Clone 99 Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Clone 99. Here they are! All 16 of them:

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There's someone for everyone. And when my clones get here, everyone will be able to have that someone. Prices start at $99.
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Jarod Kintz (This Book is Not for Sale)
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18 rules for not getting caught. 1-17: don’t tell anybody. #18: not even your clone.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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It’s not you, it’s me.” This line could signify rejection, or it could be something I say in the future, when I’m talking to one of my clones about another one of my clones.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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I looked him in the eyes and said, β€œI don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when you make eye contact with your clone.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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Aside from myself, there aren’t too many people trying to be me. That may change in the future, when all my clones arrive.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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I don’t deceive myself. No, I get my clones to do it for me.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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If I walked in on two of my clones having sex, I’d think it was gay, incestuous, and just plain rude to have not invited me.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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A high five is a two-person applause. Me and my clone will be excited to clap for you after we present you with the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award. Keep up the great writing!
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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I don’t like the term β€œAverage Joe.” I prefer β€œDolly,” because not only is the Everyman a sheep, but he’s also a clone. They all think alike and act alike.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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I don’t want to see a group of people get killed. Particularly if those people are all my clones.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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Clone One’s last name will be Martz. Clone Two I’ll call Martinez.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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We’re all trying to come to terms with our mortality. Well, except for me, because I plan to live forever through the miracle of cloning.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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Why do we need so many people on Earth? I ask you. What are they good for? They live out ludicrous lives of pointless desperation. Ninety-nine percent of the human population is so much wasted resources. Stubborn vermin, we humans are. Granted, in the past, the unwashed masses were necessary. We needed them to till our fields and fight our wars. We needed them to labor in our factories making consumer crap that we flipped back at them at a handsome profit. Alas, those days are gone. We live in a boutique economy now. Energy is abundant and cheap. Mentars and robotic labor make and manage everything. So who needs people? People are so much dead white. They eat up our profits. They produce nothing but pollution and social unrest. They drive us crazy with their pissing and moaning. I think we can all agree that Corporation Earth is in need of a serious downsizing. ... The boutique economy has no need of the masses, so let's get rid of them. But how, you ask? Not with wars, surely, or disease, famine, or mass murder. Despots have tried all these methods through the millennia, and they're never a permanent solution. No, all we need to do is buy up the ground from under their feet -- and evict them. We're buying up the planet, Bishop, fair and square. We're turning it into the most exclusive gated community in history. Now, the question is, in two hundred years, will you be a member of the landowners club, or will you be living in some tin can in outer space drinking recycled piss?
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David Marusek (Mind Over Ship)
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Me and my clones will form a band called The Eels. I’ll be one of the most electrifying performers of all time.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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I had a hand in getting my clone employment. I gave him a handjob.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)
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More than anything, I just want to be somebody. Somebody like my own clone.
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Jarod Kintz (99 Cents For Some Nonsense)