Consequences Funny Quotes

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You know the funny thing about regrets?" Jordan said, his eyes full of mischief. "You don't know you're going to have them until afterwards.
Lynette Noni (Vardaesia (The Medoran Chronicles, #5))
Things were always stranger in retrospect, which was a funny little consequence of time.
Olivie Blake (Alone With You in the Ether)
A funny thing happened to the First Amendment on its way to the public forum. According to the Supreme Court, money is now speech and corporations are now people. But when real people without money assemble to express their dissatisfaction with the political consequences of this, they’re treated as public nuisances and evicted.
Robert B. Reich
I suppose I should start in the beginning—March 2010. No, that wasn’t when I was born. It was when I began to live. Most people think I’m crazy—maybe I am. You see I began to live the day my life was taken away. Funny, I don’t remember how it happened. I do know now, it never could’ve been stopped.
Aleatha Romig (Revealed: The Missing Years (Consequences, #4))
Nothing is insignificant; nothing is without consequence in the intricate web of life.  
Ruskin Bond (Funny Side Up)
I don't want any funny business, and above all I don't want to be dragged into other people's funny business. If it's to be my head on the block, I want to know that it's doing there, and not that it's some stupid things that other people have done.
Hans Fallada (Every Man Dies Alone)
If Feyre can't be bothered to listen to orders, then I can't be held accountable for the consequences." "Accountable?" I sputtered, placing my hands flat on the table. "You cornered me in the hall like a wolf with a rabbit!" Lucien propped an arm on the table and covered his mouth with has hand, his russet eye bright. "While I might have been not myself, Lucien and I both told you to stay in your room," Tamlin said, so calmly that I wanted to rip out my hair. I couldn't help it. Didn't even try to fight the red-hot temper that razed my senses. "Faerie pig!" I yelled, and Lucien howled, almost tipping back in his chair. At the sight of Tamlin's growing smile, I left.
Sarah J. Maas
The stopped time of a painting, say, or the drawn-out minutes and compressed years of a novel, in which it is possible to see patterns and consequences that are otherwise invisible.
Olivia Laing (Funny Weather: Art in an Emergency)
Nellie Fuller was racing down the stairs as we returned to the hallway, nearly tripping over her tripod in her haste. "I heard a noise," she said. "Have I already missed all of the excitement?" "Nothing of consequence," answered Jackaby. "Stay indoors, however, unless you're enthusiastic about the prospect of being eviscerated.
William Ritter (Beastly Bones (Jackaby, #2))
The Young Girl knows everything as devoid of consequences, even her own suffering. Everything is funny, nothing's a big deal. Everything is cool, nothing is serious.
Tiqqun (Preliminary Materials for a Theory of the Young-Girl)
New Rule: Just because a country elects a smart president doesn't make it a smart country. A couple of weeks ago, I was asked on CNN if I thought Sarah Palin could get elected president, and I said I hope not, but I wouldn't put anything past this stupid country. Well, the station was flooded with emails, and the twits hit the fan. And you could tell that these people were really mad, because they wrote entirely in CAPITAL LETTERS!!! Worst of all, Bill O'Reilly refuted my contention that this is a stupid country by calling me a pinhead, which (a) proves my point, and (b) is really funny coming from a doody-face like him. Now, before I go about demonstration how, sadly, easy it is to prove the dumbness that's dragging us down, let me just say that ignorance has life-and-death consequences. On the eve of the Iraq War, seventy percent of Americans thought Saddam Hussein was personally involved in 9/11. Six years later, thirty-four percent still do. Or look at the health-care debate: At a recent town hall meeting in South Carolina, a man stood up and told his congressman to "keep your government hands off my Medicare," which is kind of like driving cross-country to protest highways. This country is like a college chick after two Long Island iced teas: We can be talked into anything, like wars, and we can be talked out of anything, like health care. We should forget the town halls, and replace them with study halls. Listen to some of these stats: A majority of Americans cannot name a single branch of government, or explain what the Bill of Rights is. Twenty-four percent could not name the country America fought in the Revolutionary War. More than two-thirds of Americans don't know what's in Roe v. Wade. Two-thirds don't know what the Food and Drug Administration does. Some of this stuff you should be able to pick up simply by being alive. You know, like the way the Slumdog kid knew about cricket. Not here. Nearly half of Americans don't know that states have two senators, and more than half can't name their congressman. And among Republican governors, only three got their wife's name right on the first try. People bitch and moan about taxes and spending, but they have no idea what their government spends money on. The average voter thinks foreign aid consumes more twenty-four percent of our budget. It's actually less than one percent. A third of Republicans believe Obama is not a citizen ad a third of Democrats believe that George Bush had prior knowledge of the 9/11 attacks, which is an absurd sentence, because it contains the words "Bush" and "knowledge." Sarah Palin says she would never apologize for America. Even though a Gallup poll say eighteen percent of us think the sun revolves around the earth. No, they're not stupid. They're interplanetary mavericks. And I haven't even brought up religion. But here's one fun fact I'll leave you with: Did you know only about half of Americans are aware that Judaism is an older religion than Christianity? That's right, half of America looks at books called the Old Testament and the New Testament and cannot figure out which came first. I rest my case.
Bill Maher (The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass)
Life is lived through things which are not true. We pretend ourselves foolish in order to show our wisdom. We find things funny, which are sad. We smile at those who we would destroy, make alliances with those we do not respect, admire ourselves for our intellect and always look for the ultimate prize. We would be great, every one of us, and to achieve greatness do not bother to look at those we have destroyed in our path. A game is all of this and more, and nobler, for those who play at last transcend themselves, and see both the consequences of their choices, and the board as a whole. I do not think there is a nobler calling than the game, and I would have you a part of it.)
Claire North (The Serpent (The Gameshouse, #1))
Mzatal gave a decisive nod. “I will manage this. It cannot continue to interfere with his work. Too much is at stake.” I raised an eyebrow. “How do you intend to manage it?” “I will tell him the truth and outline the consequences.” I was surprised Mzatal didn’t shrivel away from the look I gave him. “Dude. Seriously? You expect him to stop crushing on me because you forbid it?” Mzatal frowned, contemplative. “Perhaps not ideal given the entanglement of human emotions, though there is no time for it to drag on,” he said, as if he actually knew what he was talking about. “If he knows you have no interest and sees how his distractions have affected his work, he will subside enough for now.” My withering look became glacial. “Boss, you’re completely awesome in many ways, but you are so off-base with this it’s not even funny.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ve already ramped ‘No Interest’ up to eleven on the dial and, at this point, he doesn’t care if his work suffers.” I took a big gulp of coffee, then ran my fingers through my tangled hair. “Let me deal with it. Normally I’m not into direct confrontation with this sort of shit, but there’s isn’t enough time for it to fizzle out on its own.” Mzatal regarded me with that damned unreadable mask which he’d slipped on as I was talking. Great. Lords weren’t much on being told they were wrong, but it had to be said.
Diana Rowland (Touch of the Demon (Kara Gillian, #5))
So go after her." This from Colton. "And say what? 'Choose me! Stay with me!' She's left me twice guys! She's not coming back." Max sighed and kicked a box in my direction, then reached out and patted my hand. Aw, he was comforting me. That was nice of him to - "What the hell!?" I screamed, as Max slapped me across the face - twice! Then pulled his fist back as if he was going to beat the shit out of me.
Rachel Van Dyken (The Consequence of Rejection (Consequence, #4))
The first date is crucial! You are never right on the first date. You are never smarter than her, better looking or funnier. You are simply honored to be sitting at the same table as her. When you pick her up, you get down on one knee and bow your head in humble adoration. Whatever the hell it takes to get her to get into the car without having to hit her over the head and drag her caveman style. " "Because if that doesn't land you in prison.
Rachel Van Dyken (The Consequence of Seduction (Consequence, #3))
Which mirror now, Ms. Lane?” He glanced around the white room, scanning the ten mirrors. “Fourth from the left. Jericho.” I was sick of him calling me Ms. Lane. I picked myself up off the white floor. Once again the Silver had spit me out with entirely too much enthusiasm, and I didn’t even have the stones on me. I didn’t have anything but the spear in my holster, a protein bar, two flashlights, and a bottle of Unseelie in my pockets. “You don’t have the right to call me Jericho.” “Why? Because we haven’t been intimate enough? I’ve had sex with you in every possible position, killed you, fed you my blood in the hopes that it would bring you back to life, crammed Unseelie into your stomach, and tried to rearrange your guts. I’d say that’s pretty personal. How much more intimate do we have to get for you to feel comfortable with me calling you Jericho? Jericho.” I expected him to pounce on the sex-in-every-possible-position comment, but he only said. “You fed me your—” I pushed into the mirror, cutting him off. Like the first one, it resisted me, then grabbed me and squirted me out on the other side. His voice preceded his arrival. “You bloody fool, do you never stop to consider the consequences of your actions?” He barreled out of the mirror behind me. “Of course I do,” I said coolly. “There’s always plenty of time to consider the consequences. After I’ve screwed up.” “Funny girl, aren’t you, Ms. Lane?” “Sure am. Jericho. It’s Mac. I’m Mac. No more fake formality between us. Get with the program or get the hell out of here.” His dark eyes flared. “Big talk. Ms. Lane. Try to enforce it.” Challenge burned in his gaze. I sauntered toward him. He watched me coldly and I was reminded of the other night, when I’d pretended to be coming on to him, because I was angry. He thought I was doing it again. I wasn’t. Being in the White Mansion with him was doing something strange to me. Unraveling all my inhibitions, as if these walls had no tolerance for lies, or within them there was no need.
Karen Marie Moning (Shadowfever (Fever, #5))
Who the hell do you think you are?” your darkest interior voices will demand. “It’s funny you should ask,” you can reply. “I’ll tell you who I am: I am a child of God, just like anyone else. I am a constituent of this universe. I have invisible spirit benefactors who believe in me, and who labor alongside me. The fact that I am here at all is evidence that I have the right to be here. I have a right to my own voice and a right to my own vision. I have a right to collaborate with creativity, because I myself am a product and a consequence of Creation.
Elizabeth Gilbert (Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear)
How did Max even know of Ethel? It's not like I talked about my long time nemesis around the dinner table. Maybe it had been Milo or Colt who blabbed about how Ethel had hated me since I was born. She was the nurse who delivered me! And shit you not, told my parents that I was gonna be a tyrant because I peed on her. I was three minutes old, lady! Give me a break! Babies pee! Correction... not Max. Max's first sentence was probably "And the shall name me Max and I shall rule the world!" AHH!!
Rachel Van Dyken
You really need to stop reading Max's book! Nothing he says in that damn thing is even remotely true!" Damn Max for writing a best seller on how to get women and what not to do! Guess which part of the book I'm not in? No really, guess. Let's just say, I had a brief moment where I thought of changing my name and moving to Canada!
Rachel Van Dyken (The Consequence of Rejection (Consequence, #4))
I spread my arms wide to anyone who would listen. "Yes! She was my first everything. And now she's nothing to me! You hear me!? Nothing!" The room fell quiet. The front door of the police station closed, and wouldn't you know, there stood Maddie. Holding a freaking sign that said: Vote Max! I'm only running because I wanted to make a sign! Hell, at this rate he was gonna get voted President and create a notional holiday where everyone had to walk around without pants!
Rachel Van Dyken (The Consequence of Rejection (Consequence, #4))
What's wrong with his foot?" Said Reed. "Why even ask? It's Jason we're talking about here. He get's injured by breathing." Colt chuckled. I grit my teeth. "That was one time and the doctor said it could happen to anyone." "I googled it!" Max said helpfully. "It happens to llamas. And those dodo birds - the really stupid ones.
Rachel Van Dyken (The Consequence of Rejection (Consequence, #4))
I was about to start breaking out the "bloody hells!" and I wasn't even British! See! She was driving me crazy! I was officially changing nationalities! Her hand slipped. I swear it had to have slipped because she was actually now almost cupping a feel! OOOOOOH CANADA!!!
Rachel Van Dyken (The Consequence of Revenge (Consequence, #2))
I’m taking you to Iberia General.” “No, you’re not. Whatever is in my chest is going to stay in my chest. Listen to me, Dave. At a certain point in your life, you accept the consequences of your choices, and you play the hand out. I’m not going to have anybody cutting on me or sticking tubes down my throat or injecting radium into my bloodstream. If I catch the bus with an eggnog and Hennessy in my hand, that’s the way it flushes.” “Hospitals are bad, and eggnog and booze are good. Do you know how dumb that sounds?” “That’s the only way I know how to think.” “It’s not funny.
James Lee Burke (Creole Belle (Dave Robicheaux, #19))
Who the hell do you think you are?” your darkest interior voices will demand. “It’s funny you should ask,” you can reply. “I’ll tell you who I am: I am a child of God, just like anyone else. I am a constituent of this universe. I have invisible spirit benefactors who believe in me, and who labor alongside me. The fact that I am here at all is evidence that I have the right to be here. I have a right to my own voice and a right to my own vision. I have a right to collaborate with creativity, because I myself am a product and a consequence of Creation. I’m on a mission of artistic liberation, so let the girl go.
Elizabeth Gilbert (Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear)
What does 'chef' mean?" "Uh, 'chief,'" he replies. "That's right. Chief. The person in charge. I have just been appointed executive chef, which means I'm the number one in charge here, and I'm now announcing that a few things are going to change. First off- Paul, listen up here- we will treat each other with respect. So that means no more names that you pretend to think are cute and funny but that we all know are incredibly shitty. If I hear anyone throwing around racial or ethnic or sexist slurs, there will be consequences. And those consequences may or may not include me pinning your willie to that bulletin board." She gestures to the corkboard where schedules and messages are posted. A few of the men in the crowd wince.
Brianne Moore (All Stirred Up)
How can I define white privilege? It’s so difficult to describe an absence. And white privilege is an absence of the negative consequences of racism. An absence of structural discrimination, an absence of your race being viewed as a problem first and foremost, an absence of ‘less likely to succeed because of my race’. It is an absence of funny looks directed at you because you’re believed to be in the wrong place, an absence of cultural expectations, an absence of violence enacted on your ancestors because of the colour of their skin, an absence of a lifetime of subtle marginalisation and othering – exclusion from the narrative of being human.
Reni Eddo-Lodge (Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race)
We've been through this, Orm. Orks have no... reproductive anatomy, and consequently no understanding of sex or gender.' 'Some of us understand sexangender', interrupted Biter, keen as ever to demonstrate their unusual expertise in humans. 'I find it all... quite funny.
Nate Crowley (Ghazghkull Thraka: Prophet of the Waaagh! (Warhammer 40,000))
You look... refreshed,' Lucien observed with a glance at Tamlin. I shrugged. 'Sleep well?' 'Like a babe.' I smiled at him and took another bite of food, and felt Lucien's eyes travel inexorably to my neck. 'What is that bruise?' Lucien demanded. I pointed with my fork at Tamlin. 'Ask him. He did it.' Lucien looked from Tamlin to me and then back again. 'Why does Feyre have a bruise on her neck from you?' he asked with no small amount of amusement. 'I bit her,' Tamlin said, not pausing as he cut his steak. 'We ran into each other in the hall after the Rite.' I straightened in my chair. 'She seems to have a death wish,' he went on, cutting his meat. The claws stayed retracted but pushed against the skin above his knuckles. My throat closed up. Oh, he was mad- furious at my foolishness for leaving my room- but somehow managed to keep his anger on a tight, tight leash. 'So, if Feyre can't be bothered to listen to orders, then I can't be held accountable for the consequences.' 'Accountable?' I sputtered, placing my hands flat on the table. 'You cornered me in the hall like a wolf with a rabbit!' Lucien propped an arm on the table and covered his mouth with his hand, his russet eye bright. 'While I might not have been myself, Lucien and I both told you to stay in your room,' Tamlin said, so calmly that I wanted to rip out my hair. I couldn't help it. Didn't even try to fight the red-hot temper that razed my senses. 'Faerie pig!' I yelled, and Lucien howled, almost tipping back in his chair. At the sight of Tamlin's growing smile, I left. It took me a couple of hours to stop painting little portraits of Tamlin and Lucien with pigs' features. But as I finished the last one- Two faerie pigs wallowing in their own filth, I would call it- I smiled into the clear, bright light of my private painting room. The Tamlin I knew had returned. And it made me... happy.
Sarah J. Maas (A Court of Thorns and Roses (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #1))
You look... refreshed,' Lucien observed with a glance at Tamlin. I shrugged. 'Sleep well?' 'Like a babe.' I smiled at him and took another bite of food, and felt Lucien's eyes travel inexorably to my neck. 'What is that bruise?' Lucien demanded. I pointed with my fork at Tamlin. 'Ask him. He did it.' Lucien looked from Tamlin to me and then back again. 'Why does Feyre have a bruise on her neck from you?' he asked with no small amount of amusement. 'I bit her,' Tamlin said, not pausing as he cut his steak. 'We ran into each other in the hall after the Rite.' I straightened in my chair. 'She seems to have a death wise,' he went on, cutting his meat. The claws stayed retracted but pushed against the skin above his knuckles. My throat closed up. Oh, he was mad- furious at my foolishness for leaving my room- but somehow managed to keep his anger on a tight, tight leash. 'So, if Feyre can't be bothered to listen to orders, then I can't be held accountable for the consequences.' 'Accountable?' I sputtered, placing my hands flat on the table. 'You cornered me in the hall like a wolf with a rabbit!' Lucien propped an arm on the table and covered his mouth with his hand, his russet eye bright. 'While I might not have been myself, Lucien and I both told you to stay in your room,' Tamlin said, so calmly that I wanted to rip out my hair. I couldn't help it. Didn't even try to fight the red-hot temper that razed my senses. 'Faerie pig!' I yelled, and Lucien howled, almost tipping back in his chair. At the sight of Tamlin's growing smile, I left. It took me a couple of hours to stop painting little portraits of Tamlin and Lucien with pigs' features. But as I finished the last one- Two faerie pigs wallowing in their own filth, I would call it- I smiled into the clear, bright light of my private painting room. The Tamlin I knew had returned. And it made me... happy.
Sarah J. Maas (A Court of Thorns and Roses (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #1))
Funny, how a choice I made out of a small infatuation led to a turn in my life’s trajectory. We were probably at that strange age when seemingly inconsequential decisions could have major consequences.
Snehil Niharika (That’ll Be Our Song)
Once your heart is in it, it’s ride or die, no matter the consequences.
Max Monroe (Accidental Attachment (It's A Funny Story #1))
You must be new to DSI.” “Graduated two weeks ago. What gave me away?” I mimic her smile. “The fresh, handsome face, or the fact that I didn’t slip a knife out of my belt when I walked in, wary of you getting funny ideas?” She raises her hands in a mocking gesture of peace. “Both, if you must know. New Crows always have this air of undue confidence hanging around them. Think they can take on the magic world with a .45 and a few fake magic rings, defeat the big bad monsters, play the valiant knights. But they learn real quick, most of them, the truth of the matter. That—” “The world of monsters and mayhem can’t be controlled by mortal hands.” My voice drops two octaves. “Don’t mistake my inexperience for naïveté, witch.” The woman shifts backward a step, and I sense a stream of magic building in her palms. A faint aura forms around her hands, an earthy green hue. A sign she’s preparing to attack. I respond by activating my beggar rings with a simple mental command, Build. My fingers begin to grow warm as the rings absorb the energy in the air around me. There’s a bit more than usual—a consequence of being in the presence of a magic user
Clara Coulson (Soul Breaker (City of Crows, #1))
It is funny, how uneducated many of our kind are.” Blood burst from her eyes, and I watched her, transfixed. “Yet, even those who are wise beyond their years fall back to their younger days; uncaring of the consequences, reckless, seeing everything as if it was a game to be won, a grab at power play. I have watched all of you struggle to be civilize and to coexist with others. It is hard, is it not?” She smiled, and I held back a shudder. “To be something that you are not?” She washed the blood off her hands and face and shut off the water. Her eyes were still red as she reached for a washcloth. After drying off, she set it on the sink and got to her feet. She stepped toward me, placing her hands on my shoulders and turning me around. “We all have a demon inside us.
Alina Meuangkhot (Blood Price (The Night Stalker Crew, #9))
A little of an over-exaggeration, don’t you think?” He was clearly as unnerved by her outburst as me. “But I missed so much. Just let me be dramatic for once.” “You’re dramatic ninety-nine per cent of the time,” Sin told her when he returned. “And you took the consequences for your bullshit. Behave yourself, woman!
Adam A. Fox (A Sinful Sacrifice)
Funny how often divinities are found to agree with the actions mortals most desire. It is a trait I have often noted, and would find annoying if it wasn’t so often quaintly delightful in its unexpected consequences.
Claire North (House of Odysseus (The Songs of Penelope, #2))
It’s funny how things work out, isn’t it? I mean, it’s like dominoes—you touch one and then the others start to go, and sometimes they fall in the right direction and one person knows another and it all opens up like a flower.
Jacqueline Winspear (The Consequences of Fear (Maisie Dobbs, #16))
His answer was not what we expected, and we burst into even more laughter. Lucy reached across the table to give Sai a playful slap, but it was all in fun. The game continued in the same vein. Each of the Truths and Dares was funny and harmless, so much so that no one felt the need to Skip. When it was Damon’s turn to spin the bottle, it pointed at Liam. “Truth or Dare, Liam?” Damon asked
Katrina Kahler (GIRL GANG: Book 6: Consequences)
Back on the Enterprise, Riker heads into the holodeck to meet up with Data, who we learn can’t whistle like a human, wants to be human, and is consequently called “Pinocchio” by Riker. The whole bit really wants to be sweet and a little funny, but it ends up being kind of lame.
Wil Wheaton (Memories of the Future - Volume 1)
Where’s my cell phone?” I ask. “And please put a shirt on.” He reaches down and grabs my phone off the floor. “Why?” “The reason I need my cell,” I say as I take it from him, “is to call a cab and the reason I want you to put a shirt on is, well, because, um…” “You’ve never seen a guy with his shirt off?” “Ha, ha. Very funny. Believe me, you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.” “Wanna bet?” he says, then moves his hands to the button on his jeans and pops it open. Isabel walks in at that exact moment. “Whoa, Alex. Please keep your pants on.” When she looks over at me I put my hands up. “Don’t look at me. I was just about to call a cab when he--” Shaking her head while Alex buttons back up, she walks to her purse and picks up a set of keys. “Forget the cab. I’ll drive you home.” “I’ll drive her,” Alex cuts in. Isabel seems exhausted dealing with us, similar to how Mrs. Peterson looks during chemistry class. “Would you rather me drive you, or Alex?” she asks. I have a boyfriend. Okay, so I admit every time I catch Alex looking at me a warmth spreads through my body. But it’s normal. We’re two teenagers with obvious sexual tension passing between us. As long as I never act on it, everything will be just fine. Because if I ever did act on it, the consequences would be disastrous. I’d lose Colin. I’d lose my friends. I’d lose the control I have over my life. Most of all, I’d lose what’s left of my mother’s love. If I’m not seen as perfect, what happened yesterday with my mom would seem tame. Being perfect to the outside world equates to how my mom treats me. If any of her country club friends see me out with Alex, my mom might as well be an outcast too. If she’s shunned by her friends, I’ll be shunned by her. I can’t take that chance. This is as real as I can afford to get. “Isabel, take me home,” I say, then look at Alex. He gives a small shake of his head, grabs his shirt and keys, and storms out the front door without another word.
Simone Elkeles (Perfect Chemistry (Perfect Chemistry, #1))