“
I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (South of the Border, West of the Sun)
“
Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for.
”
”
Mandy Hale (The Single Woman–Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass: Embracing Singleness with Confidence)
“
I know my heart will never be the same
But I'm telling myself I'll be okay
”
”
Sara Evans
“
Was I bitter? Absolutely. Hurt? You bet your sweet ass I was hurt. Who doesn't feel a part of their heart break at rejection. You ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come, and then your sadness turns to anger. That's my favorite part. It drives me, feeds me, and makes one hell of a story.
”
”
Jennifer Salaiz
“
How can I be reasonable? To me our love was everything and you were my whole life. It is not very pleasant to realize that to you it was only an episode.
”
”
W. Somerset Maugham (The Painted Veil)
“
I will not try to convince you to love me, to respect me, to commit to me. I deserve better than that; I AM BETTER THAN THAT...Goodbye.
”
”
Steve Maraboli (Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience)
“
If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.
”
”
Michael Bassey Johnson (The Infinity Sign)
“
Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
One of the best times for figuring out who you are & what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.
”
”
Mandy Hale (The Single Woman–Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass: Embracing Singleness with Confidence)
“
You’re just another story I can’t tell anymore.
”
”
pleasefindthis (I Wrote This For You (I Wrote This For You #4))
“
Because here’s what guys don’t do if they can’t live without you: They don’t break up with you.
”
”
Greg Behrendt (He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys)
“
i felt her absence. it was like waking up one day with no teeth in your mouth. you wouldn't need to run to the mirror to know they were gone
”
”
James Dashner (The Scorch Trials (The Maze Runner, #2))
“
When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, "What was it that you wanted and why didn't you fight for it?
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
Your memory feels like home to me.
So whenever my mind wanders, it always finds it’s way back to you.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
If you didn't love him, this never would have happened. But you did. And accepting that love and everything that followed it is part of letting it go.
”
”
Sarah Dessen (Dreamland)
“
Because you can never go from going out to being friends, just like that. It's a lie. It's just something that people say they'll do to take the permanence out of a breakup. And someone always takes it to mean more than it does, and then is hurt even more when, inevitably, said ‘friendly' relationship is still a major step down from the previous relationship, and it's like breaking up all over again. But messier.
”
”
Sarah Dessen (This Lullaby)
“
Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle--it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It's not an act of bitterness. It's an act if self-preservation. It's not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?
”
”
Ally Condie (First Day)
“
Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
”
”
Greg Behrendt (It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy)
“
It amazes me how easy it is for things to change, how easy it is to start off down the same road you always take and wind up somewhere new. Just one false step, one pause, one detour, and you end up with new friends or a bad reputation or a boyfriend or a breakup. It's never occurred to me before; I've never been able to see it. And it makes me feel, weirdly, like maybe all of these different possibilities exist at the same time, like each moment we live has a thousand other moments layered underneath it that look different.
”
”
Lauren Oliver (Before I Fall)
“
There is an ocean of silence between us… and I am drowning in it.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
A true gentleman is one that apologizes anyways, even though he has not offended a lady intentionally. He is in a class all of his own because he knows the value of a woman's heart.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
You fell in love with a storm. Did you really think you would get out unscathed?
”
”
Nikita Gill
“
Like some wines our love could neither mature nor travel.
”
”
Graham Greene (The Comedians)
“
You asked why I couldn't forgive you," Nick said, very quietly, and I jumped a little. "It was because you were the love of my life, Harper. And you didn't want to be. That's hard to let go.
”
”
Kristan Higgins (My One and Only)
“
A best friend is the only one that walks into your life when the world has walked out.
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
Stuart needs "space" and "time," as if this were physics and not a human relationship.
”
”
Kathryn Stockett (The Help)
“
I wore your promise on my finger for one year
I'll wear your name on my heart til I die
Because you were my boy, you were my only boy forever.
”
”
Coco J. Ginger
“
The sweetest part of being a couple is sharing your life with someone else.
But my life, evidently, had not been good enough to share.
”
”
Charlaine Harris (Club Dead (Sookie Stackhouse, #3))
“
Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
”
”
Greg Behrendt (It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy)
“
I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.
”
”
Amit Kalantri (Wealth of Words)
“
The last time I felt alive – I was looking into your eyes.
Breathing your air…. touching your skin…
… Saying goodbye….
The last time I felt alive…. I was dying.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
To be rejected by someone doesn't mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn't mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurt so much because to you, that person's opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world, of God.
”
”
Jocelyn Soriano (Mend My Broken Heart)
“
I've been burdened with blame trapped in the past for too long, I'm moving on
”
”
Rascal Flatts
“
…the sad part is, that I will probably end up loving you without you for much longer than I loved you when I knew you.
Some people might find that strange.
But the truth of it is that the amount of love you feel for someone and the impact they have on you as a person, is in no way relative to the amount of time you have known them.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
If you cannot hold me in your arms, then hold my memory in high regard.
And if I cannot be in your life, then at least let me live in your heart.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
He brought out the worst in me, and was the best thing that ever happened to me.
”
”
Coco J. Ginger
“
Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is I'mma be ok
”
”
Leona Lewis
“
Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise.
”
”
Aaron Ben-Ze'ev
“
Families break up when they get hints you don't intend and miss hints that you do.
”
”
Robert Frost
“
I would rather a romantic relationship turn into contempt than turn into apathy. The passion in the extremities make it appear as though it once meant something. We grow from hot or cold, but lukewarm is the biggest insult.
”
”
Criss Jami (Killosophy)
“
When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do do, and often do do, much much better.
”
”
Coco J. Ginger
“
I had someone once who made every day mean something.
And now…. I am lost….
And nothing means anything anymore.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
When you experience loss, people say you’ll move through the 5 stages of grief….
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
….. What they don’t tell you is that you’ll cycle through them all every day.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
I think perhaps I will always hold a candle for you – even until it burns my hand.
And when the light has long since gone …. I will be there in the darkness holding what remains, quite simply because I cannot let go.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
It is better to lock up your heart with a merciless padlock, than to fall in love with someone who doesn't know what they mean to you.
”
”
Michael Bassey Johnson (The Infinity Sign)
“
Yes, I understand why things had to happen this way. I understand his reason for causing me pain. But mere understanding does not chase away the hurt. It does not call upon the sun when dark clouds have loomed over me. Let the rain come then if it must come! And let it wash away the dust that hurt my eyes!
”
”
Jocelyn Soriano (Mend My Broken Heart)
“
I could’ve sworn I was telling the truth when I told you I didn’t miss you.
”
”
pleasefindthis (I Wrote This For You (I Wrote This For You #4))
“
I delete the picture of him from my phone; I delete his number. I think that if I just delete him enough, it will be like none of it ever happened and my heart won't hurt so badly
”
”
Jenny Han (To All the Boys I've Loved Before (To All the Boys I've Loved Before, #1))
“
I love you. I hate you. I like you. I hate you. I love you. I think you’re stupid. I think you’re a loser. I think you’re wonderful. I want to be with you. I don’t want to be with you. I would never date you. I hate you. I love you…..I think the madness started the moment we met and you shook my hand. Did you have a disease or something?
”
”
Shannon L. Alder
“
If you’re searching for a quote that puts your feelings into words – you won’t find it.
You can learn every language and read every word ever written – but you’ll never find what’s in your heart.
How can you?
He has it.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
Time will make it worse! You're...the other half of his soul. He's never going to get over you. And no matter how much you hope that you will... you'll never get over him. You're going to wake up one day and realize what you've done, and you're going to regret the time you wasted apart from him for the rest of your life.
”
”
Jamie McGuire (Providence (Providence, #1))
“
Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained.
”
”
Jonathan Harnisch (Freak)
“
I don't deserve you."
"You're not allowed to say that."
"Why not?"
"It's a breakup line. Unless you're breaking up-"
Jason leaned over and kissed her. The colors of the Roman afternoon suddenly seemed sharper, as it the world had switched to high definition.
"No breakups," he promised. "I may have busted my head a few times, but I'm not that stupid.
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
“
I miss that feeling of connection.
Knowing he was out there somewhere thinking about me at the same time I was thinking about him.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
Her heart had grown so familiar to the pain of life without him, that to respond now seemed too large a pleasure she could not endure. If pain was love, then she loved fiercely. Yet knew she could not be near that boy again.
”
”
Coco J. Ginger
“
Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: that we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being. (109)
”
”
Jean-Yves Leloup (Compassion and Meditation: The Spiritual Dynamic between Buddhism and Christianity)
“
They'll say you are bad
or perhaps you are mad
or at least you
should stay undercover.
Your mind must be bare
if you would dare
to think you can love
more than one lover.
”
”
David Rovics
“
He was both everything I could ever want…
And nothing I could ever have…
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever.
”
”
Carroll Bryant
“
Those days are gone, and good fucking riddance to them; unhappiness really meant something back then. Now it's just a drag, like a cold or having no money. If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have got to me earlier.
”
”
Nick Hornby (High Fidelity)
“
I'll tell you something, Harpy," he said, his voice almost a whisper now. "It never even occurred to me that we wouldn't make it. And it never occurred to you that we would. You were just waiting for us to go down in flames. I thought we could get through anything.
”
”
Kristan Higgins (My One and Only)
“
I miss your smile… but I miss mine more.
”
”
Laurel House
“
Though these words will never find you, I hope that you knew I was thinking of you today….. and that I was wishing you every happiness.
Love Always,
The girl you loved once.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
It’s difficult for me to imagine the rest of my life without you. But I suppose I don’t have to imagine it... I just have to live it
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
I truly loved you, but now I'm walking away
”
”
Jonny Lang
“
Why don’t you just pretend that the asshole dropped dead? You can’t call or write to a dead man. Put a couple of candles in front of his picture, say a few Hail Marys, and get it over with.
”
”
Isabel Lopez (Isabel's Hand-Me-Down Dreams)
“
You put me through hell. On purpose. Made me suffer. And there’s no end in sight. I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing, ace, but this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde shit ain’t cutting it with me.
”
”
Sylvia Day (Reflected in You (Crossfire, #2))
“
I raised you so high that every other man on earth is now doomed to live in your shadow.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
It is our wounds that create in us a desire to reach for miracles. The fulfillment of such miracles depends on whether we let our wounds pull us down or lift us up towards our dreams.
”
”
Jocelyn Soriano (Mend My Broken Heart)
“
So for now,
I will miss you like I’ll never see you again,
And the next time I see you,
I will kiss you like I’ll never kiss you again,
And when I fall asleep beside you
I will fall asleep as if I’ll never wake up again,
because I don’t know if I will.
I don’t know if I will.
- I Will Love You Like The World Is Ending
”
”
Charlotte Eriksson (Empty Roads & Broken Bottles: in search for The Great Perhaps)
“
Once you embrace your value, talents and strengths, it neutralizes when others think less of you.
”
”
Rob Liano
“
..And now you've lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive
”
”
Keith Urban
“
It’s painful, loving someone from afar.
Watching them – from the outside.
The once familiar elements of their life reduced to nothing more than occasional mentions in conversations and faces changing in photographs…..
They exist to you now as nothing more than living proof that something can still hurt you … with no contact at all.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
It is in that moment, when you really lay down your cards and see the relationship for what it was, that you'll find the freedom to kick it in the ass and let it go.
”
”
Greg Behrendt (It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy)
“
You think that you are an iconoclast, but you’re not. You just move, or replace what you cannot have. If you fail at something, you retreat into something else. Nothing changes you.... I left you because I knew I could never change you. You would stand in the room so still sometimes, as if the greatest betrayal of yourself would be to reveal one more inch of your character.
”
”
Michael Ondaatje (The English Patient)
“
Sometimes you want to say, “I love you, but…”
Yet the “but” takes away the ‘I love you’. In love their are no ‘buts’ or ‘if’s’ or ‘when’. It’s just there, and always. No beginning, no end. It’s the condition-less state of the heart. Not a feeling that comes and goes at the whim of the emotions. It is there in our heart, a part of our heart…eventually grafting itself into each limb and cell of our bodies. Love changes our brain, the way we move and talk. Love lives in our spirit and graces us with its presence each day, until death.
To say “I love you, but….” is to say, “I did not love you at all”.
I say this to you now: I love you, with no beginning, no end. I love you as you have become an extra necessary organ in my body. I love you as only a girl could love a boy. Without fear. Without expectations. Wanting nothing in return, except that you allow me to keep you here in my heart, that I may always know your strength, your eyes, and your spirit that gave me freedom and let me fly.
”
”
Coco J. Ginger
“
Do the things that you always wanted to, without me there to hold you back, don't think just do, more than anything I want to see you go, take a glorious bite out of the whole world
”
”
Snow Patrol
“
We stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that meant everything. In his eyes, there was no trace of what had happened between us earlier and I could feel something inside me break.
So that was that. We were finally, finally over.
I looked at him, and I felt so sad, because this thought occurred to me: 'I will never look at you the same way again. I'll never be that girl again. The girl who comes running back every time you push her away, the girl who loves you anyway.'
I couldn’t even be mad at him, because this was who he was. This was who he’d
always been. He’d never lied about that. He gave and then he took away. I felt it in the pit of my stomach, the familiar ache, that lost, regretful feeling only he could give me. I never wanted to feel it again. Never, ever.
Maybe this was why I came, so I could really know. So I could say good-bye.
I looked at him, and I thought, 'If I was very brave or very honest, I would tell him.'
I would say it, so he would know it and I would know it, and I could never take it back. But I wasn’t that brave or honest, so all I did was look at him. And I think he knew anyway.
'I release you. I evict you from my heart. Because if I don't do it now, I never will.'
I was the one to look away first.
”
”
Jenny Han (It's Not Summer Without You (Summer, #2))
“
Even with all the mayonnaise in the world, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit.
”
”
Greg Behrendt (It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy)
“
There was a time when I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love? What happened to it, is what I'd like to know. I wish someone could tell me.
”
”
Raymond Carver (What We Talk About When We Talk About Love)
“
No matter how bad you want a person, if your hearts are in two different places, you’ll have to pass and move on.
”
”
Alexandra Elle
“
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.
”
”
John Mayer (Continuum (Play It Like It Is: Guitar with Tablature))
“
Trust yourself, because as Oprah says, doubt means don't every time
”
”
Greg Behrendt (It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy)
“
Don't allow someone not worth it to have the power to occupy your thoughts. If they don't find you worth the effort or the time, why should you waste yours?
”
”
Donna Lynn Hope
“
I knew that somewhere God was laughing. He had taken the other half of my heart, the one person who knew me better than I knew myself, and He had done what nothing else could do. By bringing us together, He had set into motion the one thing that could tear us apart.
”
”
Jodi Picoult (Harvesting the Heart)
“
He loved me. He loved me, but he doesn't love me anymore, and it's not the end of the world.
”
”
Jennifer Weiner (Good in Bed (Cannie Shapiro, #1))
“
time made me stronger, you're no longer on my mind
”
”
Boyz II Men
“
...you are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
”
”
Greg Behrendt (It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy)
“
Your smile and your laughter lit my whole world.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
I didn’t love you to seek revenge.
I didn’t love you out of loneliness or unhappiness.
I didn’t love you for any of the misguided reasons that time might convince you I did.
I just loved you because you’re you.
”
”
Ranata Suzuki
“
When someone leaves you, apart from missing them, apart from the fact that the whole little world you've created together collapses, and that everything you see or do reminds you of them, the worst is the thought that they tried you out and, in the end, the whole sum of parts adds up to you got stamped REJECT by the one you love. How can you not be left with the personal confidence of a passed over British Rail sandwich?
”
”
Helen Fielding (Bridget Jones’s Diary (Bridget Jones, #1))
“
She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy
”
”
Keith Urban
“
It's an odd thing to think about, but try imagining that your breakup is a disease. If you were told that you had a serious yet curable disease, would you go get hammered on a regular basis? Eat two bags of Oreos? Chain-smoke, pop, pills, get stoned, or fuck around? NO YOU WOULDN'T. You would take great care of yourself and cut all the unhealthy things out of your life. Because you love yourself, and even if you don't right now, WE DO. So put the (insert vice here) and start moving on.
”
”
Greg Behrendt (It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy)
“
So I am not a broken heart.
I am not the weight I lost or miles or ran and I am not the way I slept on my doorstep under the bare sky in smell of tears and whiskey because my apartment was empty and if I were to be this empty I wanted something solid to sleep on. Like concrete.
I am not this year and I am not your fault.
I am muscles building cells, a little every day, because they broke that day,
but bones are stronger once they heal and I am smiling to the bus driver and replacing my groceries once a week and I am not sitting for hours in the shower anymore.
I am the way a life unfolds and bloom and seasons come and go and I am the way the spring always finds a way to turn even the coldest winter into a field of green and flowers and new life.
I am not your fault.
”
”
Charlotte Eriksson (You're Doing Just Fine)
“
If you have ever, sir, been through a breakup of a romantic relationship that involved great love, you will perhaps understand what I experienced. There is in such situations usually a moment of passion during which the unthinkable is said; this is followed by a sense of euphoria at finally being liberated; the world seems fresh as if seen for the first time then comes the inevitable period of doubt, the desperate and doomed backpedaling of regret; and only later, once emotions have receded, is one able to view with equanimity the journey through which one has passed.
”
”
Mohsin Hamid (The Reluctant Fundamentalist)
“
There’s always that one guy who gets a hold on you. Not like your best friend’s brother who gets you in a headlock kind of hold. Or the little kid you’re babysitting who attaches himself to your leg kind of hold.
I’m talking epic. Life changing. The “can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t do your homework, can’t stop giggling, can’t remember anything but his smile” kind of hold. Like, Wesley and Buttercup proportions. Harry and Sally. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. The kind of hold in all your favorite ’80s songs, like the “Must Have Been Love”s, the “Take My Breath Away”s, the “Eternal Flame”s—the ones you sing into a hairbrush-microphone at the top of your lungs with your best friends on a Saturday night.
”
”
Jess Rothenberg (The Catastrophic History of You and Me)
“
She knew how breakups went from hearing other girls complain about them. First the pulling away, the gradual refusal to return notes or phone calls. The vague messages saying nothing was wrong, that the other person just needed a little space. Then the speech about how "It's not you, it's me." Then the crying part.
She'd never thought any of that would apply to her and Jace. What they had wasn't ordinary, or subject to the ordinary rules of relationships and breakups. They belonged to each other totally, and always will, and that was that.
But maybe everyone felt that way? Until the moment they realized they were just like everyone else, and everyone they'd thought was real shattered apart.
”
”
Cassandra Clare (City of Fallen Angels (The Mortal Instruments, #4))
“
6 months, 2 weeks, 4 days,
and I still don’t know which month it was then
or what day it is now.
Blurred out lines
from hangovers
to coffee
Another vagabond
lost to love.
4am alone and on my way.
These are my finest moments.
I scrub my skin
to rid me from
you
and I still don’t know why I cried.
It was just something in the way you took my heart and rearranged my insides and I couldn’t recognise the emptiness you left me with when you were done. Maybe you thought my insides would fit better this way, look better this way, to you and us and all the rest.
But then you must have changed your mind
or made a wrong
because why did you
leave?
6 months, 2 weeks, 4 days,
and I still don’t know which month it was then
or what day it is now.
I replace cafés with crowded bars and empty roads with broken bottles
and this town is healing me slowly but still not slow or fast enough because there’s no right way to do this.
There is no right way to do this.
There is no right way to do this.
”
”
Charlotte Eriksson (Another Vagabond Lost To Love: Berlin Stories on Leaving & Arriving)
“
You try every trick in the book to keep her. You write her letters. You drive her to work. You quote Neruda. You compose a mass e-mail disowning all your sucias. You block their e-mails. You change your phone number. You stop drinking. You stop smoking. You claim you’re a sex addict and start attending meetings. You blame your father. You blame your mother. You blame the patriarchy. You blame Santo Domingo. You find a therapist. You cancel your Facebook. You give her the passwords to all your e-mail accounts. You start taking salsa classes like you always swore you would so that the two of you could dance together. You claim that you were sick, you claim that you were weak—It was the book! It was the pressure!—and every hour like clockwork you say that you’re so so sorry. You try it all, but one day she will simply sit up in bed and say, No more, and, Ya, and you will have to move from the Harlem apartment that you two have shared. You consider not going. You consider a squat protest. In fact, you say won’t go. But in the end you do.
”
”
Junot Díaz (This Is How You Lose Her)
“
what love looks like
what does love look like the therapist asks
one week after the breakup
and i’m not sure how to answer her question
except for the fact that i thought love
looked so much like you
that’s when it hit me
and i realized how naive i had been
to place an idea so beautiful on the image of a person
as if anybody on this entire earth
could encompass all love represented
as if this emotion seven billion people tremble for
would look like a five foot eleven
medium-sized brown-skinned guy
who likes eating frozen pizza for breakfast
what does love look like the therapist asks again
this time interrupting my thoughts midsentence
and at this point i’m about to get up
and walk right out the door
except i paid too much money for this hour
so instead i take a piercing look at her
the way you look at someone
when you’re about to hand it to them
lips pursed tightly preparing to launch into conversation
eyes digging deeply into theirs
searching for all the weak spots
they have hidden somewhere
hair being tucked behind the ears
as if you have to physically prepare for a conversation
on the philosophies or rather disappointments
of what love looks like
well i tell her
i don’t think love is him anymore
if love was him
he would be here wouldn’t he
if he was the one for me
wouldn’t he be the one sitting across from me
if love was him it would have been simple
i don’t think love is him anymore i repeat
i think love never was
i think i just wanted something
was ready to give myself to something
i believed was bigger than myself
and when i saw someone
who probably fit the part
i made it very much my intention
to make him my counterpart
and i lost myself to him
he took and he took
wrapped me in the word special
until i was so convinced he had eyes only to see me
hands only to feel me
a body only to be with me
oh how he emptied me
how does that make you feel
interrupts the therapist
well i said
it kind of makes me feel like shit
maybe we’re looking at it wrong
we think it’s something to search for out there
something meant to crash into us
on our way out of an elevator
or slip into our chair at a cafe somewhere
appear at the end of an aisle at the bookstore
looking the right amount of sexy and intellectual
but i think love starts here
everything else is just desire and projection
of all our wants needs and fantasies
but those externalities could never work out
if we didn’t turn inward and learn
how to love ourselves in order to love other people
love does not look like a person
love is our actions
love is giving all we can
even if it’s just the bigger slice of cake
love is understanding
we have the power to hurt one another
but we are going to do everything in our power
to make sure we don’t
love is figuring out all the kind sweetness we deserve
and when someone shows up
saying they will provide it as you do
but their actions seem to break you
rather than build you
love is knowing who to choose
”
”
Rupi Kaur (The Sun and Her Flowers)