Conan O'brien Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Conan O'brien. Here they are! All 47 of them:

If you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.
Conan O'Brien
All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien
When all else fails, there's always delusion.
Conan O'Brien
It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.
Conan O'Brien
My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point.
Conan O'Brien
The top two movies at the box office this weekend were 'High School Musical 3' and 'Saw V.' One movie features gruesome onscreen torture that is difficult to watch and the other is about a guy with a saw.
Conan O'Brien
There is nothing more liberating than having your worst fear realized.
Conan O'Brien
I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too.
Conan O'Brien
Applaud my idiocy.
Conan O'Brien
I told graduates to not be afraid to fail, and I still believe that. But today I tell you that whether you fear it or not, disappointment will come. The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.
Conan O'Brien
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, "Jesus! This cup is expensive!
Conan O'Brien
Rev. Pat Robertson says that if more states legalize gay marriage, God will destroy America. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation.
Conan O'Brien
Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.
Conan O'Brien
It's a mistake to read. Television is the only way.
Conan O'Brien
Music and comedy are so linked. The rhythm of comedy is con­nected to the rhythm of music. They’re both about creating tension and knowing when to let it go. I’m always surprised when somebody funny is not musical.
Conan O'Brien
I've always believed, in my heart of hearts, that it would be a better show if, when I crossed over to the desk, the band kept playing for an hour and I danced in a cage.
Conan O'Brien
Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.
Conan O'Brien
Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism – it's my least favorite quality, and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien
If I existed 200 years ago, all the other farmers in my community would be like, 'That guy is worthless! He's sitting on a rock, jumping up like a frog, coming up with weird concepts and ideas, making faces, and combing his hair into a giant pastry.' It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy.
Conan O'Brien
It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.
Conan O'Brien
Eventually, all our graves go unattended.
Conan O'Brien
A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things
Matt Groening (The Simpsons Guide to Springfield)
If you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst to profound reinvention.
Conan O'Brien
When all else fails there's always delusion.
Conan O'Brien
Work hard and be kind and amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien
There are few things more liberating in life than having your worst fear realized.
Conan O'Brien
You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein Because he hates America he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French people.
Conan O'Brien
All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien
Success is a lot like a bright, white tuxedo. You feel terrific when you get it, but then you're desperately afraid of getting it dirty, of spoiling it in any way.
Conan O'Brien
Blow it up.
Conan O'Brien
Eventually, all our graves go unattended.” —CONAN O’BRIEN
Colin Jost (A Very Punchable Face)
Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen
Conan O'Brien
Nobody in life gets exactly what they though they were going to get. But if you work really hard and are kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you: Amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien
And Conan O’Brien tried to be David Letterman but ended up Conan O’Brien. In O’Brien’s words, “It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.
Austin Kleon (Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative)
Thirty-five things have to go wrong for the best thing to happen in your career
Conan O'Brien
The second big theory is spiritual—it’s that we’re distracted because our souls are troubled. The comedian Louis C.K. may be the most famous contemporary exponent of this way of thinking. A few years ago, on “Late Night” with Conan O’Brien, he argued that people are addicted to their phones because “they don’t want to be alone for a second because it’s so hard.
Anonymous
Mein Assistent findet das Streben nach dem göttlichen griechischen Staat Arete „lahm“ und sollte „einen Schwanz essen“. - Conan O'Brien
Conan O'Brien (The World's Worst Assistant)
Conan O'Brien doesn’t have it,' the NBC lawyers assured Jeff Gaspin, Entertainment Chairman (at NBC Universal). 'Conan was guaranteed The Tonight Show. He was not guaranteed that it would start at 11:35 p.m'.
Sean Kenin (The War for Late Night: When Leno Went Early and Television Went Crazy)
Conan O’Brien’s show was speaking to a massive and young audience, and he would put us in weekly bits on Late Night.
Amy Poehler (Yes Please)
book The World Beyond Your Head: On Becoming an Individual in an Age of Distraction as a jumping off point, he takes care to unpack the various cultural mandates  that have infected the way we think and feel about distraction. I found his ruminations not only enlightening but surprisingly emancipating: There are two big theories about why [distraction is] on the rise. The first is material: it holds that our urbanized, high-tech society is designed to distract us… The second big theory is spiritual—it’s that we’re distracted because our souls are troubled. The comedian Louis C.K. may be the most famous contemporary exponent of this way of thinking. A few years ago, on “Late Night” with Conan O’Brien, he argued that people are addicted to their phones because “they don’t want to be alone for a second because it’s so hard.” (David Foster Wallace also saw distraction this way.) The spiritual theory is even older than the material one: in 1887, Nietzsche wrote that “haste is universal because everyone is in flight from himself”; in the seventeenth century, Pascal said that “all men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.”… Crawford argues that our increased distractibility is the result of technological changes that, in turn, have their roots in our civilization’s spiritual commitments. Ever since the Enlightenment, he writes, Western societies have been obsessed with autonomy, and in the past few hundred years we have put autonomy at the center of our lives, economically, politically, and technologically; often, when we think about what it means to be happy, we think of freedom from our circumstances. Unfortunately, we’ve taken things too far: we’re now addicted to liberation, and we regard any situation—a movie, a conversation, a one-block walk down a city street—as a kind of prison. Distraction is a way of asserting control; it’s autonomy run amok. Technologies of escape, like the smartphone, tap into our habits of secession. The way we talk about distraction has always been a little self-serving—we say, in the passive voice, that we’re “distracted by” the Internet or our cats, and this makes us seem like the victims of our own decisions. But Crawford shows that this way of talking mischaracterizes the whole phenomenon. It’s not just that we choose our own distractions; it’s that the pleasure we get from being distracted is the pleasure of taking action and being free. There’s a glee that comes from making choices, a contentment that settles after we’ve asserted our autonomy. When
Anonymous
Little Debbie is all kindness and cream-filled cakes. Wendy looks like Conan O’Brien with braids and smells like hamburger grease.
Jenny Jackson (Pineapple Street)
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.
Conan O'Brien
And Conan O’Brien tried to be David Letterman but ended up Conan O’Brien. In O’Brien’s words, “It is our failure to become “I have stolen all of these moves from all these great players. I just try to do them proud, the guys who came before, because I learned so much from them. It’s all in the name of the game. It’s a lot bigger than me.” —Kobe Bryant our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.” Thank goodness.
Austin Kleon (Steal Like an Artist: 10 Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative (Austin Kleon))
mirthful note was added many hours later. In my remarks at the swearing-in, I had said that my ninety-three-year-old mother was present for the ceremony. Comedian Conan O’Brien picked up on that on his show that night. He joked that my mother had come up to me after the ceremony, offered her congratulations, and then told me, “Now, go kick the Kaiser’s ass.
Robert M. Gates (Duty: Memoirs of a Secretary at War)
Just programmed my Alexa to order a pizza if I shout incoherently for more than 10 seconds
Conan O'Brien