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I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.
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Jon Katz
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It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.
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John Joseph Powell (The Secret of Staying in Love)
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We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.
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William James
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A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.
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Lois Wyse
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The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers & cities; but to know someone who thinks & feels with us, & who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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The moon will guide you through the night with her brightness, but she will always dwell in the darkness, in order to be seen.
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Shannon L. Alder
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If you don't understand, ask questions. If you're uncomfortable about asking questions, say you are uncomfortable about asking questions and then ask anyway. It's easy to tell when a question is coming from a good place. Then listen some more. Sometimes people just want to feel heard. Here's to possibilities of friendship and connection and understanding.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Americanah)
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Friends ask you questions; enemies question you.
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Criss Jami (Healology)
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Soul connections are not often found and are worth every bit of fight left in you to keep.
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Shannon L. Alder
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Soulmate" is an overused term, but a true soul connection is very rare, and very real.
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Hilary Duff (Devoted (Elixir, #2))
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When two people respect each other, the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy and friendship.
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David D. Burns
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The lifelong friends, he said. We sometimes wait a lifetime for them.
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Ali Smith (Autumn (Seasonal Quartet, #1))
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At the end of the day your ability to connect with your readers comes down to how you make them feel.
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Benjamin J. Carey (Barefoot in November)
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Loneliness is a hard thing to handle. I feel it, sometimes. When I do, I want it to end. Sometimes, when you're near someone, when you touch them on some level that is deeper than the uselessly structured formality of casual civilized interaction, there's a sense of satisfaction in it. Or at least, there is for me. It doesn't have to be someone particularly nice. You don't have to like them. You don't even have to want to work with them. You might even want to punch them in the nose. Sometimes just making that connection is its own experience, its own reward.
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Jim Butcher (White Night (The Dresden Files, #9))
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Encourage, lift and strengthen one another. For the positive energy spread to one will be felt by us all. For we are connected, one and all.
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Deborah Day
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Time is too swift for those who fear, too long for those who wait, too short for those who finally find peace, but for those who love, time is eternal. For nothing is ever lost that God wants you to find.
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Shannon L. Alder
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Friends are not a number. You can't collect connections. You can't just go out one day and be like, "Hey, I need some friends!" *goes shopping, scours social media*
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Connor Franta (A Work in Progress)
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If you truly loved someone you won't become their enemy. You will become their guardian angel.
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Shannon L. Alder
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Itโs the people we hardly know, and not our closest friends, who will improve our lives most dramatically
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Meg Jay (The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter - And How to Make the Most of Them Now)
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People are opportunities. The gift is in the interaction and the connection with another person, whether it lasts forever or not.
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Colleen Seifert
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After listening and getting to know more about you. Also, feeling a deep connection between us that goes beyond physical attraction. I'm beginning to feel for, so much more than the friendship that I waited to grow with you. I'm not going to try and rush things. However, I don't want to wait until it's to late.
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Jonathan Anthony Burkett (Friends 2 Lovers: The Unthinkable (Volume 1))
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Sometimes the bridges you burn light the way out of your darkness, but the memory of the blaze will be burned into your heart and mind forever.
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Shannon L. Alder
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Build me up and I with you. For we are more one than two.
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Deborah Day
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when two aliebns find each other in a strange place, it feels a little more like home.
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Jomny Sun (Everyone's a Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too)
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As an introvert, you crave intimate moments and deep connections--and those usually aren't found in a crowd.
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Jenn Granneman (The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World)
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What is a friend? We probably all have our own definitions. For me, it's someone I don't feel alone with. Who doesn't bore me. Whose life I connect with and who takes reciprocal interest in my life. It's someone I feel comfortable turning to when I need to be talked off the ledge, and for whom I am glad to return the favor.
Just a few people in my life fit that bill.
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Sophia Dembling (The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World (Perigee Book))
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Real relationships are the product of time spent, which is why so many of us have so few of them.
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Craig D. Lounsbrough
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I missed him, of course, but sometimes close friendships have a tidal beat that pulls you towards different shores though the ocean that connects you remains.
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Russell Brand (Booky Wook 2: This Time it's Personal)
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If you cannot wait for time to unearth roots, you must dig.
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Nelou Keramati
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Positive energy is attracted to positive energy.
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Deborah Day
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If you're not happy in life then you need to change, calibrate, readjust...flush your negative energy and fill it with positive energy; How do we do that you might ask? well I would start by making others happy, deseases are not the only thing that spreads easy. We are all connected in some form of unseen energy... think how those around you will impact you and make you feel if they were happy?
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Al Munoz
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You cannot connect with anyone except through reality.
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Stefan Molyneux
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We might not know we are seeking people who best enrich our lives, but somehow on a deep subconscious level we absolutely are. Whether the bond is temporary or permanent, whether it succeeds or fails, fate is simply a configuration of choices that combine with others to shape the relationships that surround us. We cannot choose our family, but we can choose our friends, and we sometimes, before we even meet them.
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Simon Pegg (Nerd Do Well)
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Our happiness is completely and utterly intertwined with other people: family and friends and neighbors and the woman you hardly notice who cleans your office. Happiness is not a noun or verb. It's a conjunction. Connective tissue.
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Eric Weiner (The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World)
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My fear of being real, of being seen, paralyzes me into silence. I crave the touch and the connection, but Iโm not always brave enough to open my hand and reach out. This is the great challenge: to be seen, accepted, and loved, I must first reveal, offer, and surrender.
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รnnรค White (Mended: Thoughts on Life, Love, and Leaps of Faith)
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I grabbed his hand. He jumped and stared at the connection like something both magical and dangerous had happened.
"Do you wanna be friends?" I asked.
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Francesca Zappia (Made You Up)
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Dispassionately, reasonably, he contemplated the failure that his life must appear to be. He had wanted friendship and the closeness of friendship that might hold him in the race of mankind; he had had two friends, one of whom had died senselessly before he was known, the other of whom had now withdrawn so distantly into the ranks of the living that...
He had wanted the singleness and the still connective passion of marriage; he had had that, too, and he had not known what to do with it, and it had died. He had wanted love; and he had had love, and had relinquished it, had let it go into the chaos of potentiality. Katherine, he thought. "Katherine."
And he had wanted to be a teacher, and he had become one; yet he knew, he had always known, that for most of his life he had been an indifferent one. He had dreamed of a kind of integrity, of a kind of purity that was entire; he had found compromise and the assaulting diversion of triviality. He had conceived wisdom, and at the end of the long years he had found ignorance. And what else? he thought. What else?
What did you expect? he asked himself.
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John Williams (Stoner)
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Never invest in any kind of relationship with anyone who is not willing to work on themselves just a little every day. A person who takes no interest in any form of self-improvement, personal development or spiritual growth will also not be inclined to make much of an effort building a truly meaningful connection with you. A relationship with only one partner willing to do the work ceases to be a relationship. And as anyone who has been there will tell you - it's pointless to try and dance the tango solo.
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Anthon St. Maarten
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A friendship where you're always trying to be considerate of the other person, always worrying about what they think, always responding to every single text, always seeking their approval and then finally connecting with them, isn't friendship at all.
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Wataru Watari (ใใฏใไฟบใฎ้ๆฅใฉใใณใกใฏใพใกใใฃใฆใใใ1)
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Friendship is a strange animal. It only thrives in voluntary enjoyment of each other's company, in the pleasure of nonobligatory connection. I repeat: You owe me nothing.
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Kate Christensen (The Astral)
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No matter how lonely and isolated and starved for connection you are, thereโs always the possibility in the online world that you can find a place to be accepted, or discover a friendship thatโs started with the smallest of interests but could last a lifetime.
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Felicia Day (You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost))
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With so many people in the world i am confident in saying, if you connect with someone on a soul level you dont take them for granted.
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Nikki Rowe
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It's not that we want others to fail, but we need to know that our own sorrows have echoes in others people's lives. That's what connects us. Strength may be impressive, but it's vulnerability that builds friendships.
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Jessica Pan (Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert's Year of Living Dangerously)
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Friendship leads to human connection, which feeds your soul. More than kale or spinning or fifteen-minute naps under your desk, conscious communication with your clutch friends is the best form of self-care.
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Karen Kilgariff (Stay Sexy & Don't Get Murdered: The Definitive How-To Guide)
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Distance and time might keep people apart, but the heart and mind will always stay connected by memories, miracles and the power of two unlikely souls that were destined to meet.
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Shannon L. Alder
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Hereโs the truth: friendships between women are often the deepest and most profound love stories, but they are often discussed as if they are ancillary, โbonusโ relationships to the truly important ones. Womenโs friendships outlast jobs, parents, husbands, boyfriends, lovers, and sometimes childrenโฆitโs possible to transcend the limits of your skin in a friendshipโฆThis kind of friendship is not a frivolous connection, a supplementary relationship to the ones weโre taught and told are primary โ spouses, children, parents. It is loveโฆSupport, salvation, transformation, life: this is what women give to one another when they are true friends, soul friends
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Emily Rapp
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Do unto others what you want them to do to you. Donโt deceive if you donโt want to be deceived. Donโt cheat if you donโt want to be cheated. Relationship is mutual. This is the golden rule for all great connections!
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Israelmore Ayivor (Shaping the dream)
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Some people will hear you louder in silence. Those are your tribe - they'll get you through the tough days and give you something to laugh about on the ride.
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Nikki Rowe
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If there is no fate and our interactions depend on such a complex system of chance encounters, what potentially important connections do we fail to make? What life changing relationships or passionate and lasting love affairs are lost to chance?
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Simon Pegg (Nerd Do Well)
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The thing is, I never had a friend like Sohrab before. One who understood me without even trying. Who knew what it was like to be stuck on the outside because of one little thing that set you apart.
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Adib Khorram (Darius the Great Is Not Okay (Darius The Great, #1))
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Every friend was once a stranger and if you know this, you have to understand that conversations are the beginning of connection
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Israelmore Ayivor (Shaping the dream)
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I'm not sure if our friendship is strong enough to survive into next year when weโre away at college. But. We know each other in a way that no one else can. We share a history that makes us permanently connected. So I have to hope for us. All I can do is hope.
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Susane Colasanti (Something Like Fate)
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Secrets make life more interesting. You can be in a crowded room with someone and touch them without touching, just with a look, because they know a part of you no one else knows. And whenever you're with them, the two of you are alone, because the you they see no one else can.
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Mohsin Hamid (Moth Smoke)
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In our opposed forms of loneliness and self-recognition and recognition of the other, we touched each other often as we spoke; and on shore in explorations of the past, we strolled with our arms linked...
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Harold Brodkey (Profane Friendship: A Novel)
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When you invite people to share in your miracle, you create future allies during rough weather.
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Shannon L. Alder
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What is it about friendship that makes being among friends so much richer than being among the most accomplished and interesting strangers?"---Connecting
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Sandy Sheehy
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It is through the strength of what is genuine that meaningful connections build into relationships.
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Michelle Tillis Lederman (11 Laws of Likability)
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For you see, when us people who know run into each other that's an event. It almost never happens. Sometimes we meet each other and neither guesses that the other is one who knows. That's a bad thing. It's happened to me a lot of times. But you see there are so few of us.
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Carson McCullers (The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter)
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Over the last few days, I have been able to see my life as from a great altitude, as a sort of landscape, and with a deepening sense of the connection of all its parts. This does not mean I am finished with life. On the contrary, I feel intensely alive, and I want and hope in the time that remains to deepen my friendships, to say farewell to those I love, to write more, to travel if I have the strength, to achieve new levels of understanding and insight.
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Oliver Sacks (Gratitude: Essays)
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It's taken years for me to understand that dying doesn't end the story; it transforms it. Edits, rewrites, the blur, aand epiphany of one-way dialogue. Most of us wander in and out of one another's lives until not death, but distance, does us part-- time and space and heart's weariness are the blander executioners or human connection.
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Gail Caldwell (Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship)
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A connection is an essential ingreidient in any healthy physical relationship.
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C. Nzingha Smith (Lust Have Recipes, Aphrodisiac Cookbook)
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Build me up and I with you. For we are more one than two.
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Deborah Day
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No connection can ever be broken if love holds tight at both ends.
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Shannon L. Alder
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You may have fallen down, but you can get back up again. You may have doors shut, but new doors will open for you. You may have been lied on, but the truth will come to the light. You may have been hurt, but the pain will pass. You are a survivor. You have a history of surviving.
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Amaka Imani Nkosazana (Heart Crush)
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Most of us wander in and out of one another's lives until not death, but distance, does us part--time and space and the heart's weariness are the blander executioners of human connection.
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Gail Caldwell (Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship)
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Technology is seductive when what it offers meets our human vulnerabilities. And as it turns out, we are very vulnerable indeed. We are lonely but fearful of intimacy. Digital connections and the sociable robot may offer the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. Our networked life allows us to hide from each other, even as we are tethered to each other. Weโd rather text than talk.
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Sherry Turkle (Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other)
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He not only rocked my body in ways Iโd never experienced before, but we connected on a level that surpassed friendship. We fucked with a single-minded need to extinguish and reconstruct.
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V. Theia (It Was Always Love (Taboo Love #2))
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If we love someone deeply, be they friends, family or lovers, donโt treat the relationship like a playground game of back and forth or tit for tat. See it as a loving connection and let that be the basis of it all.
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lauren klarfeld
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There's something about you,
Your eyes speak a story in a language only known to my soul. The kind of communication we as humans dream about, the one that reaches into the core of who you are and loves you for it.
It doesn't appear often or by accident & when it happens you just know " There's something about you ".
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Nikki Rowe
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What I want to say is that we all judge each other, but even though we all do it, that's not an excuse. Judging is still one of the most hurtful, spiteful impulses we own, and our judgments keep us from building a stronger tribe...or having a tribe in the first place. Our judgment prohibits us from beautiful, life-affirming friendships. Our judgment keeps us from connecting in deeper, richer ways because we're too stuck on the surface-level assumptions we've made. Our judging has to stop.
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Rachel Hollis (Girl Wash your Face)
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Everyone has connections. For some it's family, like my brother and I. For some it's friendship, like you and Wes. And for others, it's something much more powerful, something yet to be seen.
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Abra Ebner (Book of Love (Knight Angels, #1))
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I know what love is and it is friendship, set afire.
Love is easy. Love is chemistryโa science lab. Love is as simple as connecting this together with that. Her brilliant eyes and my heated heart.
But this is not love.
Not yet.
Genuine love is friendship. Genuine love resides only in the present moment. Genuine love is everyday. Genuine love feels no need to entertain the space away. Genuine love is up, genuine love is down and yet genuine love never wavers.
Love is something else entire: it is caring. It is arguing, but with curiosityโit is giving an inch when the other is certainly wrongโit is teasing, it is empathy, it is respect, it is admiration each morning.
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Waylon H. Lewis (Things I Would Like To Do With You)
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Romance is something people make fun of others for caring about, and yet itโs something thatโs very natural to care aboutโitโs a loving connection between people, like family and friendships: itโs a significant emotional choice people make.
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Sarah Rees Brennan
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The unfortunate status quo is that it is tough for women everywhere, and female friendships are what will carry us through the darkness and absurdity of life. Such connections, however, are not always easily forged in a world keen to divide, mark, and label as โother.
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Parini Shroff (The Bandit Queens)
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This is the best thing about men's friendships: most any awkwardness can be ignored by mutual agreement and, true connection being unimaginable, you can get on with the easier business of parallel living.
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William Landay (Defending Jacob)
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This connection had the potential to be too special to ruin it with the hurt of misfired romantic intentions. And while half of me wanted to tear his shirt off with my teeth, I also wanted him to be in my life for the duration. I didn't want him to be the one I avoided because he'd hurt me. If I was just his friend, then I would still be blessed. If it meant swallowing my pride and being his shoulder when he got hurt, or being the one he ranted at when he was angry, I was prepared to do it with dignity.
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Jessica Thompson (This is a Love Story)
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Stop wearing that mask that is trying to be a match for everybody, and realise that you have to have more of a 1s and 10s model. A 1s and 10s model means that if you want to be a 10 for somebody you have to risk being a 1 for somebody else. [...] You wanna express who you really are.
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Steve Pavlina
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There are some things success is not. It's not fame. It's not money or power. Success is waking up in the morning so excited about what you have to do that you literally fly out the door. It's getting to work with people you love. Success is connecting with the world and making people feel. It's finding a way to bind together who have nothing in common but a dream. It's falling asleep at night knowing you did the best job you could. Success is joy and freedom and friendship. And success is love.
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Allison Burnett
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Isn't friendship amazing? At one time, our friends were just strangers to us. However, there was something special about these strangers; you felt a connection, something in common, a special bond, and your friendship began. What if, as we pass all of the โstrangersโ in our lives, if we looked at these strangers as if they could be a friend? What a different world it would beโฆ.
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James A. Murphy (The Waves of Life Quotes and Daily Meditations)
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A few years ago I heard Jerome Kagan, a distinguished emeritus professor of child psychology at Harvard, say to the Dalai Lama that for every act of cruelty in this world there are hundreds of small acts of kindness and connection. His conclusion: "To be benevolent rather than malevolent is probably a true feature of our species." Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. Numerous studies of disaster response around the globe have shown that social support is the most powerful protection against becoming overwhelmed by stress and trauma.
Social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others. The critical issue is reciprocity: being truly heard and seen by the people around us, feeling that we are held in someone else's mind and heart. For our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow we need a visceral feeling of safety. No doctor can write a prescription for friendship and love: These are complex and hard-earned capacities. You don't need a history of trauma to feel self-conscious and even panicked at a party with strangers - but trauma can turn the whole world into a gathering of aliens.
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Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma)
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She looked to the roses, but it was Tibe's face she saw. It was familiar now, after months of friendship. She knew his nose, his lips, his jaw, his eyes most of all. They stirred something in her, a connection she did not know she could make with another person. She saw herself in them, her own pain, her own joy. We are the same, she thought. Searching for something to keep us anchored, both alone in a crowded room.
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Victoria Aveyard (Queen Song (Red Queen, #0.1))
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I don't want fleeting friendships or relationships or passion in life, give me fleeting moments in coffee shops and walks by the water but I will never be satisfied with empty kinships that are fleeting & undecided. Those connections are what make us all human and I dare not settle my wild little heart for something of so little depth.
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Nikki Rowe
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All you have to do is wait. Sit tight and wait for the right moment. Not try to change anything by force, just watch the drift of things. Make an effort to cast a fair eye on everything. If you do that, you just naturally know what to do. But everyone's always too busy. They're too talented, their schedules are too full. They're too interested in themselves to think about what's fair.
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Haruki Murakami (Dance Dance Dance)
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He was like the other half of myself,' says Boris...Ulrich says, 'You haven't lost {him}, you know. I don't know if it helps to say that. I lost a friend once myself, and I know how it goes.
'He'll find his way inside you, and you'll carry him onward. Behind your heartbeat, you'll hear another one, faint and out of step. People will say you are speaking his opinons, or your hair has turned like his.
'There are no more facts about him -- that part is over. Now is the time for essential things...Gradually you'll grow older than him, and love him as your son.
'You'll live astride the line that separates life from death. You'll become experienced in the wisdom of grief. You won't wait until people die to grieve for them; you'll give them their grief while they are still alive, for then judgment falls away, and there remains only the miracle of being.
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Rana Dasgupta (Solo)
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Loneliness if often exacerbated by a perception that one is lonely while everyone else is connected. It's exaggerated by a sensation of being outside something that others seem to be in on: a family, a couple, a friendship, a joke.
Perhaps now we can learn how flawed that kind of thinking is, because loneliness is one of the most universal things any person can feel.
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Kristen Radtke (Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness)
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I got the tattoo because I wanted to remember that feeling that you gave me the first time I met you. When you burst inside and demanded to make a connection. I wanted to remember to not be afraid of that, anymore. Even if it doesnโt look the same for everyone. Even if some people speak with their hands, some use a mic, or art, whatever. You did it with your friendship with us.
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Tarah DeWitt (Funny Feelings)
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. . .To go as a river . .had taken me a long while to understand. . . meant. . .flowing forward against obstacle . . .like the river, I had also gathered along the way all the tiny pieces connecting me to everything else, and doing this had delivered me here, with two fists of forest soil in my palms and a heart still learning to be unafraid of itself. I had been shaped by my kindredโ my lost family and lost love; my found friendships, though few; my trees that kept on living and every tree that gave me shelter; every creature I met along the way, every raindrop and snowflake choosing my shoulder, and every breeze that shifted the air; every winding path beneath my feet, every place I laid my hands and head, and every creek like the one before me, rolling off the hillside, gaining strength in gravity, spinning through the next eddy, pushing around the next bend, taking and giving in quiet agreement with every living thing.
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Shelley Read (Go as a River)
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Feminist psychologists have suggested that a toxic friendship is often one in which a women's own personal growth and individuation is sacrificed at the expense of the demands of the other person. Sometimes choosing oneself rather than the friendship is important for future personal growth and individuation. But women have a difficult time separating from each other because emotional connection is so highly valued and broken friendships are seen as failures.
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Irene S. Levine (Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend)
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Some compelling proof that women are indeed not born any more capable of empathy or connection than men comes from psychologist Niobe Way. In 2013 Way published a book called Deep Secrets: Boysโ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection, which explores the friendships of young straight men. Way followed a group of boys from childhood through adolescence and found that when they were little, boysโ friendships with other boys were just as intimate and emotional as friendships between girls; it wasnโt until the norms of masculinity sank in that the boys ceased to confide in or express vulnerable feelings for one another. By the age of eighteen, societyโs โno homoโ creed had become so entrenched that they felt like the only people they could look to for emotional support were women, further perpetuating the notion that women are obligated by design to carry humanityโs emotional cargo.
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Amanda Montell (Wordslut: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language)
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Men pretend to be โjust a friendโ at first, even though they want to sleep with you from day one. Otherwise they wouldn't be spending any time, money or attention on you, because these are limited resources and they need these resources to attract a mate. They can't afford to squander them. So they apply these resources to the female that looks to be their best bet to get laid. But they also know that they can't tell the woman on day one that they want to sleep with her, because she'd think it's creepy. So they play along with the illusion that it's โjust a friendshipโ that โsuddenlyโ developed into more, when the woman finally feels inclined to sleep with the guy โbecause they have a deep connection.โ But that was really his goal from day one.
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Oliver Markus (Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends)
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Intimate, or emotional, loneliness is the longing for a close confidante or intimate partnerโsomeone with whom you share a deep mutual bond of affection and trust. Relational, or social, loneliness is the yearning for quality friendships and social companionship and support. Collective loneliness is the hunger for a network or community of people who share your sense of purpose and interests. These three dimensions together reflect the full range of high-quality social connections that humans need in order to thrive. The lack of relationships in any of these dimensions can make us lonely, which helps to explain why we may have a supportive marriage yet still feel lonely for friends and community.
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Vivek H. Murthy (Together: Why Social Connection Holds the Key to Better Health, Higher Performance, and Greater Happiness)
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Thereโs an important distinction between writing about trauma and writing a tragedy. I sought to write about identity, loss, and injusticeย โฆ and also of love, joy, connection, friendship, hope, laughter, and the beauty and strength in my Ojibwe community. It was paramount to share and celebrate what justice and healing looks like in a tribal community: cultural events, language revitalization, ceremonies, traditional teachings, whisper networks, blanket parties, and numerous other ways tribes have shown resilience in the face of adversity. Growing up, none of the books Iโd read featured a Native protagonist. With Daunis, I wanted to give Native teens a hero who looks like them, whose greatest strength is her Ojibwe culture and community.
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Angeline Boulley (Firekeeper's Daughter)
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Andy: Most of the things I did with her partly in mind. And if I said or did an inauthentic thing, I could almost hear her groaning over my shoulder. But now she's gone and I really don't know how I'll get along without her.
Melissa: (Looking at him for the first time.) You'll survive, Andy...
Andy: I have a wonderful wife, fine children, and a place in the world I feel proud of, but the death of Melissa suddenly leaves a huge gap in my life...
Melissa: Oh now, Andy...
Andy: The thought of never again being able to write to her, to connect to her, to get some signal back from her, fills me with an emptiness which is hard to describe.
Melissa: Now Andy, stop...
Andy: I don't think there are many men in this world who have had the benefit of such a friendship with such a woman. But it was more than friendship, too. I know now that I loved her. I loved her even from the day I met her, when she walked into second grade, looking like the lost princess of Oz.
Melissa: Oh, Andy, PLEASE. I can't bear it.
Andy: I don't think I've ever loved anyone the way I loved her, and I know I never will again. She was at the heart of my life, and already I miss her desperately. I just wanted to say this to you and to her. Sincerely, Andy Ladd.
Melissa: Thank you, Andy.
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A.R. Gurney (Love Letters)
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My friendships have stopped being so exclusive and the guidelines have simplified.
Does knowing me help someone I know become a better person?
Am I becoming a better person knowing someone?
Hereโs how I know a relationship is working. When Iโm with that person, I am happy. I look forward to seeing that person. Iโm not afraid that that person will hurt me intentionally. Iโm not hesitant to speak up if I do feel hurt. Knowing that person, challenges me to grow. Being around that person gives me comfort when I feel sad. That person is someone I want to celebrate with when things are great.
Iโve let go of expecting people to behave a certain way or to treat me a certain way. However, I feel Iโm more idealistic about my relationships than Iโve ever been. I want the most difficult thing you can ask a person and that is for them to be themselves, the good and the bad. I want authenticity where many find it hard to be authentic with themselves. Itโs from our authentic selves where true connections are made.
Itโs from those true connections where I finally feel understood.
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Corin
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She knew it was time,
What for was the mystery
but focused; she remained.
She turned her back on anything
that no longer served her strengths
nor taught her vital lessons with her weaknesses.
She said no without explanation
& assigned validation back just to parking spots.
She was fierce but gentle
and authentic in her approach to live even if it meant standing alone.
She knew the hard days weren't over but stood proud that she had already survived some of the worst.
She laughed in the midst of a mindfuck & gathered her worth with all the pieces of herself that have held her together throughout the years.
She knew it was time
What for was the mystery,
but focused; she remained.
She learnt that motherhood provided unconditional love doesn't have boundaries, it's pure in all its forms.
Family are rare connections.
Friendships are like shoes, not all will fit but when some do it's like you have won the lotto.
She learnt that every love was different and how important it was to keep her heart open for the possibility of being able to experience it just one more time.
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Nikki Rowe
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After all relationships had sell-by dates. Sometimes, the ones with the most passion were the ones to burn out faster. Others had a sweet and long-winding coil which burned with slow amicability. At times, it was true, people rekindled a dying ember with a new flame. But they hardly ever noticed the rekindling had come after some time of estrangement - whether physical or emotional. Because people needed newness to make a thing last indefinitely. To make it really last. And because Jan didn't like letting people go, she knew to look for the signs of love's waning. So she could tell how to ease it down slowly into its grave and keep her lovers as friends. Because she really believed people were meant to cross paths. People were meant to stay in your life. There was a reason for all encounters. And relationships had to be cosseted, no matter their shelf life. But they had to be allowed to change shape and form. It had to be given space to grow into something different.
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Adelheid Manefeldt (Consequence)
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If you do not allow yourself to rush into falling for someone that you have not become friends with first, you will be more sure when you let yourself go to the next step. Certainly you might find yourself having all sorts of feelings. Enjoy them. But do not believe them. Only believe your experience of getting to know a person and seeing if you can share at a deep level. See if you find that he or she is a person of the kind of character you would trust as a friend. And as important as all of that, see if that person is a person that you would like spending time with if there were no romance at all. That is the one true measure of a friend, a person with whom you like to spend time, having no regard to how you are spending it. โHanging outโ is fulfilling in and of itself. And that, long-term, requires character, and in the deepest of friendships, shared values as well. You would want your best friends to be honest, faithful, deep, spiritual, responsible, connecting, growing, loving, and the like. Make sure that those qualities are also present in the person you are falling in love with.
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Henry Cloud (Boundaries in Dating)
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You know that feeling of invincibility you sometimes get, especially when young and testing yourself - well that could be because actually know deep down that we are indeed eternal. We come into this world to live a life, to experience it, from somewhere else, some other plane, but we are programmed by all around us to deny or forget this - until one day we may remember again. That feeling of blissful reconnection with our source can be invoked through nature, beautiful writing or art or music, any detailed craft or work of discovery or personal dedication, meditation or other mentally balancing practice, or even through religious experience if there is a pure communion (not a pretence of it). But we should not yearn to return too soon, we should accept that we have come here for the duration of each life, and revel in the chance to learn and grow on this splendid planet. We can draw a deep sense of being-ness. peace, and love from this connection, which will sustain us through any trial. Once nurtured, this becomes stronger than any other connection, so of course our relationships here are most joyful when they allow us the personal freedom to spend time developing and celebrating that connection. Our deepest friendships form with those we can share such time and experiences with - discussing, meditating, immersing ourselves in nature, or creating our music, art, written or other works. Our journeys here are voyages of discovery, opening out the wonders within and all around. What better companions could we have than those who are able to fully share in such delights with us?
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Jay Woodman
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friendship nostalgia
i miss the days when
my friends knew every mundane detail
about my life and i knew every ordinary detail about theirs
adulthood has starved me of that consistencyโ โthat us
those walks around the block
those long conversations when we were
too lost in the moment to care
what time it was when we won-and celebrated
when we failed and celebrated even harder
when we were just kids
now we have our very important jobs
that fill up our very busy schedules
we have to compare calendars
just to plan coffee dates
that one of us will eventually cancel
because adulthood is being
too exhausted to leave our apartments most days
i miss belonging to a group of people bigger than myself
it was that belonging that made life easier to live
how come no one warned us about
how we'd graduate and grow apart
after everything we'd been through
how come no one said
one of life's biggest challenges
would be trying to stay connected
to the people that make us feel alive
no one talks about the hole
a friend can leave inside you
when they go off to make their dreams come true
in college we used to stay up till 4 in the morning
dreaming of what we'd do
the moment we started earning real paychecks
now we finally have the money
to cross everything off our bucket lists
but those lists are collecting dust
in some lost corridor of our minds
sometimes when i get lonely
โiโ still search for them
i'd give anything to go back
and do the foolish things we used to do
i feel the most present in your presence
when we're laughing so hard
the past slides off our shoulders
and worries of the future slip away
the truth isโ โi couldn't survive without my friends
they know exactly what i need
before i even know that i need
the way we hold each other is just different
so forget grabbing coffee
i don't want to have another dinner
where we sit across from each other
at a table reminiscing about old times
when we have so much time left
to make new memories with
how about
you go pack your bags
and i'll pack mine
you take a week off work
i'll grab my keys
and let's go for ride
we've got years of catching up to do
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Rupi Kaur
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Anything Bunny wrote was bound to be alarmingly original, since he began with such odd working materials and managed to alter them further by his befuddled scrutiny, but the John Donne paper must have been the worst of all the bad papers he ever wrote (ironic, given that it was the only thing he ever wrote that saw print. After he disappeared, a journalist asked for an excerpt from the missing young scholar's work and Marion gave him a copy of it, a laboriously edited paragraph of which eventually found its way into People magazine).
Somewhere, Bunny had heard that John Donne had been acquainted with Izaak Walton, and in some dim corridor of his mind this friendship grew larger and larger, until in his mind the two men were practically interchangeable. We never understood how this fatal connection had established itself: Henry blamed it on Men of Thought and Deed, but no one knew for sure. A week or two before the paper was due, he had started showing up in my room about two or three in the morning, looking as if he had just narrowly escaped some natural disaster, his tie askew and his eyes wild and rolling. 'Hello, hello,' he would say, stepping in, running both hands through his disordered hair. 'Hope I didn't wake you, don't mind if I cut on the lights, do you, ah, here we go, yes, yesโฆ' He would turn on the lights and then pace back and forth for a while without taking off his coat, hands clasped behind his back, shaking his head. Finally he would stop dead in his tracks and say, with a desperate look in his eye: 'Metahemeralism.
Tell me about it. Everything you know. I gotta know something about metahemeralism.'
'I'm sorry. I don't know what that is.'
'I don't either,' Bunny would say brokenly. 'Got to do with art or pastoralism or something. That's how I gotta tie together John Donne and Izaak Walton, see.' He would resume pacing.
'Donne. Walton. Metahemeralism. That's the problem as I see it.'
'Bunny, I don't think "metahemeralism" is even a word.'
'Sure it is. Comes from the Latin. Has to do with irony and the pastoral. Yeah. That's it. Painting or sculpture or something, maybe.'
'Is it in the dictionary?'
'Dunno. Don't know how to spell it. I mean' โ he made a picture frame with his hands โ 'the poet and the fisherman. Parfait. Boon companions. Out in the open spaces. Living the good life. Metahemeralism's gotta be the glue here, see?'
And so it would go, for sometimes half an hour or more, with Bunny raving about fishing, and sonnets, and heaven knew what, until in the middle of his monologue he would be struck by a brilliant thought and bluster off as suddenly as he had descended.
He finished the paper four days before the deadline and ran around showing it to everyone before he turned it in.
'This is a nice paper, Bun -,' Charles said cautiously.
'Thanks, thanks.'
'But don't you think you ought to mention John Donne more often? Wasn't that your assignment?'
'Oh, Donne,' Bunny had said scoffingly. 'I don't want to drag him into this.'
Henry refused to read it. 'I'm sure it's over my head, Bunny, really,' he said, glancing over the first page. 'Say, what's wrong with this type?'
'Triple-spaced it,' said Bunny proudly.
'These lines are about an inch apart.'
'Looks kind of like free verse, doesn't it?'
Henry made a funny little snorting noise through his nose.
'Looks kind of like a menu,' he said.
All I remember about the paper was that it ended with the sentence 'And as we leave Donne and Walton on the shores of Metahemeralism, we wave a fond farewell to those famous chums of yore.' We wondered if he would fail.
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Donna Tartt (The Secret History)