Bonus Kid Quotes

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.

I've come to the conclusion that it's all about fear- fear that your kid won't come out on top, be a success. Forcing him into these brutal encounters will a) make a dame sure he is a success, and b) all you to see evidence of that success with the added bonus of a cheering crowd. This means that sports are supported with an almost desperate enthusiasm. The football team gets catered dinners before a fame. Honor Society is lucky if it gets a cupcake. Academic success-forget it. That requires too much imagination. There's no scoreboard.

Yeah,” Reid agrees. “There’s a fourth kid, too, who doesn’t perform.” “Like the Bonus Jonas,” I say.

Hey guys!” Hey Boom. “Oooh, is this the introduction?” Yes. Now clear off. You’re in the spotlight. “Oh come on! I wanna be in the story too.” “Clear off Boom! Leave this part to the famous people.” “Famous? Are you kidding? There is no one more famous than the mighty Dr. Boom!” Dude, it’s been what, four books since we last saw you? Our first readers have probably died from old age by now. “LET ME HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT!” NEVER! ON WITH THE STORY! “NOOOOOOOOOOO!

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first; get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.

Interestingly, in terms of shame triggers for women, motherhood is a close second. And (bonus!) you don’t have to be a mother to experience mother shame. Society views womanhood and motherhood as inextricably bound; therefore our value as women is often determined by where we are in relation to our roles as mothers or potential mothers. Women are constantly asked why they haven’t married or, if they’re married, why they haven’t had children. Even women who are married and have one child are often asked why they haven’t had a second child. You’ve had your kids too far apart? “What were you thinking?” Too close? “Why? That’s so unfair to the kids.” If you’re working outside the home, the first question is “What about the children?” If you’re not working, the first question is “What kind of example are you setting for your daughters?” Mother shame is ubiquitous—it’s a birthright for girls and women. But

You are my only prize; the kids are a bonus.' Baba had a way of reassuring Mama of how much she meant to him. Their love story inspired all of us; they exemplified everything that was beautiful about marriage. They worked together as a team, they complemented one another. The sacrifices were many, but they never kept count.

If you ever get married and have kids, and they offer you a job that will take you thirty fucking light-years away from home, tell them to smooch your taint. Even if they offer a hundred percent monthly bonus. You can’t read good-night stories to your bank account, or brush its hair, or teach it how to ride a bike for the first time.

You can’t have a relationship with someone hoping they’ll change. You have to be willing to commit to them as they are, with no expectations. And if they happen to choose to change at some point along the way, then that’s just a bonus. Words start tumbling out of her mouth, concluding with her desire to move in and start a family with me. It sends a chill up my spine, because this is exactly what I want with Ingrid if things work out between us. “You want to move in, stay with me forever, and start a family together?” “Yes,” she says, her eyes widening with equal parts sincerity and supplication. I picture what the future would actually be like with Sage: I imagine us married and raising children—until one day when she feels trapped again, she runs away to Fiji without warning, leaving me to explain to the kids that Mommy left to search for herself and I don’t know when she’s coming back. The winds of ambivalence will continue blowing her back to me and away again, back and away, back and away. They say that love is blind, but it’s trauma that’s blind. Love sees what is.

Circuitry for self-confidence depends on a child’s ability to locate identity over observable behavior; this comes from growing up in a family that focuses more on what’s “inside” a child (enduring qualities, feelings, ideas) than what is “outside” (accomplishments, outcomes, labels). In regard to your child’s sports team, for example, inside stuff might be her effort in practice, her attitude when winning and losing, and her willingness to try new things; outside stuff might be her number of goals or home runs, or labels like “most valuable player.” When it comes to academics, inside stuff might be willingness to try a bonus math problem, spending time on studying, and showing enthusiasm about a subject; outside stuff might be a grade, a test score, or a label like “smartest kid in class.

“Where the hell are you?” he snapped when I answered. “You’re back? Good. So how was—?” “You’re not here.” “Because I’m supposed to be waiting by the gate?” “You know what I mean. Simon said you went to talk to Tori, but you’re not on the property, so I’m really hoping you’re with her.” I glanced at Tori’s back, a half mile away. “Kind of.” “She took off, didn’t she? And you went after her, knowing you aren’t supposed to leave the property unaccompanied.” “Tori needs—” “Tori can look after herself.” “And I can’t?” A growl. He knew better than to answer. Despite my lack of defensive superpowers, I’d gotten myself— and Tori— out of plenty of scrapes. Sometimes, knowing you don’t have the skills to fight can be a bonus. With Tori, overconfidence equals lack of caution and, yes, as Derek would say, common sense. “I’m just going to talk to her,” I said. “I’ll bring her home—” “No, you’ll come back. Right now. That’s an order.” “Well, in that case . . . no.” A louder growl. “Seriously?” I said. “An order? Has that ever worked?” He grumbled something I couldn’t hear and probably didn’t want to. “I’m not kidding, Chloe. Stop running, turn around, and—” “I’ll be back as soon as I catch her. ’Kay? Bye.”

On my next weekend without the kids I went to Nashville to visit her. We had a great weekend. On Monday morning she kissed me goodbye and left for work. I would drive home while she was at work. Only I didn’t go straight home. I went and paid her recruiting officer a little visit. I walked in wearing shorts and a T-shirt so my injuries were fully visible. The two recruiters couldn’t hide the surprise on their faces. I clearly looked like an injured veteran. Not their typical visitor. “I’m here about Jamie Boyd,” I said. One of the recruiters stood up and said, “Yes, I’m working with Jamie Boyd. How can I help you?” I walked to the center of the room between him and the female recruiter who was still seated at her desk and said, “Jamie Boyd is not going to be active duty. She is not going to be a truck driver. She wants to change her MOS and you’re not going to treat her like some high school student. She has a degree. She is a young professional and you will treat her as such.” “Yes, sir, yes, sir. We hold ourselves to a higher standard. We’ll do better. I’m sorry,” he stammered. “You convinced her she can’t change anything. That’s a lie. It’s paperwork. Make it happen.” “Yes, sir, yes, sir.” That afternoon Jamie had an appointment at the recruitment center anyway for more paperwork. Afterward, she called me, and as soon as I answered, without even a hello, she said, “What have you done?” “How were they acting?” I asked, sounding really pleased with myself. “Like I can have whatever I want,” she answered. “You’re welcome. Find a better job.” She wasn’t mad about it. She just laughed and said, “You’re crazy.” “I will always protect you. You were getting screwed over. And I’m sorry you didn’t know about it, but you wouldn’t have let me go if I had told you ahead of time.” “You’re right, but I’m glad you did.” Jamie ended up choosing MP, military police, as her MOS because they offered her a huge signing bonus. We made our reunion official and she quit her job in Nashville to move back to Birmingham. She had a while before basic training, so she moved back in with me. We were both very happy, and as it turned out, some very big changes were about to happen beyond basic training.

The history of American education reform shows not only recurring attacks on veteran educators, but also a number of failed ideas about teaching that keep popping up again and again, like a Whac-A-Mole game at the amusement park. Over the past ten years, cities from Atlanta to Austin to New York have experimented with paying teachers bonuses for higher student test scores. This type of merit pay was attempted in the 1920s, early 1960s, and 1980s. It never worked to broadly motivate teachers or advance outcomes for kids.

Additional Bonus: “Share the Love” Game! “Share the Love” is a special Valentine’s Day, “hearts” dot-to-dot game included in the FREE printables download (see the back of the book for details)! Share the love by drawing lines between the hearts to make squares. The player who shares the most love—by having the most squares—wins the game!   Directions: The first player connects any two of the hearts with a vertical or horizontal line (no diagonals). Then the second player connects any two of the hearts. The players keep taking turns until a square is formed. The player who completes the square puts his or her initial in it, and gets to go again. The player’s turn ends when no other squares can be completed. Keep taking turns until all the hearts on the grid are connected. Count up each player’s initials on the grid. The one with the most squares wins!

After the September 11th tragedy in New York City, people began to tell others what their loved ones, who had been trapped in the twin towers in New York, had said to them in frantic telephone conversations or email messages. Those who received calls from mobile phones from the doomed planes also told their stories. Some re-listened to messages left on answerphones. And as they shared their experiences, it was immediately evident that the same three words kept coming up time and time again. Those words did not refer to size of salary or bonuses, nor to the type of car recently purchased or expensive holidays taken. No. Lovers said them to lovers, husbands to wives, friends to friends and parents to kids: ‘I love you.’ ‘Tell Suzanne, I love her.

Here is your own personal door to the largest bookstore in the world. In it is every book in every edition for every genre. And you will also get paid paid for each book you read (plus a bonus for reviewing it). If you have any questions, here are the authors' contact info. Oh, and don't worry about the kids—we have complimentary nannies and housekeepers on standby." (Heather VanDyne)

Bonus Book!

Numbers from Heaven" by Kurtis C. R. Palmer & Ramona Palmer is the first picture book in the Womb to BLOOM to Classroom series. It has vividly beautiful 3D illustrations that almost leap out of the book's pages, quickly capturing the interest of young ones. From the very first pages, they'd want to follow Zoey, the Zebra and P.B., the Panda Bear, learning and even enhancing the power of their imagination. This book opens to children a whole new world that's not only educational but also fun and worth their time. Parents and their kids can spend precious bonding moments while learning to count and even recognize some colors. The story itself takes the child to simple exercises in counting, allowing the young one to master the number being taught. Zoey's story also contains some mystery that kids can look forward to. As she discovers the treasure chest left by her Grandpa, who knows what wonders await her and her friend as they try to unlock the secret behind each key that they possess! Being the first book in a whole series that promises to teach various subjects, parents and children can definitely look forward to new adventures with Zoey and her friends. I was so happy when the book even presented a bonus animated reading of the story for those who subscribe to their Newsletter. I watched it right away and I couldn't wait to watch for more. I'm certain my nephews would enjoy both the book and the animation as they get to know Zoey and her set of friends. Two thumbs up and five stars for this educational and fun-filled book!

potions require like 2,000+ Brewing skill. The maximum for any skill is normally 1,000, but bonuses from classes can go over that.

We don’t think about saving money very often. When we finally do think about it, our thoughts rarely lead us to save more. To test the extent that the design of digital wallets could influence behavior, Dan and his colleagues conducted a large-scale experiment with thousands of customers of a mobile money-saving system in Kenya. Some participants received two text messages every week: one at the start of the week to remind them to save and another one at the end of the week with a summary of their savings. Other participants got slightly different text reminders: It was framed like it came from their kid, asking them to save for “our future.” Four other groups were bribed (formally known as “financially incentivized”) for saving. The first of these groups got a 10 percent bonus for the first 100 shillings that they saved. The second group got a 20 percent bonus for the first 100 shillings that they saved. The third and fourth groups got the same 10 percent and 20 percent bonuses for the first 100 shillings that they saved, but they got it together with loss aversion. (In these conditions, the researchers placed the full amount of the match—10 or 20 shillings—into their account at the beginning of the week. The participants were told that they would get the match based on how much they saved, and that the amount of the match that they did not save would be taken out of their account. Financially, this loss aversion approach was the same as the regular end-of-the-week match, but the idea was that experiencing money leaving their account would be painful and would get the participants to increase their savings.) A final set of participants received those same text messages plus a golden-colored coin with the numbers 1–24 engraved on it, to indicate the 24 weeks that the plan lasted. These participants were asked to place the coin somewhere visible in their home and scratch with a knife the number for that week to indicate if they saved or not.2 At the end of six months, the treatment that performed spectacularly better than every other was—drumroll please!—the coin. Every other treatment increased savings a bit, but those who received the coin saved about twice as much as those who only received text messages. You might think the winner would have been the 20 percent bonus or maybe the 20 percent bonus with loss aversion—and this is in fact what most people predict would be the most effective way to get people to save—but you’d be wrong.

Berserker A warrior driven by emotion. Particularly anger. Gains bonuses related to critical hits, as well as resistant to many mental status effects such as Charm and Fear. Only class that can access the 'Undying Rage' ultimate, which prevents death for ten seconds upon activation.

I love you,” I tell him, and I climb up to lie on his chest. I turn my head so that my ear is directly over his heart. It’s steady and strong and…mine. “Will you love me forever?” I ask. I lift my head to look into his face. “And a day,” he affirms. “Matt,” I start. I don’t know how to say what I want to say. “You mentioned that it would take a miracle for you to get me pregnant.” “Yeah,” he says quietly. “What if I said that I believe in miracles?” “I’d say you’re wishing for things you can’t have.” He doesn’t stop touching me, so he’s not mad or sad. He’s just resigned to it. “But—” I start. He puts a finger over my lips. “But nothing, Sky,” he says. “You’re my fucking miracle. Not a baby. I don’t need a baby to make me whole. I just need you.” He laughs. “And I get your kids as a bonus. What more could I ask for?” “Matt, could you move in with me?” I ask. I hold my breath as I wait for the answer. “What about Seth?” he asks. “We could have a talk with Seth.” “I’ll talk to him when we go home in the morning.

What happens when you tell an egg a joke? A:

Where is a rabbit’s favorite place to eat? A:

THE BONUS CHARACTERISTICS are not common to all spirited kids, but if your child possesses any of them, you will need to be even more enterprising. Not only are you living with a child who is more, but you’re also faced with the exhaustion of life with a child who is energetic, rarely falls into a predictable sleeping and eating schedule, expresses a strong resistance to new situations and things, and shares fewer rewarding smiles. Don’t despair. These too have their potential.

Some dinosaurs may have been warm-blooded.

I feel this intense pressure to step in and be this amazing “bonus mom.” Everyone expects me to just naturally be maternal and love my step-kids and take care of everything for them. I feel like I do all the hard work of parenting, but I don’t get any of the benefits that bio-parents get. I don’t get love, loyalty, or affection from the kids, no matter how kind I am to them. They never hug me or say thank you. I certainly don’t get acknowledged on Mother’s Day. I really try to be a good stepmom, but I feel like all my efforts are looked at with suspicion or resentment from my step-kids, because they think I’m “trying too hard.” It also feels like my husband wants it both ways. He expects me to love his kids “just like they’re my own,” and he expects me to take care of them and be involved and support them and help raise them. But then he gets defensive and territorial, and he resists my input if I try to be involved in any actual parenting, because they’re “his” kids, not mine. And his ex-wife gets threatened, and she basically tells me to “butt out and stay in my place.” So, my husband and his ex both expect me to help them do the hard work of parenting and provide childcare for them, but only on their terms. Apparently, I don’t get a place at the decision-making table. I feel like an unpaid babysitter, not a partner. And it seems like the harder I work and the nicer I am, the less anyone appreciates me. I can’t win.

146. Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours? A: Nacho cheese.

The sweetest part was my kids—Jaden, Willow, and my bonus son, Trey—my three favorite people in the world. They were, hands down, the best thing that ever happened to me.

Addiction If some scientists believe that “if-then” motivators and other extrinsic rewards resemble prescription drugs that carry potentially dangerous side effects, others believe they’re more like illegal drugs that foster a deeper and more pernicious dependency. According to these scholars, cash rewards and shiny trophies can provide a delicious jolt of pleasure at first, but the feeling soon dissipates—and to keep it alive, the recipient requires ever larger and more frequent doses. The Russian economist Anton Suvorov has constructed an elaborate econometric model to demonstrate this effect, configured around what’s called “principal-agent theory.” Think of the principal as the motivator—the employer, the teacher, the parent. Think of the agent as the motivatee—the employee, the student, the child. A principal essentially tries to get the agent to do what the principal wants, while the agent balances his own interests with whatever the principal is offering. Using a blizzard of complicated equations that test a variety of scenarios between principal and agent, Suvorov has reached conclusions that make intuitive sense to any parent who’s tried to get her kids to empty the garbage. By offering a reward, a principal signals to the agent that the task is undesirable. (If the task were desirable, the agent wouldn’t need a prod.) But that initial signal, and the reward that goes with it, forces the principal onto a path that’s difficult to leave. Offer too small a reward and the agent won’t comply. But offer a reward that’s enticing enough to get the agent to act the first time, and the principal “is doomed to give it again in the second.” There’s no going back. Pay your son to take out the trash—and you’ve pretty much guaranteed the kid will never do it again for free. What’s more, once the initial money buzz tapers off, you’ll likely have to increase the payment to continue compliance. As Suvorov explains, “Rewards are addictive in that once offered, a contingent reward makes an agent expect it whenever a similar task is faced, which in turn compels the principal to use rewards over and over again.” And before long, the existing reward may no longer suffice. It will quickly feel less like a bonus and more like the status quo—which then forces the principal to offer larger rewards to achieve the same effect.

Ma’am, my mother was a single parent after my father passed away, and Black to boot. And she raised her three Black kids on a teacher’s salary, and somehow managed to never hit us. Not once.” Drew is breathing hard. “Added bonus? We’re all still alive.” “Eat shit.” “You first.

THE PRAISED GENERATION HITS THE WORKFORCE Are we going to have a problem finding leaders in the future? You can’t pick up a magazine or turn on the radio without hearing about the problem of praise in the workplace. We could have seen it coming. We’ve talked about all the well-meaning parents who’ve tried to boost their children’s self-esteem by telling them how smart and talented they are. And we’ve talked about all the negative effects of this kind of praise. Well, these children of praise have now entered the workforce, and sure enough, many can’t function without getting a sticker for their every move. Instead of yearly bonuses, some companies are giving quarterly or even monthly bonuses. Instead of employee of the month, it’s the employee of the day. Companies are calling in consultants to teach them how best to lavish rewards on this overpraised generation. We now have a workforce full of people who need constant reassurance and can’t take criticism. Not a recipe for success in business, where taking on challenges, showing persistence, and admitting and correcting mistakes are essential. Why are businesses perpetuating the problem? Why are they continuing the same misguided practices of the overpraising parents, and paying money to consultants to show them how to do it? Maybe we need to step back from this problem and take another perspective. If the wrong kinds of praise lead kids down the path of entitlement, dependence, and fragility, maybe the right kinds of praise can lead them down the path of hard work and greater hardiness. We have shown in our research that with the right kinds of feedback even adults can be motivated to choose challenging tasks and confront their mistakes. What would this feedback look or sound like in the workplace? Instead of just giving employees an award for the smartest idea or praise for a brilliant performance, they would get praise for taking initiative, for seeing a difficult task through, for struggling and learning something new, for being undaunted by a setback, or for being open to and acting on criticism. Maybe it could be praise for not needing constant praise! Through a skewed sense of how to love their children, many parents in the ’90s (and, unfortunately, many parents of the ’00s) abdicated their responsibility. Although corporations are not usually in the business of picking up where parents left off, they may need to this time. If businesses don’t play a role in developing a more mature and growth-minded workforce, where will the leaders of the future come from?

DAY 11

…correcting minor facts when I’m telling a story.” Unless you’re in court, it’s probably okay if your husband gets a couple inconsequential facts wrong when he’s telling an amusing story to a group of friends. If you can add some helpful context or bonus humor to the tale, go for it. Rita and I often tag-team when we tell stories about our kids. But if he says the baseball tournament was in Appleton, and it was actually in Oshkosh, what difference does it make?

Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit? A: Anywhere it wants.

If an employer pays to train workers, what’s to stop another company from luring them away once they’re skilled? The second firm could offer a signing bonus that costs them less than the training and still make out like bandits. Paying to train a worker is risky, and risk costs money. The more capital new employees already have built in when they enter the labor market, the less risky for their employer, whoever that ends up being. As American capitalism advanced, the training burden fell to the state, and then to families and kids themselves.

I have a friend with an incredibly demanding job that he doesn't particularly enjoy. But he puts up with it because he makes a lot of money, much more than he could make working for another company of doing something else. He has high blood pressure. His children get older every year. He complains about the stresses of his life and asks for my advice. Quit your job, I tell him. Earn less money. Spend more time with your wife and kids. Be happier. I can’t, he says. I have all these big deals in the works. Let me win those contracts, bag those bonuses. Next year I'll quit and slow down. But when next year comes along, he tells me about the new deals and the new bonuses. Next year is always a year away. Every year his salary grows. Every few years he moves into a bigger house and gets a new car. Is he happier? Evidently not. Despite the larger salary and the bigger house and the nicer car, he's not content. “Just one more year”, he says, “then I’ll have enough

Silent Night.

tell

A: He had no-BODY to go with

What’s the fruitiest subject at school? History, because it’s full of dates!

You’ve heard of voodoo economics perhaps? Money magic is the most pervasive of all. Of course it would be, since money itself is the ultimate magic, a piece of paper that can do everything. Everyone wants good money magic, a way to win the lottery, gambling luck, an unexpected check in the mail, but the money magic of everyday life is more often bad. Win some money, get a bonus, have a little inheritance, and a major appliance will go out, the kid will get sick, a tire will go flat. Once you’re as poor as you were before the money arrived, life returns to normal. It’s as though there’s some kind of balance sheet that makes sure we stay at exactly the same level of prosperity all the time.

Ankylosaurus