Backyard Camping Quotes

Every time you look up at the stars, it’s like opening a door. You could be anyone, anywhere. You could be yourself at any moment in your life. You open that door and you realize you’re the same person under the same stars. Camping out in the backyard with your best friend, eleven years old. Sixteen, driving alone, stopping at the edge of the city, looking up at the same stars. Walking a wooded path, kissing in the moonlight, look up and you’re eleven again. Chasing cats in a tiny town, you’re eleven again, you’re sixteen again. You’re in a rowboat. You’re staring out the back of a car. Out here where the world begins and ends, it’s like nothing ever stops happening.

Oh, by the way," Coop announces as he weaves his DeathBot ship through a barrage of space debris on his laptop screen. "In case you didn't know. It's national 'That's What She Said' Day." I give him a thumbs-up. "I like it." We're camping out in Sean's backyard tonight. It's another one of our traditions. One night, every summer, we buy a ton of junk food and energy drinks and set up Sean's six-person tent in the far corner of his yard. We've got an extension cord running from the garage so that we can rough it in style, with computers and a TV and DVD player. There's a citronella candle burning in the middle of the tent to ward off mosquitoes and to mask the thick stink of mildew. Everyone's brought sleeping bags and pillows, but we aren't planning on logging too many Zs. Sean enters the tent carrying his Xbox. "I don't think there are enough sockets for all of these." I waggle my eyebrows at Coop. "That's what she said." Coop busts up. Sean stands there, looking confused. "I don't get it." "That's what she says," Coop says, sending him and me into hysterics. Sean sighs and puts the Xbox down. "I can see this is going to be a long night." "That's what she said," me and Coop howl in chorus. "Are you guys done yet?" Coop is practically in tears. "That's what she said." "Okay. I'll just keep my mouth shut," Sean grumbles. "That's what she said." I can barely talk I'm laughing so hard. "Enough. No more. My cheeks hurt," Coop says, rubbing his face. I point at him. "That's what she said." And with that, the three of us fall over in fits. "Oh, man, now look what you made me do." Coop motions to his computer. "That was my last DeathBot ship." "That's what she said," Sean blurts out, laughing at his nonsensical joke. Coop and I stare at him, and then silmultaniously, we hit Sean in the face with our pillows.

Sometimes, I felt like a camp counselor for tweakers who could weld. And work with antimatter, but that was neither here nor there—

1) A “Ladies Who Lunch Party” thrown at the country club. Waiters carried hors d’oeuvres around, kneeling on the ground so that the little girls could reach them. The lunch was nicer than Jane’s wedding shower, possibly nicer than her wedding. 2) A “Movie Premiere Party” where the entire theater was rented out and the kids were allowed as much popcorn and candy as they wanted while watching a double feature of Moana and Monsters, Inc. (Lauren threw up in her bed that night.) 3) A “Camping Party” where each child received a sleeping bag personalized with her name and the backyard was set up with mini pink tents and paper lanterns. Someone was hired to grill the hot dogs and make the s’mores. 4) A “Spa Party” at the Four Seasons downtown where the girls got facials and fluffy pink robes and slippers. (Because what first grader wouldn’t appreciate getting rid of clogged pores?)

Wait . . . where's my e-key?' This again. A guy who can organise the stuff he does, fix computers and build scale model bridges and pyramids and simulation Mars bases in the backyard for our neighbourhood summer Coyote Camps, and he still misplaces his zap-key nearly every freaking day. I scan the room. 'Down there. Under the, the left boot of the, uh, R-Mer.' Yehat scoops it up, stands up, ready to go, but then: 'Ah, my, uh, wallet . . . .' I scan. 'Side of the couch.' He digs. He wins. 'Oh . . . and my glasses.' 'On your face.' 'Where would I be without you?' 'Locked outside of house, blind, without money.

Is Israel really the biggest, baddest wolf on the block? Heck no. Even if you put every single one of Israel’s mistakes under a microscope, they still wouldn’t come close to those of many other countries around the world. In Saudi Arabia, Chop Square is literally a place for weekly public decapitations. In Dubai, the working class are literal slaves. In China, disappearances are normal and Muslims are being tracked and put into camps. In Turkey, journalists and activists are imprisoned and killed. In Iran, LGBTQ+ people are executed. In Syria, the government uses chemical weapons against its own people. In Russia, there is arbitrary detention, and worse. In Myanmar, the army is massacring the Rohingya Muslim population. In Brunei, Sharia law was just enacted. In North Korea—no description needed. All over the world, millions of people are dying because of tyrannical leaders, civil wars, and unimaginable atrocities. But you don’t see passionate picket lines against Dubai or Turkey or even Russia. The one country that’s consistently singled out is… Israel. The UN has stated values of human dignity, equal rights, and economic and social advancement that are indeed fantastic, and they are the values upon which Israel was established and is operating. The sting is it that countries that certainly do not adhere to some or any of these values are often the ones who criticize Israel while keeping a straight face. “Look over there!” those leaders say, so the world will not look at their backyards and see their own gross human rights violations. All this led to a disproportionate number of UN resolutions against the only Jewish state and the only democracy in the Middle East. Israel is an easy punching bag, but this obsession over one country only is being used to deflect time and energy away from any real discussion of human rights in the world’s actual murderous regimes. And Israelis aren’t the only ones who have noticed this disproportionate censorship. The United States uses its veto power to shut down almost every Security Council resolution against Israel, and it does this not because of “powerful lobbies” (sorry to burst your bubble). The reason the US shuts down most of these resolutions is because the US gets it. In a closed-door meeting of the Security Council in 2002, former US ambassador to the UN John Negroponte is said to have stated that the US will oppose every UN resolution against Israel that does not also include: condemnation of terrorism and incitement to terrorism, condemnation of various terrorist groups such as Hamas and the Islamic Jihad, and a demand for improvement of security for Israel as a condition for Israeli withdrawal from territories. If a resolution doesn’t include this basic and rational language, the US will veto it. And it did and it does, thank the good Lord, in what we know today as the Negroponte Doctrine.

An atomic bomb went off in my chest. My vision of a calm summer, page-flipping in the backyard disintegrated. Camp. Tons of people. Cheesy team building. With tons of people. -Andy and the Extroverts

She likes me. She likes me lots. I’m suddenly more full of confidence than I have been in a long time. “If you tell me you want me to stay away from you while I’m camping in your backyard, you just say the word.” I wait a pause. She doesn’t say anything. “But if you don’t tell me to stay away from you, I’m going to keep trying to get to know you. And then when you get back to NYU, I’m going to take you out to dinner.” Her brow furrows. “A date?” “Yep.” “You’re kind of cocky, aren’t you?” she asks. “Yep.

[La « bécosse » a] bien des avantages. L’avantage de la « bécosse », c’est qu’elle fonctionne à sec contrairement à nos cabinets d’aisances grand confort qui évacuent de trois à cinq gallons d’eaux polluées à chaque usage, des eaux qu’il nous faut ensuite épurer par le biais de coûteuses installations septiques. Au Québec, le Règlement sur l’évacuation et le traitement des eaux usées des résidences isolées considère la « bécosse » comme une alternative valable pour les camps de chasse et de pêche et tout chalet sans eau courante, pour ceux qui aiment se retrouver dans un véritable milieu sauvage. Elle peut avantageusement remplacer l’installation septique avec élément épurateur classique ou modifié. Et sa mauvaise réputation ? Cette réputation lui vient du fait que la plupart des « bécosses » que nous avons connues dégageaient de mauvaises odeurs et n’étaient pas très accueillantes. Or, un cabinet à fosse sèche bien construit, selon les normes du Règlement, ne dégage pas d’odeurs et peut facilement être gardé propre comme un sou neuf. Pour qu’il en soit ainsi, il est essentiel que la fosse soit creusée dans un sol sec, perméable et bien drainé. Voilà tout le secret d’une bonne « bécosse ». La décomposition des matières fécales doit obligatoirement se faire à l’air libre, dans un milieu sec. Les odeurs de putréfaction se produisent inévitablement quand l’eau s’infiltre à l’intérieur de la fosse ou quand celle-ci a été creusée dans un endroit où le niveau de la nappe d’eau souterraine est élevé. L’eau est l’ennemi public n° 1 des « bécosses ».

[La « bécosse » a] bien des avantages. L’avantage de la « bécosse », c’est qu’elle fonctionne à sec contrairement à nos cabinets d’aisances grand confort qui évacuent de trois à cinq gallons d’eaux polluées à chaque usage, des eaux qu’il nous faut ensuite épurer par le biais de coûteuses installations septiques. Au Québec, le Règlement sur l’évacuation et le traitement des eaux usées des résidences isolées considère la « bécosse » comme une alternative valable pour les camps de chasse et de pêche et tout chalet sans eau courante, pour ceux qui aiment se retrouver dans un véritable milieu sauvage. Elle peut avantageusement remplacer l’installation septique avec élément épurateur classique ou modifié. Et sa mauvaise réputation ? Cette réputation lui vient du fait que la plupart des « bécosses » que nous avons connues dégageaient de mauvaises odeurs et n’étaient pas très accueillantes. Or, un cabinet à fosse sèche bien construit, selon les normes du Règlement, ne dégage pas d’odeurs et peut facilement être gardé propre comme un sou neuf. Pour qu’il en soit ainsi, il est essentiel que la fosse soit creusée dans un sol sec, perméable et bien drainé. Voilà tout le secret d’une bonne « bécosse ». La décomposition des matières fécales doit obligatoirement se faire à l’air libre, dans un milieu sec. Les odeurs de putréfaction se produisent inévitablement quand l’eau s’infiltre à l’intérieur de la fosse ou quand celle-ci a été creusée dans un endroit où le niveau de la nappe d’eau souterraine est élevé. L’eau est l’ennemi public n° 1 des « bécosses ».

Before I build a fire in the pit in the backyard, I sneak Emmy away for a quick walk alone in the pines and along the river. The Sanpoil's current will give her strength. It's nine o'clock and still not dark. I build the fire. Aunt will need more wood chopped before September. Ray drums in his Seattle Mariners cap, and Lena dances in a buckskin dress and Emmy's funky sunglasses. Emmy and I sit side by side in camp chairs that have seen better days. My aunt's house has seen better days. My people have seen better days. Though not for a long, long time. Emmy watches Lena. Ray drums and sings. I sing too because I can't help it. I pray because I can't help it.

Miranda was still trying to process the intrusion. “Just tell me one thing--how do you guys get away with sneaking out at night? My mom would have a fit!” “Right.” Parker’s grin turned scornful. “Like my mom and dad ever know if I’m there or not.” Ashley was totally unconcerned. “Oh, we just tell them we’re going to the tree house. They never check on us there.” “What’s the tree house?” Miranda wanted to know. “Well, when we were little, Gage’s daddy built a tree house for the three of us in his backyard. We used to have a secret club. And we’d play over there, and hide from people, and pretend we were knights in a castle.” “Gage and I were knights,” Roo corrected her. “You always had to be rescued.” “Well, I liked the way Gage threw me over his shoulder and carried me down from the tower.” “Gage did that?” Clasping his hands over his heart, Parker sighed. “My hero.” Gage ignored him. “We used to camp out in that tree house at night.” Ashley nibbled a potato chip. “In fact, we still like sleeping together over there.” Parker wiggled his eyebrows and gave Miranda a stage whisper. “Very kinky.” “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Parker--not that kind of sleeping together.” Ashley paused for a second. “It is just Gage, after all.” Gage stared at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Oh, nothing.” Ashley plopped down on the bed next to Miranda. “Just that we love and respect you so much, we wouldn’t dream of taking advantage of you.” “Sometimes I dream of you two taking advantage of him,” Parker said seriously. “It’s one of my favorite fantasies.” Gage tried unsuccessfully not to look embarrassed. “You need a life.

As Matt began to turn the pages, he found himself distracted. His eyes began drifting around the room, finally coming to rest on the silent air conditioner that sat in one of his windows. He walked over to the air conditioner and turned it on full blast. Its soft hum was music to his ears. And what about music? Matt grinned and placed a tape in his tape deck and turned up the volume. Everything sounded and felt so good. Suddenly he remembered his reading lamp. He reached over to the wall and flipped the lamp’s switch. When the light came on, Matt whooped with joy. He felt a thrill of excitement as he turned on his clock radio. He even set the alarm to go off. “And TV!” Matt cried, racing over to his television set. “I’m going to watch TV!” By the time Mrs. Carlton appeared in the doorway, Matt was sitting on his bed reading, after turning on every electrical appliance in his room. “What on earth is going on in here?” his mother called over the din. Matt looked up from his book and grinned. “I was just checking to make sure that everything still works,” he told her. Mrs. Carlton shook her head. “Come and get yourself some breakfast,” she told Matt. “And for heaven’s sake take a bath and change your clothes.” As she walked away Matt could hear her mumble under her breath, “The way that boy looks after a simple backyard camping trip. You’d think he was just through a war!