Calvin And Hobbes Funny Quotes

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

CALVIN: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us? HOBBES: I suppose if we couldn't laugh at the things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.

It's a funny world, Hobbes." "True." "But it's not a hilarious world.…unless you like sick humour." "The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here.

I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin

There was a sudden loud commotion outside, and Calvin’s eyes widened. “Oh hell. It’s them.” “Who?” Sounded like a damn war had broken out. Dex was sure he heard a chair clattering somewhere. He edged away from the door. “Rafe and Seb...Hobbs’s big brothers.” Dex arched an eyebrow at him. “Like, big as in older, right?” “Big as in older and big.” “How much bigger can they get? Hobbs is already the size of the fuckin’ Chrysler building.

CALVIN: I don't WANNA take a bath! I don't WANNA take a bath! You can't make me! CALVIN (As mom carries him to the tub): Aghh! Leggo! Leggo!! No No No No No No No! Put me down! CALVIN (Now in the tub): I wish I was dead! I hate you all! I hate everything. AARRGGHHH! MOM (Dripping wet. Talking to her husband.): Whenever I hear about people trying to rediscover the "child within," I want to scream.

Hobbes tells Calvin that he's heard girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, while boys are made of snips, snails, and puppy dog tails.  Calvin asks what tigers are made of.  Hobbes tells him dragonflies, katydids, but mostly chewed-up little kids.  Calvin doesn't think that's very funny.

I am disappointed that you have replaced some good, old-fashioned and humorous cartoons with distasteful ones. For example, "The Far Side" by Gary Larson is not funny, just lacking in good taste. "Calvin and Hobbes" by Watterson could be more acceptable if made less offensive (at times). "Doonesbury" and "Bloom County," I suppose, reflect our times. Far better for our newspaper to be working to change what is so unacceptable to us all in these times. Many other cartoons are funny, likable and reflective of the real and good in our country. -- Mary Kohler, Yonkers (letter published in the Herald Statesman, Yonkers NY, 11/12/86) Quoted in /The Bloom County Library/