Chuck Norris Quotes

Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page," Radar said. "For instance, while I do think that Chuck Norris specializes in the roundhouse kick, I don't think it's accurate to say, 'Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but unfortunately he has never cried.

Even little Herley, who couldn't have been more than eight, looked like he could go six rounds with Chuck Norris without breaking a sweat.

Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves. “Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?” “No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!” “But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!

When Chuck Norris stands in front of a mirror it shatters because the mirror knows never to stand between CHUCK NORRIS and CHUCK NORRIS.

Chuck Norris’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried.

Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.

The only reason why world war 2 happened was because Chuck Norris decided to take a nap.

Darcy- "What's worse then a pissed of Chuck Norris?" Pheonix- "What?" Darcy- "A pissed off witch.

What was that action? (Aimee) Chuck Norris meets Jet Li. (Dev)

I have a question.” Stark looked to me. “Can you kick Chuck Norris’s ass?” Luke Stark smiled, white and lazy. My heart thumped. “I strive to be Chuck Norris,” he replied.

Lily asked Calvin to play dolls with her. He reluctantly joined her on the floor, but it soon became Chuck Norris meets Joy doll and she was going down repeatedly. Lily, scandalized, pouted, but began to retaliate. "Oh no you don't, Chuck! I'm Piper, psycho Barbie!

when the boogie man goes to sleep he checks his closet for me

Did you just insinuate I’m comparable to Chuck Norris? Because I’ll take that.

Chuck Norris would totally hit that.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.

Funny how words that are supposed to make people happy kind of make you want to punch a tree like Chuck Norris.

Stalone: "I heard another rumor that you were bitten by a king cobra." Chuck Norris: "Yeah. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.

Twinkle the Destroyer wasn't alone, it seemed. There were more gnomes than I thought. Pip the Bringer of Pain, Chauncey the Devourer of Souls, Cuddly the Inexplicable, Gnoman Polanski, Pith the Bitey, Gnome ChompSky, Gnomie Malone, Chuck the Norriser- the list went on. 'It's like a mishmash of violent imagery, TV, an political references' 'I told you they like TV. I'm not sure the understand everything they see, though, so they don't fully grasp what they're stealing their names from. Like, I think Gnome ChompSky just thought it sounded tough and Chuck the Norriser came from watching too many episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger. They believe Chuck Norris is a demigod' 'Who doesn't?

Shea is a beast, Lucas, you know that. He is the Chuck Norris of baby-making and life; you don’t mess with Shea,

Violence is my last option.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd beat it outta ya. - Walker Texas Ranger

Shea is a beast, Lucas, you know that. He is the Chuck Norris of baby-making and life; you don’t mess with Shea,” Tate said with an awed look on his face.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table,” I replied. “Huh?” “He only recognizes the element of surprise.

If you look at pictures of the bodies of Muhammad Ali, Ray Robinson, or, for that matter, Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee, you'll see physique in perfect proportion and built for function.

I had a few good professors in my painting and drawing classes, but all my graphic design classes tried to teach us how to use Photoshop and Illistrator by showing the class demonstration video clips. You know, exactly like the kind you can watch for free on Youtube, except these video clips cost me thousands of dollars to watch. I felt like I paid a lot of money to learn martial arts, only to show up to find the instructor is fat, sluggish, and cowardly, and he tries to overcome that by trying to teach us how to fight by showing us Chuck Norris movies. (Fact: Chuck Norris could teach me how to fight without even bothering to show up to class).

I had a dream I took the form of Chuck Norris and kicked your ass. Then I impregnated you from across the room.

If Bear Grylls bred with Chuck Norris, I would be their love child. That’s how skilled I am.” Lucy’s face remained carefully blank. “Thank you for that disturbing imagery. But we both know Chuck Norris needs no one. He creates children from thought alone.” “Agree

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his rugged good looks and superior martial arts ability.” Phoenix met Joe's eyes. “Yeah?” “Then Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciated irony, said he should have seen it coming. Now they play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Uschi Glas ist der Chuck Norris des Spießbürgers

Did you just compare your sexual prowess to Chuck Norris’s karate skills?” I asked. “Same thing.” Gabe shrugged. Shaking

Even little Harley, who couldn’t have been more than eight, looked like he could go six rounds with Chuck Norris without breaking a sweat.

Write like you got Chuck Norris after ya'!

Chuck Norris CAN understand women.

Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

looked like he could go six rounds with Chuck Norris without breaking a sweat.

T-shirt that showed Chuck Norris destroying the periodic table. It read, The only element I believe in is the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo went into hiding.

Marcus was Chuck Norris in an off-pink polo shirt.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

My whole family used to watch reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger. And I loved it when Walker would kick butt." "As opposed to what? When Walker would hold forth on quantum physics? When he would write haikus? When he would interpret Bach on the harpischord? That show is an infomercial for Chuck Norris kicking people through plate-glass windows in show motion." "So you've seen it.

Sup, guys,” Will said. “This is your new brother, Leo—um, what’s your last name?” “Valdez.” Leo looked around at the other campers. Was he really related to all of them? His cousins came from some big families, but he’d always just had his mom—until she died. Kids came up and started shaking hands and introducing themselves. Their names blurred together: Shane, Christopher, Nyssa, Harley (yeah, like the motorcycle). Leo knew he’d never keep everybody straight. Too many of them. Too overwhelming. None of them looked like the others—all different face types, skin tone, hair color, height. You’d never think, Hey, look, it’s the Hephaestus Bunch! But they all had powerful hands, rough with calluses and stained with engine grease. Even little Harley, who couldn’t have been more than eight, looked like he could go six rounds with Chuck Norris without breaking a sweat.

I remembered the story of the bumblebee. Aerodynamically it is impossible for the bumblebee to fly. The body is too big for the small size of the wings, but apparently no one told the bumblebee that, so he flies! That's pretty much the story of setting goals. Nothing is impossible unless you believe it is." ~ 'Against All Odds: My Story

(A film has to star Steven Seagal or Chuck Norris before it begins to pose a bigger threat to the language than yellow journalism.)

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris übernimmt die Projektleitung des Flughafens Berlin Brandenburg. Eröffnung ist morgen früh um 6.30 Uhr.

Then I noticed another book with an interesting title: Punching Trees: The Essential Minecraft Materials Resource Handbook. Apparently, it’s very easy to gather wood in Minecraft without a saw. You simply…   PUNCH A TREE?!   Once again, are you kidding me? Was this written by the Chuck Norris of Minecraft or what? I’ll definitely break something, and it won’t be the tree!

Jack, the man who owned the gas station and our cottage, got tired of watching me being chased. One day, when Jack saw Bobby chasing me again, he stopped us and said, "Son, it's time that you fought this boy". "He's too big," I said. "It doesn't matter," Jack said. "You can't run from your fears forever. It's time to stand up for yourself.

I'm the Chuck Norris of Chuck Norris quotes, and I make love like Chuck Norris, only Chuckier.

Achilles had probably never been called a crybaby. But I didn’t want to tempt fate. “It’s been said that his tears can cure cancer… but he never cries…” Alucard whispered. “No, that’s Chuck Norris,” Tory whispered back softly, sounding distracted.

On the seventh day God rested… Chuck Norris took over.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone." "When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders." "Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Walker, Texas Ranger" when she was 14 years old and she learned how to throw a punch from Chuck Norris.

Coach Hedge came pounding up the stairs with Hazel at his hooves. “Where are they?” he demanded. “Who do I kill?” “No killing!” Annabeth ordered. “Just defend the ship!” “But they interrupted a Chuck Norris movie!

Chuck Norris jokes of 2023.

Even legends such as Chuck Norris can’t bear the soul-crushing pressure of society.

La ficcionalización del documental Entre las estrategias que usan los documentales para asemejarse a las ficciones están: Dramatizaciones: a falta de material audiovisual del hecho relatado, se recurre a actores y actrices para interpretar lo que sucedió. El documental Chuck Norris vs. Communism (Ilinca Călugăreanu, 2015) está construido en muy buena parte por dramatizaciones de los hechos que tuvieron lugar tal como son recordados por los sujetos del filme. Reencuadres y retakes: las entrevistas y ciertos sucesos para los documentales pueden repetirse, en caso de que cierto ángulo o posición de la cámara resulte más atractivo, o para tener la cantidad suficiente de tomas en la edición: se le pide al sujeto que vuelva a servirse comida, o que diga de nuevo alguna frase en voz alta, de modo similar a los retakes en las películas de ficción. Animaciones, representaciones de sueños, fantasías, alucinaciones: ante la incapacidad de conseguir material audiovisual, se recurren a animaciones o distorsiones de la imagen y el sonido con tal de representar cómo se sintió/vio desde la subjetividad del personaje. The Nightmare (Rodney Ascher, 2015) cuenta el problema de parálisis de sueño que de manera crónica sufren los sujetos, y sus pesadillas son relatadas por medio de animaciones y distorsiones de la imagen (ralentización, filtros de colores, sombras digitales, etcétera). Música para dramatizar: a pesar de que el diseño de sonido en los documentales es visto como algo de poca manipulación, es cierto que en otros documentales puede resultar enormemente significativo para ambientar o dirigir los hechos (en documentales sobre músicos, como Gimme Shelter, Charlotte Zwerin y Albert y David Maysles, 1970); y en otros casos, es la música la que dirige el montaje de las imágenes (como la famosa saga inaugurada por Koyaanisqatsi, Godfrey Reggio, 1982). Esta segunda alternativa produce una espectacularización de la edición, y con ello, de la construcción artificial del mundo a través de ella con un interés emotivo-dramático. En general, el uso de recursos narrativos estructurales (arcos narrativos, clímax, turning points, suspenso, sorpresa): para mantener interés en el relato, como tener una pregunta guía al inicio y responderla hasta el final; u ocultar la verdadera identidad o relación con los hechos de un personaje, como en el documental Life 2.0 (Jason Spingarn-Koff, 2010), donde poco a poco, con la manipulación de la luz, se va revelando el aspecto físico de la persona con el avatar de niña que pone bombas en plazas comerciales de Second Life.

Once, I was bitten by a cobra. After ten days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris can speak Russian—in French.

The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.

Tutamu Ohshima, another Shotokan master, encouraged me to go beyond my physical limitations. He pushed me to the point where I didn't think I could do any more, and then he encouraged me to go even further!

I said, "I'm satisfied teaching the martial arts." "Not me," Arnold responded. "Bodybuilding is just a stepping-stone to me. I plan on becoming a real estate mogul, and from there, I plan to get into the movies." I had to smile as I said to myself, "How's he going to be an actor when he can hardly speak English?

I say, “This Nazi Disneyland stuff, it’s too cheap and easy. It’s like something the Kissi would dream up.” That’s hitting below the belt. Calling a Hellion a Kissi is like calling Chuck Norris Joseph Stalin. Buer looks like he wants to stuff the blueprints down my throat with a road flare. Obyzuth and Semyazah look at me like they caught me eating cookies before dinner. Marchosias raises her eyebrows, which is about an inch from her challenging me to a duel at dawn.

No One Fucks With Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris pairs alone.

Did you know that when Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris?

But we both know Chuck Norris needs no one. He creates children from thought alone.

I remembered the story of the bumblebee. Aerodynamically it is impossible for the bumblebee to fly. The body is to big for the small size of the wings, but apparently no one told the bumblebee that, so he flies! That's pretty much the story of setting goals. Nothing is impossible unless you believe it is.

Few people become successful overnight at any endeavor. Most people have learned to stick with whatever it is they wish to achieve and to work step by step until they reach their objective. That has certainly proven true in my life.

While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.

Errat knows from the many tales of the great heroes of Earth which friend Lex has been kind enough to share with me, that he will make a most excellent leader. He has the toughness of Chuck Norris, the courage of Wonder Woman, and the ...” “Thanks for the vote of confidence pal.” “... stunning good looks of Kermit the Frog,