenges is finding time to do it all. If you have a co-parent, it can be tempting to use those hours and days your kids are with their dad to catch up on housework or professional work. Don’t go down that rabbit hole. Use this time to prioritize self-care. Later, you will read from several women who so appreciate the time afforded by co-parenting to exercise, build businesses, catch up on TV and movies, nurture their social and dating lives, or just read a book. Do not squander those hours by doing laundry! Despite how full (and crazy) your days can be, there are always pockets of time you can dedicate to self-care.

our species’ most basic needs (food, shelter, safety) must be met before we can pursue more sophisticated emotional or social desires like prestige and creative fulfillment. Initially, marriage provided a way for people to secure resources and fulfill those basic needs. Later, the companionate marriage redefined the institution as one that met higher needs such as belonging, love, and self-esteem. Now, in the twenty-first century, we don’t just want reliable co-parents and monogamous sex; we want our partners to support our self-expression and foster our personal growth—the things at the very top of Maslow’s hierarchy. Increasingly, we see marriage as an important tool in constructing a fulfilling life.

Imagine the daughter of a narcissistic father as an example. She grows up chronically violated and abused at home, perhaps bullied by her peers as well. Her burgeoning low self-esteem, disruptions in identity and problems with emotional regulation causes her to live a life filled with terror. This is a terror that is stored in the body and literally shapes her brain. It is also what makes her brain extra vulnerable and susceptible to the effects of trauma in adulthood.                              Being verbally, emotionally and sometimes even physically beaten down, the child of a narcissistic parent learns that there is no safe place for her in the world. The symptoms of trauma emerge: disassociation to survive and escape her day-to-day existence, addictions that cause her to self-sabotage, maybe even self-harm to cope with the pain of being unloved, neglected and mistreated. Her pervasive sense of worthlessness and toxic shame, as well as subconscious programming, then cause her to become more easily attached to emotional predators in adulthood. In her repeated search for a rescuer, she instead finds those who chronically diminish her just like her earliest abusers. Of course, her resilience, adept skill set in adapting to chaotic environments and ability to “bounce back” was also birthed in early childhood. This is also seen as an “asset” to toxic partners because it means she will be more likely to stay within the abuse cycle in order to attempt to make things “work.” She then suffers not just from early childhood trauma, but from multiple re-victimizations in adulthood until, with the right support, she addresses her core wounds and begins to break the cycle step by step. Before she can break the cycle, she must first give herself the space and time to recover. A break from establishing new relationships is often essential during this time; No Contact (or Low Contact from her abusers in more complicated situations such as co-parenting) is also vital to the healing journey, to prevent compounding any existing traumas.

A third assumption: a commitment to monogamy is an admirable consequence of love, stemming from a deep-seated generosity and an intimate interest in the other’s flourishing and well-being. A call for monogamy is a sure indication that one partner has the other’s best interests at heart. To Rabih’s new way of thinking, it seems anything but kind or considerate to insist that a spouse return to his room alone to watch CNN and eat yet another club sandwich while perched on the edge of his bed, when he has perhaps only a few more decades of life left on the planet, an increasingly dishevelled physique, an at best intermittent track record with the opposite sex, and a young woman from California standing before him who sincerely wishes to remove her dress in his honour. If love is to be defined as a genuine concern for the well-being of another person, then it must surely be deemed compatible with granting permission for an often harassed and rather browbeaten husband to step off the elevator on the eighteenth floor, in order to enjoy ten minutes of rejuvenating cunnilingus with a near-stranger. Otherwise it may seem that what we are dealing with is not really love at all but rather a kind of small-minded and hypocritical possessiveness, a desire to make one’s partner happy if, but only if, that happiness involves oneself. It’s past midnight already, yet Rabih is just hitting his stride, knowing there might be objections but sidestepping them nimbly and, in the process, acquiring an ever more brittle sense of self-righteousness. A fourth assumption: monogamy is the natural state of love. A sane person can only ever want to love one other person. Monogamy is the bellwether of emotional health. Is there not, wonders Rabih, an infantile idealism in our wish to find everything in one other being – someone who will be simultaneously a best friend, a lover, a co-parent, a co-chauffeur and a business partner? What a recipe for disappointment and resentment in this notion, upon which millions of otherwise perfectly good marriages regularly founder. What could be more natural than to feel an occasional desire for another person? How can anyone be expected to grow up in hedonistic, liberated circles, experience the sweat and excitement of nightclubs and summer parks, listen to music full of longing and lust and then, immediately upon signing a piece of paper, renounce all outside sexual interest, not in the name of any particular god or higher commandment but merely from an unexplored supposition that it must be very wrong? Is there not instead something inhuman, indeed ‘wrong’, in failing to be tempted, in failing to realize just how short of time we all are and therefore with what urgent curiosity we should want to explore the unique fleshly individuality of more than one of our contemporaries? To moralize against adultery is to deny the legitimacy of a range of sensory high points – Rabih thinks of Lauren’s shoulder blades – in their own way just as worthy of reverence as more acceptable attractions such as the last moments of ‘Hey Jude’ or the ceilings of the Alhambra Palace. Isn’t the rejection of adulterous possibilities tantamount to an infidelity towards the richness of life itself? To turn the equation on its head: would it be rational to trust anyone who wasn’t, under certain circumstances, really pretty interested in being unfaithful?

Grisela and me were doing a damn good job at this co-parenting thing. We had our differences but for the most part, we tried to get along for the sake of our daughter. Pulling

Me and Mega are co-parenting our beautiful twins and things have been going great.

Life felt like it was happening too fast, as though I was on a busy bus that was moving quickly through the streets and I had to have my wits about me so I didn’t miss my stop. I suddenly had to prepare myself for Zandra’s release into the world. Zandra’s nurses were my way of understanding what was happening with my daughter. They had become my sounding board and had in a large way co-parented Zandra and supported us through many rough waters. I felt like I was being abandoned to make way for someone else. My heart began grieving the loss before it even happened.

Imagine three months from now, Bonnie introduces you to a random dude. She's together with him. He'll co-parent as well. He'll marry her." "No fucking way," I exclaimed. Tate widened his eyes. Reese burst out laughing. Luke nodded. "I rest my case.

The best gift that a child can receive from their parents is a happy home and a thriving companionship between them. Of course, in some instances, the parents may choose to go their separate ways. Even so, harmonious co-parenting is still possible when both parents prioritize their child’s wellbeing over their own interests!

Her parents hate that she isn’t married,” Collin told Dr. Joyce. “That’s unfortunate,” Dr. Joyce said. She hastened to add, “I mean, it shouldn’t matter if you’re married or not. What matters is you love each other.” “Oh, we don’t,” Lucie said. “We’re just friends.

Not if you’re roomies with his mother. To say nothing of coparenting. Coparenting takes divorce into the death-and-taxes category. There’s no escaping it.

Maybe the wine went to my head. Maybe the weeks of battling the press had worn me down. For some reason, when the conversation took an unexpected turn, I became touchy. Then angry. Disproportionately, sloppily angry. Meg said something I took the wrong way. It was partly a cultural difference, partly a language barrier, but I was also just over-sensitive that night. I thought: Why’s she having a go at me? I snapped at her, spoke to her harshly—cruelly. As the words left my mouth, I could feel everything in the room come to a stop. The gravy stopped bubbling, the molecules of air stopped orbiting. Even Nina Simone seemed to pause. Meg walked out of the room, disappearing for a full fifteen minutes. I went and found her upstairs. She was sitting in the bedroom. She was calm, but said in a quiet, level tone that she would never stand for being spoken to like that. I nodded. She wanted to know where it came from. I don’t know. Where did you ever hear a man speak like that to a woman? Did you overhear adults speak that way when you were growing up? I cleared my throat, looked away. Yes. She wasn’t going to tolerate that kind of partner. Or co-parent. That kind of life. She wasn’t going to raise children in an atmosphere of anger or disrespect. She laid it all out, super-clear. We both knew my anger hadn’t been caused by anything to do with our conversation. It came from somewhere deep inside, somewhere that needed to be excavated, and it was obvious that I could use some help with the job.

Mediators will naively suggest you craft a solution together, leaving you even more frustrated—again, the legal, judicial, and social service systems rarely recognize the phenomenon or impact of toxic coparenting—and this negotiation and renegotiation process can leave you feeling revictimized and even traumatized.

Doctor: You need to eliminate your stressors. It's not looking good. Me: How exactly do I do that when I must see my stressor daily.

Today, we expect our intimate partner to be our lover, best friend, confidant, coparent, and sometimes business partner. Some have argued that perhaps our divorce rate is so high because we actually have overburdened marriage with unrealistic and overly romantic expectations (Coontz 2006).

narcissist may often lie yet accuse you of lying, no matter the proof you show to know he is wrong. He may feel as if everyone is out to get him, and they always get the short end of the stick, so he projects his subconscious beliefs on you by accusing you of plotting schemes against him every time there is a simple misunderstanding.

The Narcissist Will Make You Feel Worthless After hanging out with a narcissist for a while, you will notice that when you have any disagreement or argument, his first instinct is to dismiss you in a way that makes you feel worthless.

It's not easy to recognize how to handle a mentally unstable ex-partner. Many people will tell you to walk away, but sometimes it's not that easy. There may be legal obligations or shared children and family and community ties that make it challenging to leave them. If you've experienced abuse, there is the added complication that the abusive partner will often rely on you for emotional support and material support, even after they have mistreated you.

Not everything your partner is feeling must make sense to you. Learn to be compassionate even when you do not understand them. Compassion is part of being human. Acknowledging the other person's fears and insecurities does not hurt you.

You may be kind, decent and a lovely human being but the narcissist will pick the tiniest negative and amplify it for their own gain (and your destruction). Be in the know and wise.

Sure, the sky is gray, and there are lots of clouds, and things aren't sunny right now. But these clouds have some silver linings, meaning something good is just around the corner. And even though it's about to rain, I'll see the rain as a force washing everything away and giving me a fresh start instead of thinking it's here to ruin everything I've worked for.

You do not have to be a couple to parent your children together,

Realize that narcissists are looking for admirers, not partners. And, for your information, the admirer needs to show obedience. The only value you have for a person with NPD is someone who tells him how great he is to feed his ravenous ego. You, your feelings, and your desires don't count.

It plays in your mind like a mantra, the self-affirmation reminding you that going in the right direction will be worth it. It should be so easy—why stay with someone who has no empathy, care, or kindness towards you and wants to see you suffer? Yet, it is not as easy as it seems, hence why you need to repeat statements such as this.  It is one detail that many people don't tell you when taking steps to divorce a narcissist. You need mantras or affirmation-like statements to keep you on the course, remind you that this is in your best interests and that it will be worth it in the end. The psychological, mental, and emotional abuse and trauma you have suffered are real, and regardless of how many times you have been gaslighted or made to appear crazy, in the wrong, or losing the plot, you know the truth in the core of your cells. Being with a narcissist is entirely detrimental to your health.

You deal with an emotionally deficient individual who refuses to acknowledge his shortcomings or apologize for past mistakes, but you're also co-parenting now.

The process of co-parenting with a narcissistic ex can be challenging. It's hard for both parents to rebuild trust; it's easy for the children to question your motivations; therefore, the situation is costly, not only from lack of money going into a giant pot but also from all the therapy that needs to be done. Yet, despite the money, time, and energy to invest, it's still worth doing.

Their past traumas and experiences have crafted them into a person with such anxiety that the line between nervousness and abandonment has morphed and blurred into an individualistic focus. In that context, the admiration they are constantly seeking is due to Their inner mental conflicts rooted in a possible lonely and unloved childhood.

Co-parenting with Johnecia turned out to be a wonderful experience for everyone.

The one thing I did know was we had to have a conversation about him and the bitch Brittany, because I know while I was away they had something going on. Which is way more than them just co-parenting.

I’m saying that I want to be in your life and Miles’s life, not just as a co-parent, but as more if you’ll have me.” “Rowan.” I felt the tears building in my eyes before I could stop them. “I love you, Tessa Monte. I bleed for you.

Then don’t be the thirsty, desperate bitch. Go at his ass calm, cool, and collected; something he won’t expect. Play the nice, no drama chick who just wants to co-parent. Trust me when I say his chick wouldn’t be able to stand that shit. They’ll start beefing in their household and you’ll start to be his safety net.

Zero Empathy It has already been mentioned but it still can’t be stressed enough. Narcissists have zero empathy, meaning that they also feel no remorse for their evil deeds. They are egocentric, never apologize, don’t know how to apologize; are expert story- tellers, present themselves as having high morals, are untruthful and manipulative, have superficial charm and an imposed sense of (false/ fake) social grace or philosophy, and feign like, love or care to get what they want. They can make themselves appear as the hero with superior morality when in reality they are evil, heartless and cold inside. An extreme narcissist truly has no shame or problem with ruining someone else’s life.

DComply is a resource to pay child support online and assist with all of your co-parenting child expense tracking needs. As you know, sharing expenses as a coparent can get a bit complicated. For this reason and many others, DComply is a great resource and a super easy app for you and your co parent to download and enjoy today!

For some people relationships are not necessarily the place where they encounter their best selves. Actually, the person that they are in a relationship is not the person that they want to be or that they can be in other areas of life, they feel there are other possibilities that they’d like to explore. And you know I think getting into a relationship with someone, asking someone to be with you is a pretty cruel thing to do to someone that you love and admire and respect because the job is so hard, most people fail at it, you know when you ask somebody to marry you, for example, you are asking someone to be your chauffer, co-host, sexual partner, co-parent, fellow accountant, mop the kitchen floor together etc. No wonder that we fail at some of the tasks, and get irate with one another, it’s a burden. And I think sometimes, you know, the older I get, sometimes I think the nicest thing you can do to someone you really admire is leave them alone, just let them go, let them be, don’t impose yourself on them, because you’re challenging.

This journey has led me to Pause and Think about my new role as a mom, an ex-wife, and a co-parent with a convicted felon and registered sex offender. To think about who I want to be as a survivor. I was powerless over what happened to me, but I had a choice to be thoughtful in what I did next. I didn’t want to live as a victim. I didn’t want to be angry or bitter or vengeful. So I continuously work to Act in a way that supports my life, by practicing being Thoughtfully Fit and by picking up the pieces when I falter. And I falter often. I still have lots of ups and downs, but I’m better today than I was yesterday.

Mientras anarquistas y socialistas se desgastaban tratando de copar la dirección obrera, se produce en 1902 la huelga de peones del Mercado de Frutos, que arrastra solidariamente a numerosos gremios. El gobierno de Roca apelará a la fuerza: hay una dura represión y se declara el estado de sitio. La prensa atribuye lo que llama “agitaciones subversivas” a provocadores extranjeros. Por iniciativa del autor de Juvenilia, Miguel Cané, senador por la Capital desde 1898, se dicta la ley 4144, llamada “de Residencia”, por la que el gobierno podía expulsar a todo extranjero que “comprometiese la seguridad nacional o perturbase el orden público” en cuarenta y ocho horas.

I’m having a baby.” Cue the pregnant pause––pun intended. On the other side of the pond, my brother’s confused expression says it all. “With who?” “I don’t know.” “Jesus, you don’t know who the father is? How many people are you dating?” “Shut up. I’m not pregnant yet. I’m searching for a man to share parental responsibility.” “What?” “Co-parenting. We legally share a child.” “Like a sperm donor?” He looks unhappy with this turn of events. As much as I love my brother, and I do, he’s a total caveman when it suits him. “I’ll volunteer my sperm,” a deep voice shouts in the background. Alex turns in the direction of the voice. “Not if I stuff your nuts down your throat first, Hayes. That’s my baby sister you’re talking about.” “By a minute,” I feel the need to clarify. “You’re still my baby sister.” 

Motherhood is the last area in which the qualities we usually value - rationality, independent thinking, consulting our own best interests, planning for a better, more prosperous future, and dare I say it, pursuing happiness and dreams - are condemned as frivolity and selfishness. We certainly don't expect a man who impregnates a woman to drop everything and accept a life of difficulties and dimmed hopes in order to co-parent a baby. No college for you, young man - maybe you can pick up some courses later, when your child is in school. If a woman wants to put a baby up for adoption, we don't badger and humiliate the biological father into taking the child to keep it connected to its family of origin. We don't even legally require a man who impregnates a woman to support her financially through pregnancy and delivery, although lack of money is one reason women give for choosing abortion, and stress during pregnancy is a significant cause of miscarriage and premature delivery. As for child support, few single mothers can expect the father of their child to pay anything remotely like half the true costs of raising it to adulthood, even if he is financially able to do so. We don't like the idea that a man might be severely constrained for life by a single ejaculation. He has places to go and things to do. That a woman's life may be stunted by unwanted childbearing is not so troubling. Childbearing, after all, is what women are for.

The upside is, she’s a great mom and I respect the hell out of her. Not many people could co-parent the way we do. But dear god, please don’t make me stay home and play Scrabble in my matching Christmas jammies beneath the sign on the mantel that says Live Laugh Love.

Where I go and what I do, no longer concerns you. I will always be respectful to you because I have love for you, and you're the mother of my child. But just so we're clear, YOU set the stage for this show, baby. I think you said the only thing between us was co-parenting. This, baby girl, is what co-parenting feels like,” he said to me and walked away. The tears fell from my eyes and I had truly fucked up. Once I cleaned my face, I went back to join the ladies in the kitchen.

He was determined that his bit was going to win over my mum’s bit, which is at least half of successful co-parenting.