Conflict Resolution Mediation Quotes

You can't solve problems until you understand the other side." –Jeffrey Manber

See the system. When you find yourself stuck in an oversimplified polarized conflict, a useful first step is to try to become more aware of the system as a whole: to provide more context to your understanding of the terrain in which the stakeholders are embedded, whether they are disputants, mediators, negotiators, lawyers, or other third parties. This can help you to see the forest and the trees; it is a critical step toward regaining some sense of accuracy, agency, possibility, and control in the situation.

Ignore rumours about whose throne this is. Can't the Badman Killa go out to pee in peace? Come on ye desperados. I am very comfortable with conflict, be it of the legal or mortal kind. My father is a mediator, a bridge maker. I am a grave maker.

While researching bullying prevention programs for the first edition of this book, I was concerned that many of the programs developed for schools had as their foundation conflict resolution solutions. People who complete such well-intentioned bullying prevention programs become skilled at handling different kinds of conflict and learn effective anger management skills, but they still have no clue how to identify and effectively confront bullying. It is disturbing how often school districts’ procedural handbooks mention the use of a mediator “to resolve” a bullying issue, as if it is a conflict. In doing this we are asking targeted students to be willing to reach some sort of “agreement” with the perpetrators. In conflict, both parties must be willing to compromise or give something up in order to come to a resolution. The bullies are already in a position of power and have robbed the targets of their sense of well-being, dignity, and worth. How much are we asking the targets to give up? With

A wise person can successfully resolve a conflict by incorporating basic knowledge of Psychology to understand human behavior , Dispute Resolution to bring both parties together to form an agreeable solution and Law to restrain from engaging in illegal actions.

The advice process: From the start, make sure that all members of the organization can make any decision, as long as they consult with the people affected and the people who have expertise on the matter. If a new hire comes to you to approve a decision, refuse to give him the assent he is looking for. Make it clear that nobody, not even the founder, “approves” a decision in a self-managing organization. That said, if you are meaningfully affected by the decision or if you have expertise on the matter, you can of course share your advice. A conflict resolution mechanism: When there is disagreement between two colleagues, they are likely to send it up to you if you are the founder or CEO. Resist the temptation to settle the matter for them. Instead, it’s time to formulate a conflict resolution mechanism that will help them work their way through the conflict. (You might be involved later on if they can’t sort the issue out one-on-one and if they choose you as a mediator or panel member.) Peer-based evaluation and salary processes: Who will decide on the compensation of a new hire, and based on what process? Unless you consciously think about it, you might do it the traditional way: as a founder, you negotiate and settle with the new recruit on a certain package (and then probably keep it confidential). Why not innovate from the start? Give the potential hire information about other people’s salaries and let them peg their own number, to which the group of colleagues can then react with advice to increase or lower the number. Similarly, it makes sense right from the beginning to choose a peer-based mechanism for the appraisal process if you choose to formalize such a process. Otherwise, people will naturally look to you, the founder, to tell them how they are doing, creating a de facto sense of hierarchy within the team.

We must take a more critical look at the effects of civic exclusivism, rather than merely critiquing populism. In the past, populism has been criticized for inciting enmity between classes by oversimplifying politics as a conflict between the 'rich' and the 'poor; as well as for inviting social chaos by granting power to irresponsible politicians. Yet, populism is at least capable of contributing to the deepening of democracy insofar as it gives prominence to the issue of socioeconomic inequality and demands its resolution. In contrast, civic exclusivism transforms interclass economic conflicts, which could in practice be mediated through redistribution, into a zero-sum moral antagonism based on a good versus evil. In so doing, it legitimizes the exclusion of the poor, and in this regard, is far more harmful to the deepening of democracy than populism. It may also threaten the consolidation of democracy by fostering the politics of resentment.

Mediation is not about winning or losing, but about finding a resolution that works for everyone involved.

Divorce doesn’t have to be a battle—mediation helps families find solutions with dignity and respect.

Mediation, ripe moments: "The success of mediation is tied to the perception and creation of a ripe moment in the conflict — either when the parties are locked in a mutual, hurting, stalemate marked by a recent or impending catastrophe; when unilateral solutions are blocked and joint solutions become conceivable; or when the 'ups' and 'downs' start to shift their relative power positions. Parties can come to perceive these moments themselves, to be sure, but they frequently need the help of a conciliator." — I. William Zartman, 1985 Mediation of adjustments: "Conflict resolution plays on perceptions of an intolerable situation. Things 'can't go on like this.' Without this perception, the conciliator must persuade the parties that escalation to break out of deadlock is impossible. Indeed, the conciliator may be required to make it impossible, if necessary. Thus, deadlock cannot be seen merely as a temporary stalemate, to be easily resolved in one's favor by a little effort or even by a big offensive or a gamble or foreign assistance. Rather, each party must recognize its opponent's strength and its own inability to overcome it. For the conciliator, this means emphasizing the dangers of deadlock as each party comes to recognize the other's strength. Each party's unilateral policy option (the action that it can take alone without negotiation) must be seen as a more expensive and less likely way of achieving a possible, acceptable outcome than the policy of negotiation." — I. William Zartman, 1985

Mediation, ripening a conflict: "Obviously, peacemaking is most fruitful when a conflict is becoming ripe for resolution. But ... the absence of 'ripeness' does not tell us to walk away and do nothing. Rather, it helps us to identify obstacles and suggests ways of handling them and managing the problem until resolution becomes possible. Each conflict situation will contain its own ebbs and flows, and each peacemaker will have his own rhythm. To ripen a conflict that appears to be deadlocked, it may be desirable to shake the parties up by giving them something fresh to mull over." — Chester A. Crocker, 1992 Mediators, power and leverage of: "The peacemaker needs power and leverage to be effective. Where does this come from? Sometimes, we fall into the trap of imagining that leverage in peacemaking is like leverage in a bilateral ... negotiation. But the structure of peacemaking is fundamentally different because it is triangular. The mediator's direct, bilateral leverage with each of the parties is most unlikely to be the decisive factor. To be sure, there is a time and place for shifting weight from one side to another in order to strengthen or restore a stalemate. The threat of pain or the promise of reward may tip the balance among decisionmakers within a government at a particular moment ... However, ... gestures toward one side may drive the other into stupid behavior. Threats or sanctions toward a misbehaving party are likely to let the other side off the hook. A test of wills can develop between a reluctant party and an ardent mediator. The peacemaker who operates by doling out rewards rapidly becomes an object of manipulation. Threats and punishment can produce their own perverse effects: the mediator's objective is, presumably, to obtain forward movement by both sides on the settlement track, not to weaken or punish the parties." — Chester A. Crocker, 1992

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