Cabbage Patch Doll Quotes

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I’d come across a strap-on penis. It seemed pretty old and was Band-Aid colored, about three inches long and not much bigger around than a Vienna sausage, which was interesting to me. You’d think that if someone wanted a sex toy she’d go for the gold, sizewise. But this was just the bare minimum, like getting AAA breast implants. Who had this person been hoping to satisfy, her Cabbage Patch doll? I thought about taking the penis home and mailing it to one of my sisters for Christmas but knew that the moment I put it in my knapsack, I’d get hit by a car and killed. That’s just my luck. Medics would come and scrape me off the pavement, then, later, at the hospital, they’d rifle through my pack and record its contents: four garbage bags, some wet wipes, two flashlights, and a strap-on penis.
David Sedaris (Calypso)
fad is a wave in the ocean, and a trend is the tide. A fad gets a lot of hype, and a trend gets very little. Like a wave, a fad is very visible, but it goes up and down in a big hurry. Like the tide, a trend is almost invisible, but it’s very powerful over the long term. A fad is a short-term phenomenon that might be profitable, but a fad doesn’t last long enough to do a company much good. Furthermore, a company often tends to gear up as if a fad were a trend. As a result, the company is often stuck with a lot of staff, expensive manufacturing facilities, and distribution networks. (A fashion, on the other hand, is a fad that repeats itself. Examples: short skirts for women and double-breasted suits for men. Halley’s Comet is a fashion because it comes back every 75 years or so.) When the fad disappears, a company often goes into a deep financial shock. What happened to Atari is typical in this respect. And look how Coleco Industries handled the Cabbage Patch Kids. Those homely dolls hit the market in 1983 and started to take off. Coleco’s strategy was to milk the kids for all they were worth. Hundreds of Cabbage Patch novelties flooded the toy stores. Pens, pencils, crayon boxes, games, clothing. Two years later, Coleco racked up sales of $776 million and profits of $83 million. Then the bottom dropped out of the Cabbage Patch Kids. By 1988 Coleco went into Chapter 11. Coleco died, but the kids live on. Acquired by Hasbro in 1989, the Cabbage Patch Kids are now being handled conservatively. Today they’re doing quite well.
Al Ries (The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing)
At the car I took Lily Anne from Rita and placed her carefully in the aggressive car seat. But for some reason, all the practicing I had done with Astor’s old Cabbage Patch doll did not quite translate to the real baby; finally Rita had to help me get Lily Anne properly fastened in place. And so it was a completely helpless, all-thumbs Dexter who finally climbed behind the wheel and started the engine. And with many anxious glances in the mirror to make sure that the car seat had not burst into flames, I nosed the car out of the parking lot and onto the street.
Jeff Lindsay (Dexter is Delicious (Dexter, #5))
Q: Where did you find Grizz and Dotcom? A: Grizz and Dotcom were born adorable and fully clothed and found nestled in a field. They were the inspiration for the Cabbage Patch dolls and the Cabbage Patch dance.
Tina Fey (Bossypants)
Mostly you love them and you cherish their milestones but occasionally you do want to tape them to a chair. That would be child abuse, DO NOT TAPE YOUR CHILDREN TO CHAIRS. If you want to tape your baby dolls to chairs, be my guest. I am fairly certain that there isn't like a Cabbage Patch CPS.
E.A. Davis
Thomas hunkered down, taking in the crime scene. The bedraggled soaking wet doll, the wet washcloth over her face, the red plastic beach bucket half full of pool water.“Did they⁠—” “Waterboard their Cabbage Patch doll?’ August said. “Yeah, yeah, they did.
Onley James (Family & Felonies: A Necessary Evils Anthology)
What is the issue, Lucas? So they waterboarded their Cabbage Patch doll. Maybe she had it coming,” Felix said.
Onley James (Family & Felonies: A Necessary Evils Anthology)
Cabbage Patch Kids were the must-have toy of 1983. They were dolls that resembled Ross Perot with hair, but they were more lifelike. I read somewhere that they were designed by Ronald Reagan to get children ready to love the mutant children who would be born after the nuclear war that his policies were sure to cause, but it is possible that was just an urban legend.
David Silva (Stories)