Chlamydia Quotes

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck chlamydia?

Cole - I just thought of a new game. Jaz - What's that? Cole - Splat the Specter. Jaz - Rules? Cole - You can help me make them up. Right now all I know for sure is that it involves water guns filled with grape Kool-Aid and two ferrets named Biff and Chlamydia. Vayl - Why Ferrets? Jaz - Really? You want to know about his choice of pets when he's named one of them after an STD?

like my lady parts. I don’t want them all funked up with chlamydia, or worse.

I feel like I'm in one of those teen shows where a caring friend lets her naive schoolmate know that the popular guy in school is spreading rumors about her. Of course, those usually end with everyone finding out they have chlamydia instead of a vampire husband, but the concept is the same.

I don’t want to hear it. Go back to Sammy and get your platter of gonorrhea with a heaping side order of chlamydia. It’s free. Please leave.

Where did I get it? Smartypants, getting a gun in Gutshot, Tennessee is easier than getting chlamydia from a hooker.

Ooh,” Bernice said. “That’s catchy.” “Like chlamydia,” he muttered under his breath.

Well, listen, sweetheart. Boys only want one thing, of course, and guess what that means for you? Heartbreak. Pregnancy. Chlamydia, herpes, syphilis, crabs. That’s beautiful, Dad. You should set it to music.

I hate to sound like an old man, but why are these people famous? What qualities do they possess that endear them to the wider world? We may at once eliminate talent, intelligence, attractiveness, and charm from the equation, so what does that leave? Dainty feet? Fresh, minty breath? I am at a loss to say. Anatomically, many of them don’t even seem quite human. Many have names that suggest they have reached us from a distant galaxy: Ri-Ri, Tulisa, Naya, Jai, K-Pez, Chlamydia, Mo-Ron. (I may be imagining some of these.) As I read the magazine, I kept hearing a voice in my head, like the voice from a 1950s B-movie trailer, saying: “They came from Planet Imbecile!

If it’s burning eternally, it’s probably chlamydia,” Ariel deadpans.

I stumbled in a chlamydia support group and received a standing ovation.

I hear they’re all infected with chlamydia, which just goes to show that you really can’t tell who’s got the clam. I mean, look at a picture of a koala…tell me you’re not shocked.

A woman on an online dating site asked if I'd ever had an STD. I told her my high school prom date was named 'Chlamydia.

No,” he said harshly, plopping down on the living room couch. “Then what was it?” “Her hair.” “Huh?” “Her hair. On the app, she was a brunette, but when I got there, she was a blonde.” I blinked repeatedly. Full-on blank stare. “Come again?” “I’m just saying, it’s obvious that if she’d lie about something like that, she’d lie about gonorrhea and chlamydia.” The

Chlamydia, today´s most common cause of venereal disease, does the equivalent of hiding in the police station. Schistosomes of the mansoni type go a step further and essentially steal police uniforms. These parasites, a serious cause of liver disease in Asia, pick up blood-group antigens so that they may look to the immune system like our own normal blood cells.

This is The Land of Christmas, where joy and laughter are spread like wildfire and chlamydia.

almost laughed. I was uncertain about a lot of things, but Ricky’s commitment to serial monogamy was not one of them. “Nah,” I said, “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” “Sure,” Tabatha said. “Just don’t come crying to me when you get chlamydia.

I ate some ramen out of a mug and watched the only channel on the television, which happened to be Evangelical TV—twenty-four-seven hymns to heal your soul. I sang along, not because I was particularly religious, but damn, some of these songs were as catchy as Chlamydia in Vegas.

and were eventually let in by a person of restricted growth – a little person or, indeed, vertically challenged personage. Apparently, the word ‘dwarf’ is no longer acceptable in modern, politically correct parlance. If India and Zulu are merely minor irritations, dwarf is full blown Chlamydia. I

Baby momma tripping, talking ’bout I gave her Chlamydia! I snapped, cuz I don’t even eat no clams!

ease of understanding, the organisms associated with the enteric tract are further subdivided into three groups: (1) pathogens both inside and outside the enteric tract, (2) pathogens inside the enteric tract, and (3) pathogens outside the enteric tract. As is true of any classification dealing with biologic entities, this one is not entirely precise. For example, Campylobacter causes enteric tract disease but frequently has an animal source.Nevertheless, despite some uncertainties, subdivision of the large number of gram-negative rods into these functional categories should be helpful to the reader. The organisms that are not readily Gram-stained fall into six major categories: Mycobacterium species, which are acid-fast rods; Mycoplasma species, which have no cell wall and so do not stain with Gram stain; Treponema and Leptospira species, which are spirochetes too thin to be seen when stained with Gram stain; and Chlamydia and Rickettsia species, which stain well with Giemsa stain or other special stains but poorly with Gram stain. Chlamydia and Rickettsia species are obligate intracellular parasites, whereas members of the other four genera are not. 105

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.” “Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don’t throw flowers.

When I travel, I get lovesick. Well, they call it chlamydia.

There, alone in the sterile room, sitting on a pink vinyl chair that boasts many cracks in its once nice upholster, you wait. You think to yourself , who would have thought I would be ringing in the New Year by urinating into a cup to see if I have chlamydia?

Poppy sighs, shaking her head. "You do realize you just connected the two biggest sluts in The British Isles, right, Brandon?" Hope gasps. "I am not a slut. I am simply generous. Call it a gift." "Yeah well, " I laugh. "Kyan's the gift that keeps on giving. Chlamydia will burn for a week or two." Poppy

Me and her wasn’t fucking for a long time after she got mad cause I gave her Chlamydia and shit.” “Yous a dirty ass nigga.” Wreck laughed, and Vant shrugged, knowing it was true.

Carter Beckett is the definition of sexy. He’s arrogance dressed in expensive clothing, smooth, corded muscles, and a charming smile, and quite possibly the face of chlamydia; I can’t be certain.

He’s getting married.” “That means nothing. If it did, guys wouldn’t catch chlamydia at their bachelor parties.” “But

Great.” I mimed gagging. “Now I have chlamydia.” “That’s not how that works.” “Sounds like something someone with chlamydia would say.

Happiness is not lame sex with diseased dickheads from the internet with no social or sexual charisma, whose entire personality is PureGym, and then finding yourself constantly dashing off to 56 Dean Street to make sure you haven't contracted chlamydia or worse. Happiness is not the School of Oriental and African Studies, or the Royal African Society, or any Africanists and Orientalists who schlep to cities like Kolkata and Kampala, and find endlessly inventive ways to weaponise their whiteness by explaining decolonisation to folks their own ancestors are still fucking over from beyond the grave.

Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story you’re actually living.” -Rachel Marie Martin

PROSTITUTION – AN ACT OF SEX (A POEM) BY E.T.H…AINA Hey young girl, Why do you want sex often and often? Oh! Dogs ate your placenta! And now your clitoris is always itchy. Hey little bro, why is your penis always nodding Like a read headed agama lizard? And you always want to insert it somewhere. Lemme open your eyes to some things. Girlie, to you, prostitution is just a practice Of engaging in sexual relations for payment or benefits. Hear this, prostitution is sexual harassment, Sexual exploitation, often worse. You become in your mind what your client does or says. It is internally damaging and disgraceful as he uses you to learn various sex patterns What he can’t do with the girl he truly loves. From Backstairs Boogy to Deep Impact, from the Head Game to Arc de Triomp And from Ladder Loving to the Pinwheel, from Electric Slide to Passion Propeller He uses you like a public convenience – a toilet After all, he pays for your ungodly service. After being used as a sex-slave, You’ll still suffer spiritually – what a pity. Girl, remember when the act of sex takes place, There is a spiritual union. Brotherly, hear this, he that has sex with a prostitute Becomes one body with her. He leaves a part of his DNA in her. Something a condom can’t protect you against. Back to you, young girl. You think sex is just pleasurable You moan – f**k me hard, give it to me, Baby Oh, I’m enjoying it. Oh, I’ve almost reached orgasm Then you cum and he cums – loba’tan! You think it’s over, right? You may not know – but he might be using you to enhance his wealth And your insufficient glory is depleting. Bro, you have done it, ten rounds. Champion! But what has gone out of you If only you have a spiritual eye – then you will be sober. Your sperm has been saved inside a black and red ritual calabash She will use it to boost her fame. Bro, it is finished! Wait, you think it is over, right? What if you contract diseases – chlamydia, HIV and AIDS If things fall apart, you tend to suffer on earth And fire will burn you in heaven. Na me talk ham – so, think ham oooo Copyright @2019 E.T.H…AINA All right reserved: no part of the publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any forms or by any means, electronically, photocopy, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the poet -E.T.H…AINA (hercules_temitope@yahoo.com)/+2348184171204

A man can never miss chlamydia

filling the form in.  She held up the photo and matched it with the wall, a tired, thinlooking girl looking out at her. It was set to the right of Oliver’s. They could have had them taken at the same time. She’d ask Mary.  Grace had said she had only been with Oliver — or at least that’s what the answers suggested. She’d have to ask her to make sure. It wasn’t unknown for homeless people to get into disagreements over love. When you’ve got nothing much to lose, the law doesn’t come into play when you’re asking yourself if you’re prepared to kill for someone.  Grace also admitted to being a regular heroin user and agreed to have an examination. She also said she didn’t have any diseases as far as she knew. She was the same age, too. Eighteen. Had they known each other before they’d become homeless? She’d have to find Grace to know the truth.  She went back to Oliver’s file and checked the date next to his signature. It said the seventh of September. Just under two months ago.  Jamie leafed to the next and only other page in the file. It was another shabbily photocopied sheet. Mary must have been doing them on her printer-scanner at home, creating them on her computer. She really did care. The sheet displayed a pixelated outline of the human body — no doubt an image pulled off the web and then stretched out to fill a page. The resolution was too low to keep any sort of detail, but the shape still came through okay. It was a human with their arms out, feet apart. At the top of the page, in Comic Sans, ‘Examination Sheet’ was written as the title.  In appropriately illegible handwriting for a doctor, notes had been jotted around the body. Parts had been circled with lines being drawn to the corresponding note. She read words like ‘graze’ and ‘lesion’. ‘Rash’ cropped up a few times. But there didn’t look to be anything sinister going on. The crooks of the elbows, as well as the ankles, were all circled several times but nothing was written at the sides. Those areas didn’t need explaining, though underneath, as if encapsulating the entire exam were the words ‘No signs of infection’. So he’d been relatively careful, then. Clean needles, at least. Under that, there was a little paragraph recommending a general blood panel, but overall, Oliver seemed to be in decent health. Nothing had been prescribed, it seemed.  She checked Grace’s and found it to be much the same, complete with triple circles around the elbows and ankles. Though her genital area had also been circled and the word ‘Rash’ had been written. At the bottom, a prescription had been written for azithromycin.  Jamie clicked her teeth together, rummaging in her brain for the name. Was it a gonorrhoea medication or chlamydia? She knew it was for an STD, she just couldn’t remember which. But that meant that where she’d put down ‘1’ for number of