Breastfeeding Bond Quotes

We are bent on weakening bonds in the name of growth and independance,then spend out adulthoods wondering why we have trouble getting close to other people.

When a person does something for another person—a prosocial act, as it’s called—they are rewarded not only by group approval but also by an increase of dopamine and other pleasurable hormones in their blood. Group cooperation triggers higher levels of oxytocin, for example, which promotes everything from breast-feeding in women to higher levels of trust and group bonding in men.

The biochemistry of pleasure can counteract the biochemistry of aging. Nitric oxide is the über-neurotransmitter that increases and balances levels of all the others: endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin (a bonding neurotransmitter released while breast-feeding, experiencing an orgasm, or even enjoying the company of others), and DMT, which is generated in the pineal gland in the brain and probably plays a role in dreaming.3

Some women just want the experience of being pregnant, giving birth, and breastfeeding. For many women, these are vital bonding experiences." (p. 274: in her own sweet time)

The three conditions without which healthy growth does not take place can be taken for granted in the matrix of the womb: nutrition, a physically secure environment and the unbroken relationship with a safe, ever-present maternal organism. The word matrix is derived from the Latin for “womb,” itself derived from the word for “mother.” The womb is mother, and in many respects the mother remains the womb, even following birth. In the womb environment, no action or reaction on the developing infant’s part is required for the provision of any of his needs. Life in the womb is surely the prototype of life in the Garden of Eden where nothing can possibly be lacking, nothing has to be worked for. If there is no consciousness — we have not yet eaten of the Tree of Knowledge — there is also no deprivation or anxiety. Except in conditions of extreme poverty unusual in the industrialized world, although not unknown, the nutritional needs and shelter requirements of infants are more or less satisfied. The third prime requirement, a secure, safe and not overly stressed emotional atmosphere, is the one most likely to be disrupted in Western societies. The human infant lacks the capacity to follow or cling to the parent soon after being born, and is neurologically and biochemically underdeveloped in many other ways. The first nine months or so of extrauterine life seem to have been intended by nature as the second part of gestation. The anthropologist Ashley Montagu has called this phase exterogestation, gestation outside the maternal body. During this period, the security of the womb must be provided by the parenting environment. To allow for the maturation of the brain and nervous system that in other species occurs in the uterus, the attachment that was until birth directly physical now needs to be continued on both physical and emotional levels. Physically and psychologically, the parenting environment must contain and hold the infant as securely as she was held in the womb. For the second nine months of gestation, nature does provide a near-substitute for the direct umbilical connection: breast-feeding. Apart from its irreplaceable nutritional value and the immune protection it gives the infant, breast-feeding serves as a transitional stage from unbroken physical attachment to complete separation from the mother’s body. Now outside the matrix of the womb, the infant is nevertheless held close to the warmth of the maternal body from which nourishment continues to flow. Breast-feeding also deepens the mother’s feeling of connectedness to the baby, enhancing the emotionally symbiotic bonding relationship. No doubt the decline of breast-feeding, particularly accelerated in North America, has contributed to the emotional insecurities so prevalent in industrialized countries. Even more than breast-feeding, healthy brain development requires emotional security and warmth in the infant’s environment. This security is more than the love and best possible intentions of the parents. It depends also on a less controllable variable: their freedom from stresses that can undermine their psychological equilibrium. A calm and consistent emotional milieu throughout infancy is an essential requirement for the wiring of the neurophysiological circuits of self-regulation. When interfered with, as it often is in our society, brain development is adversely affected.

Readers acquainted with the recent literature on human sexuality will be familiar with what we call the standard narrative of human sexual evolution, hereafter shortened to the standard narrative. It goes something like this: 1. Boy Meets girl, 2. Boy and girl assess one and others mate value, from perspectives based upon their differing reproductive agendas/capacities. He looks for signs of youth, fertility, health, absence of previous sexual experience and likelihood of future sexual fidelity. In other words, his assessment is skewed toward finding a fertile, healthy young mate with many childbearing years ahead and no current children to drain his resources. She looks for signs of wealth (or at least prospects of future wealth), social status, physical health and likelihood that he will stick around to protect and provide for their children. Her guy must be willing and able to provide materially for her (especially during pregnancy and breastfeeding) and their children, known as "male parental investment". 3. Boy gets girl. Assuming they meet one and others criteria, they mate, forming a long term pair bond, "the fundamental condition of the human species" as famed author Desmond Morris put it. Once the pair bond is formed, she will be sensitive to indications that he is considering leaving, vigilant towards signs of infidelity involving intimacy with other women that would threaten her access to his resources and protection while keeping an eye out (around ovulation especially) for a quick fling with a man genetically superior to her husband. He will be sensitive to signs of her sexual infidelities which would reduce his all important paternity certainty while taking advantage of short term sexual opportunities with other women as his sperm are easily produced and plentiful. Researchers claim to have confirmed these basic patterns in studies conducted around the world over several decades. Their results seem to support the standard narrative of human sexual evolution, which appears to make a lot of sense, but they don't, and it doesn't.

The bonding effects of suckling can be stronger than giving birth.

Some western women stop breastfeeding early ‘for the marriage’s sake’, as though a physical bond with the baby prevents a happy sex life.

To summarize the reasons for skin-to-skin contact: • It helps to get breastfeeding started. • It maintains the newborn’s temperature more effectively than an incubator. • It helps the baby adapt to the new environment, especially in terms of sugar levels, acid-base balance, respiratory rate and heart rate. • It provides comfort to the new baby after what has been said to be a stressful experience. • It facilitates bonding. • It causes oxytocin release in the mother, which helps her feel loving and nurturing toward the baby. • It encourages milk ejection as well as uterine contractions (to reduce bleeding). • It improves immediate and long-term breastfeeding success.

...we might try to assuage our loneliness and fears by sleeping with partners we don't love or respect -- sometimes men who won't even remember our names -- as we use sex addictively to fill the emotional hole. But we never walk away from sex Scott free. Sex is more personal to us than to men, and there's a reason for that. The results of preliminary research suggests that when we have orgasms, our bodies release oxytocin, the same chemical that's produced during breast-feeding, and that heightens feelings of bonding. As [Niravi] Payne explains in The Language of Fertility, which is coauthored with Brenda Richardson, her work is based on research that validates thoughts and beliefs can affect functioning in cells, tissues and organs. In recent decades, scientists have learned that much of human perception is based not on information flowing into the brain from the external world, but on what the brain based on previous experience, expects to happen next. That means if we unconsciously believe that sex is "shameful" or something to be feared, that belief can be reflected in our reproductive organs by throwing our hormonal functioning, which regulates pregnancy, or in our immune system, which governs our ability to maintain a pregnancy, or even in our menstrual flow, which if malfunctioning can lead to fibroid tumors. Like all feelings, sexual feelings are energy, and when energy is suppressed, it builds and burst out in destructive ways. Clinical psychologist Darlene Powell Hopson has said she teaches her clients an invocation that in, part, she learned from fellow author Iyanla Vanzant: 'Dear God, I love you and being your child. You made me a sexual being and I want to experience closeness and fulfillment with my partner. My soul yearns for the pleasure and satisfaction of being spiritually and physically intimate with my partner....Please continue to remain with me and in me, forever.

A variation on lifetime monogamy is serial-monogamy, which refers to forming a pair-bond long enough to raise a few offspring (typically, for one breeding season) and then forming a new pairbond later. Evolutionary psychologists such as Buss (2005) have argued that serial monogamy is the typical mating pattern among humans, with strict life-long monogamy enforced in some cultures through religious norms. Not surprisingly, the typical human pair-bond lasts roughly 5 years, about the same length of time that women in traditional cultures need to raise one child through pregnancy, breast-feeding, and toddler-hood (Fisher, 2004; Jankowiak & Fisher, 1992). Temporary pairbonding is probably an adaptation to keep fathers close to home, where they can offer protection and resources to their partner and vulnerable offspring.

I will say that breastfeeding has been shown to decrease allergies and asthma (unless, of course, you and/or your lady have a strong family history). It also decreases the likelihood of obesity both in kids and later in life, decrease ear and respiratory infections, and transfer antibodies from mother to child. It also provides additional bonding between your lady and your child. I find it fascinating that my wife is keeping our son sustained through all of this early growth entirely with her body. Breastfeeding is a natural wonder, but it can be very exhausting for mom – it burns a significant number of calories every day, depending on the woman and the amount of milk she is producing

You pump for ten to fifteen minutes. Sterilize the equipment. Put everything away. Take a break long enough to slather your nipples with lanolin, and hopefully, eat something and get a little more tranquil bonding while your baby sleeps before the whole process starts over again. Repeat every two or three hours, day and night, for two or three months.

But there are a gazillion ways to bond with a baby without bottle-feeding—in fact, partners have the key role of teaching the baby that love sometimes comes without food. Some partners take over bath time. Your partner might like to let the baby have daily “tummy time” by leaning back on the couch, baby on chest, or by wearing the baby in a wrap or sling (tummy time doesn’t have to be horizontal!).