Bowen Family Systems Theory Quotes

Family system theory which was proposed by Murray Bowen in 1978 gives an insight on how immature parents create emotional enmeshment over their children true self.  Parents who are immature do not have genuine conversations and intimacy with their children. Such families are better referred to as housemates. Bowen further explained that when parents tend to cause emotional injuries into their children, rather than the children sitting to mourn, such children should indulge into other things that make them happy without losing themselves in the process.

The eight concepts of Bowen theory, in the logical progression that builds on the family as the emotional unit, are: Nuclear Family Emotional System The Differentiation of Self Scale Triangles Cutoff Family Projection Process Multigenerational Transmission Process Sibling Position Societal Emotional Process.

Triangles are ubiquitous and automatic in emotional systems. They are considered, in Bowen family systems theory, to be the molecule, or basic building block of any system of people—be it the family, an organization, or society itself. The goal is not how to get out of them, however, but rather how to manage oneself in and through them.

Instead of talking about their feelings, EI people express themselves nonverbally through emotional contagion (Hatfield, Rapson, and Le 2009), coming across your boundaries and getting you as upset as they are. In family systems theory, this absence of healthy boundaries is called emotional fusion (Bowen 1985), while in structural family therapy it is called enmeshment (Minuchin 1974). This is the process by which EI family members get absorbed into each other’s emotions and psychological issues.

Interlocking pathology in family relationships. In S. Rado and G. Daniels (Eds.), Changing concepts of psychoanalytic medicine (pp. 135–150). New York: Grune and Stratton. Ackerman, N. W. (1958). The psychodynamics of family life. New York: Basic Books. Bateson, G., Jackson, D. D., Haley, J. & Weakland, J. (1956). Toward a theory of schizophrenia. Behavioral Science, 1, 251–164. Bowen, M. (1972). Toward the differentiation of self in one’s family of origin. In Georgetown Family Symposia: A collection of selected papers (Vol.1, 1971–1972). Washington, DC: Georgetown University Family Center. Bowen, M. (1976). Family theory in the practice of psychotherapy. In P. Guerin (Ed.), Family therapy: Theory and practice (pp. 335–348). New York: Gardner Press. Bowen, M. (1978). Family therapy

People who have good levels of solid self are as interested in the welfare of others as much as in their own welfare. They are not competing with one another and are trying to change one another. They are present and accounted for even when system anxiety is high. They do not have to distance to calm themselves and do not have to get others to be calm for themselves to be calm. They truly understand that calming themselves helps to calm others.

I often refer to the calming effect of seeing and accepting one's part in a relationship problem as 'the systems miracle'.

Exhausted Christian leaders who flip from moral overfunctioning to moral underfunctioning have done great harm to God’s people. That is not our calling.

The last concept to be added to Bowen theory is that of societal regression. It notes that, periodically, as anxiety begins to run higher in society, regressed behavior can be noted on a massive scale. A hallmark of such an anxious period is the unwillingness of families or other institutions of society (such as the court system) to take responsibility when behavior breaks down.