Clue Colonel Mustard Quotes

If Clue was played like D&D, you could grab the lead pipe, beat a confession out of Colonel Mustard, and have sex with Miss scarlet on the desk in the conservatory.

Let's face it, we all got issues. Most of the time we can deal with our own overstuffed luggage, but every once in a while a few marbles bust out of the bag, go rolling down the aisle, and we got no choice but to chase after them. Chasing after our lost marbles is like an out-of-body experience. For a while it's like we become somebody else—someone we don't recognize. It scares us and gives us new and bigger headaches...They got shrinks to analyze why we do weird crap. Sometimes they tell us it's all because of our parents, which makes us happy, because we all want to blame our parents for everything, right?...No one ever seems to take responsibility themselves—because if we don't blame it on our parents, or the devil, or the government, or the freaking position of Venus in relation to Mars, then we're still left with that big ugly 'why?' Most of the time we know for sure what we did, when we did it, and where it happened. Which means we're not playing Boggle anymore; now it's Clue. But does anyone ask why Colonel Mustard killed Professor Plum with the lead pipe in the ballroom? No. When we look at our own lead pipes and ask ourselves why, the answer never really comes, so we find someone or something to blame, because 'I don't know' is not an acceptable answer.

Mae?” Mom’s voice rises over the noise. “Mm?” I look up, realizing again that everyone is watching me. Apparently, I’ve missed a direct question. Her brows furrow. “Are you okay, honey?” With horror, I realize my entire face and neck are flushed. “Yeah, sorry, was just chowing on my dinner.” Theo leans on his elbows. “I called Professor Plum, and you didn’t even blink.” “Oh.” I wave my fork. “I’ll be whoever’s left.” I can feel the ripples of shock make their way around the table. I am laid-back about few things, it’s true, and none of those things are Professor Plum. Like any self-respecting woman of twenty-six, I take my Clue very seriously. And yet. “What’s the big deal, guys?” I ask. “Sometimes a little change is good.” • • • I’ll have you know that Colonel Mustard won Clue tonight, and Professor Plum is already off to bed, pouting that not only did I take the good luck juju with me to a new character, but Professor Plum himself was the murderer, in the conservatory, with the rope. I don’t think Theo enjoys my victory dance, but Andrew sure seems to.