Booty Day Quotes

Belgarath and Garion effortlessly hurdled over the driftwood and loped off into the fog. "It's going to be a wet day," Garion noted soundlessly as he ran alongside the great silver wolf. "Your fur won't melt." "I know, but my paws get cold when they're wet." "I'll have Durnik make you some little booties." "That would be absolutely ridiculous, Grandfather," Garion said indignantly.

Here she was, a women who could bolt-load a crossbow in under a second, put half a dozen long arrows in the air in fewer than five, blade a target dead through the sweet spot at six meters, on the run, on an off day; and yet knitting a pair of baby booties seemed completely beyond her power.

Fuck it,” I said. I walked toward him, got on my knees, and put my tongue in his ass. His pretty hole smelled like strawberries and cream. I French kissed his booty hole and then ate it like I was a homeless man who hadn’t eaten in days.

My email had pinged two minutes later. In addition to his renewed focus on being likable to regular people, he was determined to nail being a boyfriend. To him, that meant coming up with pet names throughout the day. Honeycakes. Muffinbear. Little Booty Ham Sandwich.

I probably should say that this is what makes you a good traveler in my opinion, but deep down I really think this is just universal, incontrovertible truth. There is the right way to travel, and the wrong way. And if there is one philanthropic deed that can come from this book, maybe it will be that I teach a few more people how to do it right. So, in short, my list of what makes a good traveler, which I recommend you use when interviewing your next potential trip partner: 1. You are open. You say yes to whatever comes your way, whether it’s shots of a putrid-smelling yak-butter tea or an offer for an Albanian toe-licking. (How else are you going to get the volcano dust off?) You say yes because it is the only way to really experience another place, and let it change you. Which, in my opinion, is the mark of a great trip. 2. You venture to the places where the tourists aren’t, in addition to hitting the “must-sees.” If you are exclusively visiting places where busloads of Chinese are following a woman with a flag and a bullhorn, you’re not doing it. 3. You are easygoing about sleeping/eating/comfort issues. You don’t change rooms three times, you’ll take an overnight bus if you must, you can go without meat in India and without vegan soy gluten-free tempeh butter in Bolivia, and you can shut the hell up about it. 4. You are aware of your travel companions, and of not being contrary to their desires/​needs/​schedules more often than necessary. If you find that you want to do things differently than your companions, you happily tell them to go on without you in a way that does not sound like you’re saying, “This is a test.” 5. You can figure it out. How to read a map, how to order when you can’t read the menu, how to find a bathroom, or a train, or a castle. 6. You know what the trip is going to cost, and can afford it. If you can’t afford the trip, you don’t go. Conversely, if your travel companions can’t afford what you can afford, you are willing to slum it in the name of camaraderie. P.S.: Attractive single people almost exclusively stay at dumps. If you’re looking for them, don’t go posh. 7. You are aware of cultural differences, and go out of your way to blend. You don’t wear booty shorts to the Western Wall on Shabbat. You do hike your bathing suit up your booty on the beach in Brazil. Basically, just be aware to show the culturally correct amount of booty. 8. You behave yourself when dealing with local hotel clerks/​train operators/​tour guides etc. Whether it’s for selfish gain, helping the reputation of Americans traveling abroad, or simply the spreading of good vibes, you will make nice even when faced with cultural frustrations and repeated smug “not possible”s. This was an especially important trait for an American traveling during the George W. years, when the world collectively thought we were all either mentally disabled or bent on world destruction. (One anecdote from that dark time: in Greece, I came back to my table at a café to find that Emma had let a nearby [handsome] Greek stranger pick my camera up off our table. He had then stuck it down the front of his pants for a photo. After he snapped it, he handed the camera back to me and said, “Show that to George Bush.” Which was obviously extra funny because of the word bush.) 9. This last rule is the most important to me: you are able to go with the flow in a spontaneous, non-uptight way if you stumble into something amazing that will bump some plan off the day’s schedule. So you missed the freakin’ waterfall—you got invited to a Bahamian family’s post-Christening barbecue where you danced with three generations of locals in a backyard under flower-strewn balconies. You won. Shut the hell up about the waterfall. Sally

A Little Love from Karena I have a confession: I have cellulite. Yup. Dimples on the derriere, lumps and bumps on the back of my thighs. A lot of women have this, whether they’re in killer shape or not. Ever since I met Kat, who has the best booty EVER, I’ve worked hard to get it to look like hers. But no matter how many deadlifts or lunges I do, it still doesn’t. Does it look better? Absolutely. Is it perfect? No way (who’s defining “perfect,” anyway?). But I’ve learned to work with what I have. I dry brush and use self-tanner to make my rear view look the best it possibly can, and then I just go with what I’ve got. Up until 7 years ago, I would never wear short shorts because I was afraid of what people would think. Now I rock them because I have the confidence that comes from taking care of myself . . . plus a healthy dose of fierce self-acceptance. Sometimes you’ve just gotta say, “So what?” So take it from me: Flaunt it, no matter what. If someone is judging you, that’s their problem, not yours! You’re healthy, you’re in shape, and you’re taking fantastic care of yourself, inside and out. You’re Fit, Fierce, and Fabulous, and anyone who has a thing to say about a dimple on the back of your thigh clearly just doesn’t get it!

We have heard that a few days after this, when the Provincetown Bank was robbed, speedy emissaries from Provincetown made particular inquiries concerning us at this lighthouse. Indeed, they traced us all the way down the Cape, and concluded that we came by this unusual route down the back side and on foot in order that we might discover a way to get off with our booty when we had committed the robbery. The Cape is so long and narrow, and so bare withal, that it is well-nigh impossible for a stranger to visit it without the knowledge of its inhabitants generally, unless he is wrecked on to it in the night. So, when this robbery occurred, all their suspicions seem to have at once centered on us two travelers who had just passed down it. If we had not chanced to leave the Cape so soon, we should probably have been arrested. The real robbers were two young men from Worcester County who traveled with a centre-bit, and are said to have done their work very neatly. But the only bank that we pried into was the great Cape Cod sand-bank, and we robbed it only of an old French crown piece, some shells and pebbles, and the materials of this story.

I know for a fact that I would be awful if I was built like Serena Williams or Jennifer Lopez... If I had a body remotely close to what they have, I would be a terror. My ass would cause me to do really inappropriate and rude things. I'd be so ridiculous that people would be able to pick my labia out of a lineup. I'd wear zero clothes any- and everywhere, every day. I'd show up at church rocking a denim thong and a cropped T-shirt and have the nerve to sit right next to the head usher and dare her to say anything to me. And if anyone did say something to me, I'd tell them, "Jesus blessed me in many ways, and I am just showing off His works. HALLELUJAH." People would be disgusted and appalled by me and I wouldn't care. All insults would bounce off my ample backside. To whom much is given, much is required, and I'd require that my much would be given nary an inch of fabric. I'd hire a band whose sole job would be to follow me around and play theme music for my yansh, based on the mood I was in... I might opt to walk backwards into any room I entered, because why not?... I might also declare my booty its own limited liability corporation, assigning myself as CEO and chairman of the Donk. My jeans would be tax-deductible business expenses, and I would add my ass to my LinkedIn profile's Skills section. Everyone would throw hate ration in my dancery, and I wouldn't even see it, protected as I would be by the throne I sat atop.

A massive ball of brown water, uprooted tree trunks, sheared rooftops, bloated horses, stiff dogs and cats, shattered church windows, broken pews, sodden Bibles, Memorial Day flags, busted brick walls, twisted train cars, splintered rail lines, bowed streetlamps, upturned carriages, naked dolls, bent tin soldiers, dented red wagons, books, black stoves, beds, tables, armchairs, mantels, photographs, love letters, wedding dresses, baby booties, and masses of drowned humanity careens straight for us. Neither Eugene Eggar nor I can move.

In the valleys, it was already night, lamps coming on in the mossy, textured loam, the fresh-smelling darkness expanding, unfolding its foliage. The three of them drank Old Monk, watched as the black climbed all the way past their toes and their knees, the cabbage-leafed shadows reaching out and touching them on their cheeks, noses, enveloping their faces. The black climbed over the tops of their heads and on to extinguish Kachenjunga glowing a last brazen pornographic pink... each of them separately remembered how many evenings they'd spent like this... how unimaginable it was that they would soon come to an end. Here Sai had learned how music, alcohol, and friendship together could create a grand civilization. "Nothing so sweet, dear friends -" Uncle Potty would say raising his glass before he drank. There were concert halls in Europe to which Father Booty would soon return, opera houses where music molded entire audiences into a single grieving or celebrating heart, and where the applause rang like a downpour... But could they feel as they did here? Hanging over the mountain, hearts half empty-half full, longing for beauty, for innocence that now knows. With passion for the beloved or for the wide world or for worlds beyond this one... Sai thought of how it had been unclear to her what exactly she longed for in the early days at Cho Oyu, that only the longing itself found its echo in her aching soul. The longing was gone now, she thought, and the ache seemed to have found its substance.

In the earliest strand of the conquest narratives, Joshua's violence was associated with an ancient Canaanite custom called the "ban" (herem). Before a battle, a military leader would strike a deal with his god: if this deity undertook to give him the city, the commander promised to "devote" (HRM) all valuable loot to his temple and offer the conquered people to him in a human sacrifice. Joshua had made such a pact with Yahweh before attacking Jericho, and Yahweh responded by delivering the town to Israel in a specular miracle, causing its famous walls to collapse when the priests blew their rams' horns. Before allowing his troops to storm the city, Joshua explained the terms of the ban and stipulated that no one in the city should be spared, since everybody and everything in the town had been "devoted" to Yahweh. Accordingly, the Israelites "enforced the ban on everything in the town, men, and women, young and old, even the oxen and sheep and donkeys, massacring them all." But the ban had been violated when one of the soldiers kept booty for himself, and consequently the Israelites failed to take the town of Ai the following day. After the culprit had been found and executed, the Israelites attached Ai again, this time successfully, setting fire to the city so that it became a sacrificial pyre and slaughtering anybody who tried to escape: "The number of those who fell that day, men and women together, were twelve thousand all (the) people of Ai." Finally Joshua hanged the king from a tree, built a monumental cairn over his body, and reduced the city to "a ruin for ever more, a desolate place, even today.

Ione III. TO-DAY my skies are bare and ashen, And bend on me without a beam. Since love is held the master-passion, Its loss must be the pain supreme — And grinning Fate has wrecked my dream. But pardon, dear departed Guest, I will not rant, I will not rail; For good the grain must feel the flail; There are whom love has never blessed. I had and have a younger brother, One whom I loved and love to-day As never fond and doting mother Adored the babe who found its way From heavenly scenes into her day. Oh, he was full of youth's new wine, — A man on life's ascending slope, Flushed with ambition, full of hope; And every wish of his was mine. A kingly youth; the way before him Was thronged with victories to be won; so joyous, too, the heavens o'er him Were bright with an unchanging sun, — His days with rhyme were overrun. Toil had not taught him Nature's prose, Tears had not dimmed his brilliant eyes, And sorrow had not made him wise; His life was in the budding rose. I know not how I came to waken, Some instinct pricked my soul to sight; My heart by some vague thrill was shaken, — A thrill so true and yet so slight, I hardly deemed I read aright. As when a sleeper, ign'rant why, Not knowing what mysterious hand Has called him out of slumberland, Starts up to find some danger nigh. Love is a guest that comes, unbidden, But, having come, asserts his right; He will not be repressed nor hidden. And so my brother's dawning plight Became uncovered to my sight. Some sound-mote in his passing tone Caught in the meshes of my ear; Some little glance, a shade too dear, Betrayed the love he bore Ione. What could I do? He was my brother, And young, and full of hope and trust; I could not, dared not try to smother His flame, and turn his heart to dust. I knew how oft life gives a crust To starving men who cry for bread; But he was young, so few his days, He had not learned the great world's ways, Nor Disappointment's volumes read. However fair and rich the booty, I could not make his loss my gain. For love is dear, but dearer, duty, And here my way was clear and plain. I saw how I could save him pain. And so, with all my day grown dim, That this loved brother's sun might shine, I joined his suit, gave over mine, And sought Ione, to plead for him. I found her in an eastern bower, Where all day long the am'rous sun Lay by to woo a timid flower. This day his course was well-nigh run, But still with lingering art he spun Gold fancies on the shadowed wall. The vines waved soft and green above, And there where one might tell his love, I told my griefs — I told her all! I told her all, and as she hearkened, A tear-drop fell upon her dress. With grief her flushing brow was darkened; One sob that she could not repress Betrayed the depths of her distress. Upon her grief my sorrow fed, And I was bowed with unlived years, My heart swelled with a sea of tears, The tears my manhood could not shed. The world is Rome, and Fate is Nero, Disporting in the hour of doom. God made us men; times make the hero — But in that awful space of gloom I gave no thought but sorrow's room. All — all was dim within that bower, What time the sun divorced the day; And all the shadows, glooming gray, Proclaimed the sadness of the hour. She could not speak — no word was needed; Her look, half strength and half despair, Told me I had not vainly pleaded, That she would not ignore my prayer. And so she turned and left me there, And as she went, so passed my bliss; She loved me, I could not mistake — But for her own and my love's sake, Her womanhood could rise to this! My wounded heart fled swift to cover, And life at times seemed very drear. My brother proved an ardent lover — What had so young a man to fear? He wed Ione within the year. No shadow clouds her tranquil brow, Men speak her husband's name with pride, While she sits honored at his side —

From being a tiny, despised community, the Muslims were now a force with which the pagans of Arabia had to reckon—and they began to strike terror in the hearts of their enemies. Muhammad’s claim to be the last prophet of the One, True God appeared validated by a victory against enormous odds. With this victory, certain attitudes and assumptions were being planted in the minds of Muslims, which remain with many of them to this day. These include: Allah will grant victory to his people against foes that are superior in numbers or firepower, so long as they remain faithful to his commands. Victories entitle the Muslims to appropriate the possessions of the vanquished as booty. Bloody vengeance against one’s enemies belongs not solely to the Lord, but also to those who submit to him on earth. That is the meaning of the word Islam: submission. Prisoners taken in battle against the Muslims may be put to death at the discretion of Muslim leaders. Those who reject Islam are “the vilest of creatures” (Qur’an 98:6) and thus deserve no mercy. Anyone who insults or even opposes Muhammad or his people deserves a humiliating death—by beheading if possible. (This is in accordance with Allah’s command to “smite the necks” of the “unbelievers” (Qur’an 47:4)). Above all, the battle of Badr was the first practical example of what came to be known as the Islamic doctrine of jihad—a doctrine that holds the key to the understanding of both the Crusades and the conflicts of today.

Around Christmas 2003, we visited Chris’s parents in Texas. I found myself exceptionally hungry, though I couldn’t figure out why. When we came back to California, I just felt something was off. Could I be…pregnant? Nah. I bought a pregnancy test just in case. Chris and I had always planned to have children, but we weren’t in a rush about it. In fact, we had only recently decided to be “a little less careful.” It was a compromise between our spontaneous impulses and our careful planning instincts, which we both shared. We figured, if it happens somewhere in the next year… I was upstairs in the house working when I decided to take a break and check things out. Wow. WOW!!! Chris happened to be home fiddling with something in the garage. I ran downstairs, holding the stick in my hand. When I got there, I held it up, waving. “Hey, babe,” he said, looking at me as if I were waving a sword. “Come here,” I said. “I have to show you something.” He came over. I showed him the stick. “Okay?” “Look!” “What is it?” “Look at this!” Obviously, he wasn’t familiar with home pregnancy tests. Maybe that’s a guy thing-given that the tests reveal either your worst nightmare or one of the most exciting events of your life. I’d wager every woman in America knows what they are and how they work. Slowly it dawned on him. “Oh my God,” he said, stunned. “Are you…?” “Yes!” We confirmed it at the doctor’s soon after. I know you’re supposed to wait something like twelve weeks before telling anyone-there’s so much that can go wrong-but we couldn’t keep that kind of secret to ourselves for more than a few days. We ended up sending packages with an ultrasound and baby booties-one pink, one blue-to our parents, telling them we had a late Christmas surprise and to call us so we could be on the phone when they opened them.

Knox was buttoning his shirt a few days later when Harper walked into the closet, streaks of lemon paint on her face and clothes. She looked so damn cute that he had to smile. Then he noticed she was carrying a hamper. “What’s that you have there, baby?” “It’s a gift basket from Lou.” She held up a card that read, ‘Some stuff for Baby L.’ “I found it on the dining room table.” It was the third gift that Lou had sent. Knox sighed. “I’m not sure there’s any way to get him to stop.” Harper pulled out little white hats, booties, bodysuits, mittens, and sleepsuits from the basket. As she unfolded one particular bodysuit, she sighed and then turned it to face him. It read, ‘This Baby Got Back.

Later that day at the hospital, I chose to wear my boots with my scrubs. I assisted on an angioplasty and when Abbie, the scrub nurse, looked down at the booties over my boots, she laughed. “What?” Smiling, she said, “I like your boots. I didn’t take you for a cowboy.” “It’s a state of mind, Abbie, plain and simple.” “We’ve all been calling you Hollywood.” I laughed loudly. “I will spare you my John Wayne impression.

These artists of war are active even when their societies are officially at peace, quests for power being unrelenting, and in the absence of open hostilities they can be found either hunting for ever-present enemies within or otherwise divvying up that booty always conveniently proximate to those capable of wanton slaughter, spoils these days often cloaked in purchasing contracts and share-price movements.

Kettlebell swings are a nearly perfect way to use your skeleton; it is totally involved in your task of swinging the weight up out in front of you. Not just bones, but tendons, other connective tissue, and of course, muscles, are challenged and strengthened.

Kettlebell swings attack metabolic syndrome head on. First, they build muscle and reduce fat, both keys to the disorder. Fat build up, especially in the abdominal area, can be halted and reversed with kettlebell swings (and the other recommendations in this book). The muscles the swings produce help use up glucose and insulin, both toxic when levels are too high in the blood.

Except in some specific training you might wish to do, your twelve minutes of daily kettlebell swings are not done at once. As a matter of fact, eight hourly sessions, each just 90 seconds long, are your best pattern for preventing metabolic diseases. Two other excellent patterns are one-minute of kettlebell swings each hour, 12 times a day or two-minutes of swings 6 times a day.

A recent Danish study that investigated using kettlebell swings to reduce back pain, started desk workers who suffered work related back pain with 17.5 pound (8 kg.) kettlebells for women and 26.5 pound (12 kg.) for men. Your prime purchase goal for a kettlebell is one that enables your 90-second, 54-swing sessions. The 54 swing target is a goal that you approach slowly. Many people will find a 20 pound (8kg.) weight satisfactory for their 54 swings. As you are building up your time swinging from 30 seconds, to 60 seconds, to 90 seconds(about 18, 36 and 54 swings), your repetitions are more important than the weight. Work your way up to more weight and to more swings. Eventually, a weight of about 20% of your body weight provides a reasonable but challenging lift. A 150 pound man or woman would be swinging a 30 pound (13.6 kg.).

This concept can seem a little daunting when doing your first swings. These first swings can feel tiring, as I described my first 25 swings with a 30 pound weight. This is not unlike the first minutes of a jog, where sometimes the transition from resting state to vigorous exercise seems punishing. Within minutes of beginning jogging, though, your body adjusts to the new workload and any unpleasantness is reduced. The same occurs with kettlebell swings and soon you realize that your 50th swing feels no more tiring, even less so, than your tenth swing.

Your twelve minutes of daily kettlebell swings could theoretically be done in one 12 minute stretch. Doing so might provide the most cardiovascular benefits, as the session would move your heart rate up into the training zone nearly immediately, and keep it there for some minutes.  These long minutes with your heart in the training zone provide huge cardiovascular conditioning and risk reduction benefits.

On the other hand, quickly bringing your heart rate up, repeatedly, as in the case of interval training, also provides cardiovascular benefits. Just as interval sprints are superior to plain jogging in providing cardiovascular conditioning, it may well be the one minute, or 90 second, or two minute kettlebell swing sessions provide even more benefits than one long session.

Some trainers advocate 2 minute swing sessions, claiming that the 120 seconds of continuous exercise is better for the cardiovascular system as it keeps the heart rate up longer in the training zone. A big advantage of 2 minute swing sessions is that you only need six daily sessions to get your 12 minutes.

To accomplish eight 90-second kettlebell swing sessions, you need to start early. Ideally, you will have done 4 sessions by noon and 4 more during the rest of the afternoon and evening. Remember, getting up and doing your swings is the price you pay for your great health, outstanding body and high endurance.

One good way to accomplish these sessions is to have your watch give an hourly beep or buzz.  As one session per hour is nearly ideal, this reminder works out really well. It is surprising, though, how often it seems to beep.

Instead of counting your swings, you can use your mobile device’s clock timer function. I tell my Android device, “set timer for 90 seconds.” When the timer appears I say “start” and it counts down. I know that 90 seconds later I will have done 54 kettlebell swings. When the time is up, I can tell it, “set timer for one hour,” and it will alarm 60 minutes later, reminding me to swing again

Your mobile device also offers apps that chime once an hour (or as set up.) You will find your ability to actually accomplish the swings greatly boosted by having these frequent reminders. It can quickly become a point of pride to do your 90 second kettlebell swing session when you hear the hourly chime. Ignored chimes tend to grate on one, but also motivate to not let another hour pass without quick exercise.

am 100% committed to following the Badass plan. ________ I will “show up” for myself for 21 days of this program and do exactly what the plan recommends. ________ I will get rid of tempting foods in my house, and I will replace them with nutritious ones. ________ I will prioritize my health and fitness from this day forward. ________ I will make body-honoring choices, day by day. ________ I agree that the plan is a lifestyle that I’m developing, not something I pick up and put down when I need it. ________ I understand that to take care of my body is to nurture the most valuable physical resource I have.

SpottieOttieDopaliscious [Hook] Damn damn damn James [Verse 1: Sleepy Brown] Dickie shorts and Lincoln's clean Leanin', checking out the scene Gangsta boys, blizzes lit Ridin' out, talkin' shit Nigga where you wanna go? You know the club don't close 'til four Let's party 'til we can't no more Watch out here come the folks (Damn - oh lord) [Verse 2: André 3000] As the plot thickens it gives me the dickens Reminiscent of Charles a lil' discotheque Nestled in the ghettos of Niggaville, USA Via Atlanta, Georgia a lil' spot where Young men and young women go to experience They first li'l taste of the night life Me? Well I've never been there; well perhaps once But I was so engulfed in the Olde E I never made it to the door you speak of, hardcore While the DJ sweatin' out all the problems And the troubles of the day While this fine bow-legged girl fine as all outdoors Lulls lukewarm lullabies in your left ear Competing with "Set it Off," in the right But it all blends perfectly let the liquor tell it "Hey hey look baby they playin' our song" And the crowd goes wild as if Holyfield has just won the fight But in actuality it's only about 3 A.M And three niggas just don' got hauled Off in the ambulance (sliced up) Two niggas don' start bustin' (wham wham) And one nigga don' took his shirt off talkin' 'bout "Now who else wanna fuck with Hollywood Courts?" It's just my interpretation of the situation [Hook] [Verse 3: Big Boi] Yes, when I first met my SpottieOttieDopalicious Angel I can remember that damn thing like yesterday The way she moved reminded me of a Brown Stallion Horse with skates on, ya know Smooth like a hot comb on nappy ass hair I walked up on her and was almost paralyzed Her neck was smelling sweeter Than a plate of yams with extra syrup Eyes beaming like four karats apiece just blindin' a nigga Felt like I chiefed a whole O of that Presidential My heart was beating so damn fast Never knowing this moment would bring another Life into this world Funny how shit come together sometimes (ya dig) One moment you frequent the booty clubs and The next four years you & somebody's daughter Raisin' y'all own young'n now that's a beautiful thang That's if you're on top of your game And man enough to handle real life situations (that is) Can't gamble feeding baby on that dope money Might not always be sufficient but the United Parcel Service & the people at the Post Office Didn't call you back because you had cloudy piss So now you back in the trap just that, trapped Go on and marinate on that for a minute

Bright were the memories of his childhood at these docks, to which he had been ever drawn by the allure of the stranger traders as they swung into their berths like weary and weathered heroes returned from some elemental war. In those days it was uncommon to see the galleys of the Freemen Privateers ease into the bay, sleek and riding low with booty. They hailed from such mysterious ports as Filman Orras, Fort By a Half, Dead Man's Story, and exile; names that rang of adventure in the ears of a lad who had never seen his home city from outside its walls. The man slowed as he reached the foot of the stone pier. The years between him and that lad marched through his mind, a possession of martial images growing ever grimmer. If he searched out the many crossroads he had come to in the past, he saw their skies storm-warped, the lands ragged and wind-torn. The forces of age and experience worked on them now, and whatever choices he had made then seemed fated and almost desperate.

The early Iditarod dogs were tough and hearty and so were the people who ran these teams. The first races took many days/weeks. During these early Iditarod runs, there were no headlights, no booties except the rare hand-sewn seal-skin bootie, no reflective trail markers (spruce boughs if anything), no quick-change runners, and no pre-race drop-bags assigned to each checkpoint. The mushers that ran were experts in survivalist arctic living and elite dog-men; many times these individuals were the trail-breakers as Iditarod was a trail and not a highway at that time. I remember air dropping dog food to the mushers at Poorman, they were snowshoeing in front of their teams. Mushers camped ang rested at night. The dogs were more trap-line dogs than anything. Today's Iditarod dogs are trained better and selected for more speed. (From the foreword by Terry O. Adkins)

Men these days want it all: a pretty face, large breasts, and a bootylicious ass on a petite frame. Even the drastic advancements in mankind haven’t clued them in on the fact that the likelihood of a woman having both a booty and a tiny waist is virtually impossible.

I like my body. She’s a good body and it’s taken me years to come to terms with the fact that I can love her even if the media tells me she’s not up to the standards they expect. I simply don’t care anymore because I’m happy in my skin and I refuse to spend my days hating it because some person back in the day decided I should have a tiny waist, a big booty, and huge breasts. My body is soft and squishy in places and flat in others, and it’s perfect for me.

Practically, how can you begin if you find yourself in a challenging situation? Do this: begin with a half-day Sabbath. Just half a day. Turn your phone off. Make some pancakes. Go on a walk. Pray. Pull out your journal. Read a psalm out loud. God will meet you. And as you enter into the Sabbath rest that God eternally beckons you into, you will find that your heart is being slowly transformed. You may just find yourself hooked. God will provide in some way. Never forget all the “booty stories” in the Bible. Every time God sends his people on a journey—be it through the desert, on the way to the promised land, as disciples with Jesus—he provides for them in unique and special ways. As Israel leaves Egypt to enter the journey to freedom, they receive riches and provisions (booty) from the Egyptians as they leave. They never went on a journey without provision. That is the God we follow. He sends us into the desert with a provision of rest.

The two handed kettlebell swing is the foundation of all kettlebell exercises. It is very dynamic, involving swinging a heavy weight in a five foot arc, quickly repeated. The quick and continuous movement is very different in look and feel than most strength training. It offers an extremely quick way to be gaining, in just a few seconds, heart healthy cardiovascular exercise along with a body shaping muscular workout.

This single exercise, when repeated enough, provides huge benefits in fat loss, muscle gain and cardiovascular conditioning.  Perhaps more than any other exercise, the kettlebell swing helps you slim down, pack on muscle and give your heart a healthy workout. This is why an entire book is devoted to it and to helping you do the swings that will revolutionize your fitness, strength and endurance.

The basic core kettlebell swings at the heart of your new fit and fierce life require some planning and execution. Healthy as they are and quick as they build muscle and fitness, kettlebell swings require effort. The benefits don’t come for free, but from hundreds of kettlebell swings each day.

In terms of preventing the sitting diseases, getting up out of the chair many times daily to do the exercise is one of the key benefits. Whichever your choice of 12, 8 or 6 sessions a day, you have to get up and actually do them.

Doing one 12 minute session, then sitting all day would be less effective in combating sitting metabolic disorders. Short sessions are better than other ways, too. A heavier kettlebell can be managed when swinging for minute and a half, versus 12 minutes. A 12 minute, 432 swing session would require a lighter weight than a 90 second exercise.  Muscle growth would be less robust with the lighter weight, although the 12 minutes at lighter weight makes for great endurance training.

As with all weight training, breathing is very important in kettlebell swings. This is covered more later, but basically the rule is to exhale on the lift phase, that is, as the weight being boosted and is swinging up. Inhale as the weight drops back down.

The kettlebell swing involves holding the kettlebell overhand with both hands, swinging it behind and back through the legs in a hiking football motion, and then swinging up and out in front, powered by a snap of the hips. The swing momentum slows and stops with the kettlebell up at shoulder level, and then you guide it down again through your legs as you hinge forward.

Swinging the kettlebell tones the core and the muscles of the posterior chain, such as hamstrings and glutes. The swing replicates natural work movements of which we used to do a lot more, such as shoveling. The basic lifting motion is part of everyday need, such as lifting a child or hefting a bag of groceries.

This book asks quite a lot of you in your quest to be fit and fierce. Twelve minutes of exercise, though astoundingly short in terms of the benefits they provide, is still not trivial. You are swinging a heavy weight for dozens, even hundreds of times a day. There had better be a pretty good reason why. There is! The kettlebell swing, with its mix of cardiovascular effort and fat-burning, muscle-building, strength-training may well be the best single exercise! Your kettlebell swings reward you, per swing, and per minute: • You look better! Fat loss, muscle tuning, body shaping, booty toning and posture improvement benefit your appearance, just as they improve your endurance, strength and health. • Your body is reshaped rapidly and muscles strengthened by your swings. Flab on your arms is replaced by functional muscle. Flabby thighs become sleek. • Your training makes you smarter. Well, at least helps you think better. Your swings flood your brain with fresh, oxygenated blood and top it off with a dose of testosterone. • Your general physical abilities improve markedly. You are better able to move, to carry things, to pick up kids, to play sports, to make love, to respond to emergencies with strength and endurance. • Your swings help your posture, allowing you to stand tall. The posterior chain, so well worked with kettlebell swings, includes the key posture muscles. • Your training makes your butt look smaller! Actually your butt becomes shapelier, as the gluteal muscles in the buttocks are key lifters of the kettlebell. You strengthen and shape you entire posterior chain. This focused exercise lifts, firms, tightens and highlights these assets. Each swing makes your butt look better! • The kettlebell swing may be the most effective single exercise for your heart. Swinging the weight rapidly brings your heart into the training zone.

Your kettlebell exercises strengthen your bones and fight osteoporosis. • Kettlebell swings are great for the back and can help overcome back pain and immobility. • Kettlebell swings are the fastest exercise. You can go from sitting to full exertion in seconds and be all done in little over a minute. • With your daily workouts, you will be fierce. And why not? You are slimmer, harder, taller, smarter, fitter, and your booty be bad! The twelve minutes are not done at once. As a matter of fact, eight sessions, each 90 seconds long may be optimal for exertion and spacing for maximizing metabolic risk protection.  Eight sessions has you exercising frequently throughout the day, in quick, easy sessions. Well, quick at least. Your twelve minutes is roughly the cardiovascular equivalent of running an eight minute mile pace for a mile and a half in 12 minutes. A moderate daily aerobic workout is a key component of nearly any health regimen.  It is very good for your heart health to raise your heart rate and respiration with cardiovascular exercise on a daily basis. In many ways, the first minute and a half of running a long distance is the most difficult part of a run, as the body shifts from rest to intense exercise. In this same way, the 90 second kettlebell swings are quite intense, as your body adjusts from no-load to heavy exertion immediately. Kettlebell swings represent a type of interval training, a short burst of intense exercise. Twelve minutes a day of kettlebell swings build muscle.  Muscles, generally, are a good thing, helping us be athletic, protecting us from injury, burning lots of calories and basically looking good. Twelve minutes per day is a very short time to build muscle, compared say, to a construction worker doing demanding physical labor all day. The construction worker will be well muscled, but not necessarily better than yourself, because you are harnessing the weight training effect with your kettlebell swings. You can build significant muscle size and strength with just these few minutes each day, while not having to spend the entire day in hard labor.

For the young and healthy, kettlebell swings offer a quick and easy way to gain peak physical form and conditioning. Perhaps more than any other single exercise, kettlebell swings build both endurance and strength. For people at mid-life kettlebells swings help keep off fat, build functional muscle and prevent sitting disease. Seniors have in the kettlebell swing the means to maintain vitality, prevent loss of mobility and fight wasting away from loss of muscle and bone by building new muscle and bone. Don’t act your age; keep yourself young and strong with kettlebell swings. People carrying too much fat often have too little muscle. The kettlebell swings help with both aspects, quickly dropping fat while rapidly building calorie burning muscle tissue.

Getting up out of our work chair, say once an hour, to do 90 seconds of kettlebell swings may well serve as the perfect preventive behavior to the onslaught of metabolic sitting disorders. Don’t let your chair and car seat disable you; fight back with kettlebell swings!

Although the kettlebell swing is great for firming and shaping the arms, they don’t do the main work of lifting the kettlebell. The arms are relaxed, straight or slightly bent during the swings. Lift the kettlebell with a pop through your hips, not your arms. Your arms, forearms and hands will get plenty of exercise just guiding the weight, especially as it drops. No muscle group should feel any specific strain; your muscles groups should be working together.

The entire swing takes less than two seconds; my natural rhythm is 36 swings per minute, about 1.6 seconds per swing. This pace delivers 72 swings in two minutes. 54 swings in about 90 seconds is the basic goal of this book.

Some people beginning kettlebell swings may start with no weight. Just doing the swings with your hands holding an imaginary weight is a great way to start and develop good form. The box squat where you squat back and down over a 20 inch box is another zero-weight exercise that helps strengthen muscles and prepare you for kettlebell swings. Swinging no weight or very light weight offers virtually everyone the opportunity to gain the benefits of kettlebell swings. Overweight individuals or those who have not exercised for a period are wise to get a feel for the swings with no weight.  Alternatively, a kettlebell of five pounds (2.3 kg) offers new users the feel and form of the weight and handles to grip.

Although training intensity can be reduced with lighter weights, especially at first, for full strength and endurance benefits you should eventually be swinging a fairly heavy weight for your minute and a half mini-workouts.

The great news is that this perfect exercise is open to nearly everyone, of all ages and physical conditions. The motion is natural and replicates (and assists in) many daily activities. The intensity of the exercise is directly controllable by how heavy a weight is swung, and for how many swings.

The exercise is also ballistic, which comes from the Greek, to throw.  In the kettlebell swing you do indeed then throw the weight upward, (while holding on to and guiding it), meaning you have to generate force quickly, challenging your rapid-growing fast twitch muscles.

My Lord, the booty of the day is meagre in quantity, but rich in quality. Observe the beauty of this youth.

However, on this day, things were already out of whack by 10 A.M., and it was all Peter Reynolds’s fault. For the first time in her life Nina had a family obligation, and she wasn’t entirely sure she liked it. Peter had texted her at nine, an hour he said was the earliest acceptable time to contact someone on a Sunday. Nina had still been asleep. Somewhat acerbically, she suggested he recalibrate and set her earliest acceptable time to eleven. “No,” said her nephew, “if I make an exception for you, I’ll need to customize my entire system, and that won’t work at all.” “You have a system?” “Of course. There is a standard weekday wake-up time, and a different weekend time. There is a time in the evening after which one cannot call anyone except good friends or lovers, and a time after which one can only call if there is an emergency.” Nina’s phone was lying on her pillow, on speaker. “I assume there’s a booty call exception to that rule.

What is it? What is it?!” I began dumping clothes out of the dresser drawers, snatching them on as quickly as I could before hauling my suitcase and large duffel out of the closet. I would not cry. I would not cry! “Brendan, what was the only fucking thing I asked from you that first night? Do you remember?” He blinked, scrubbing a hand through his tousled hair. “You . . . you asked me to respect you. Which I do, I’m just trying to—” “Oh, really?” I gave him a derisive sneer as I threw wadded clothes into my bags and began slamming about, looking for odds and ends I might have missed. “That’s what you call this? You offer to put me up like your personal rent-boy in some no-tell motel and promise to drop by every few days for a booty call while your wife’s in town, and you think that’s not demeaning? Well, fuck you.

In some ways, kettlebells are astounding. Because of their utter simplicity, they become the most convenient form of exercise equipment possible, amazingly quick and useful. I can be sitting in my desk chair one moment, then on my feet picking up my 40 pound kettlebell the next. In another two seconds I am swinging the kettlebell and just 90 seconds (and 54 swings) later I am finished. I sit back down, huffing and puffing, energized and refreshed.

You should acquire and own at least two kettlebells. They are not cheap, but they still may be the very cheapest and fastest exercise equipment. In terms of a lifelong strength and endurance aid, your kettlebell purchase may be among the best values in your life. Several forms of kettlebells are now available. Probably the best remain the black cast iron bells resembling a cannon ball. Other forms now include various colors, put on with a plastic coating. This coating may degrade with age. Not much degrades a black cast iron bell except rust. Make certain the kettlebell handle is well designed. For a two arm swing, both your hands grip the kettlebell. The handle should be sufficiently long that your hands are comfortable. I hook three fingers of each hand through the handle, with my little finger to the outside. You may try out a number of different weights in kettlebells and graduate to higher weights as your strength builds. They may be purchased in sets with various weights, such as 20, 25 and 30 pounds (9, 11.3, 13.6 kg).

For your 12 minute daily swings, you might well end up with one weight, but you may likely want to own a variety of kettlebells for various exercises. A kettlebell’s weight becomes easier to handle and less challenging as you swing it more and you commonly want to move up weights, so determining a favorite weight is an adjustment process. Still, it is possible to have a favorite weight for your daily 12 minutes recommended in this book.

As you begin swinging kettlebells and work your way up in weights, your first goal is to avoid injury. You may start out with negligible weight, even no weight, especially if you suffer a back or other condition that hinders the swing motion. If you have access to multiple weights, the first weight you might want to pick up may be 10 pounds. This is light enough to prevent any injuries that might result from swinging heavier weights right away.  Using the guidelines from the next chapter, undertake some swings 12 for your first set. If the 12 repetitions seemed fine, do another set, this time for 24 swings. These swings will seem more difficult than later when you are accustomed to the exertion.

Of course, if you are overweight, you would not aim for 20% of your body weight. You could choose a weight based on your body weight goals. Actually, if overweight, you can get by with far lighter kettlebells because you are lifting additional body weight as you do the swings. Find a weight that allows you to work up to 54 swings. Even using a light weight, 54 swings, 8 times a day will be hugely beneficial in allowing you to lose the unwanted fat.

When 30 pounds becomes too light for you, you can then buy individual weights at 35, 40, even 50 or 60 pounds (16kg., 18kg., 23kg., 27kg.). Heavier weights are even better for building muscle and creating strength. Don’t let a few hundred dollars stand between you and your kettlebell sculpted body.

The kettlebell swing seems a simple movement, and it is. But getting your technique down perfectly while adjusting to different, heavier weights in a progression takes some time. Even before swinging the kettlebell warm up with some exercises that prepare your body for the physical challenge.

Twelve minutes of kettlebell swings daily is a fairly high goal. Weekly, you may wish to take a day or two off and do no swings. Swinging kettlebells for 12 minutes on 5 days a week still gives you an hour of exercise and delivers a monthly total of nearly 10,000 swings. Spacing your days off with 3 on, one off, 2 on would give you a rhythm such as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, do swings, Thursday off, Friday and Saturday, do swings, then take Sunday off.

By keeping your spine straight (with its lumbar curve) you help the body focus all of its power on swinging up the kettlebell. By avoiding hunching, you protect yourself from injury. During the swing, your upper body hinges forward, as you squat only slightly. It is important that your back remain straight and immobile, not hunched.

One of the scarier sitting diseases is osteoporosis, thinning of the bones. Our bones are ceaselessly breaking down and rebuilding. But they need some challenge to rebuild. If all one’s time is spent with skeleton and body supported by a chair, our bones don’t get the activity and load they need to become strong. Like anything else, the rule with our skeleton is “use it or lose it.

Alzheimer’s disease and other memory and depressive disorders may well have sitting components. Certainly depression is associated with lack of physical exercise. Aerobic and muscular exercise, such as provided by kettlebell training, has been shown effective in treating depression, and to some extent, Alzheimer ’s disease. In any case, the mental and cognitive effects of exercise are very positive.

One of the maladies of excess sitting is poor posture. Another is back pain. Especially while working at a computer, sitting tends to drag one down into bad posture, slumped, with rounded shoulders and head forward with a vulture neck. Such posture is not pretty and it causes back pain. To best accommodate gravity, the spine should be pretty much vertical with the head over the shoulders, not way out front. When you are slumped with forward head parts of the back are weakened, others are overstrained. Pressures on nerves and connective tissues are uneven and exaggerated. Back pain results.

In addition to getting up out of your chair each hour to do kettlebell swings, you may want to incorporate a couple of other stretches for your posture. One common posture goal is to raise the chest, which directly counteracts rounded shoulders and forward head. Commonly, excess sitting shortens and tightens muscles and connective tissue in the chest. These areas need stretching to allow the chest to rise and shoulder to un-round.

The important thing is to get up out of the chair frequently and engage in the vigorous activity nearly exactly opposite of sitting. That would be the kettlebell swing. Chapter 6 will help schedule and complete your kettlebell swing sessions to best fit your schedule and provide maximum protection from sitting diseases.

Kettlebell swing sessions, spaced throughout the day provide a nearly perfect “antidote” to the sitting diseases. Think about it, performing kettlebell swings is nearly the opposite activity as sitting! You can switch from sitting to swinging the kettlebell in five seconds.

Healthy exercise effects take place as you swing the kettlebell: • Your heart rate suddenly jumps up into training range. • Your blood flows quickly and completely, flushing and feeding cells in the farthest parts of your body. • Your lymph system, now powered by the huge pumping motions of the weighted swings, leaps in to action, optimizing lymph transport in your body. • The amount of calories you are burning suddenly jumps ten-fold. • Disease risky genes are turned off; health promoting genes are turned on. • Your muscles are used strenuously and build quickly. These new muscles respond to insulin, intake and use glucose, as well as strengthening you and just plain looking good. • Your bones, skeleton, cartilage and connective tissue immediately benefit from the precision workloads your swings impose. • Your posterior chain is strengthened (and well formed) by this most perfect exercise for toning your backside. This provides protection against lower back pain. • Your ability to think clearly is boosted by the flush of oxygenated blood to your brain and to every cell of your body.