Azra Tabassum Quotes

Wait for someone who bumps mouths clumsily with yours cos they’re too busy smiling to kiss you properly. Yeah. Wait for that.

Hold everything very carefully unless it is your lover’s back. Then, become metal, become teeth, do not gentle yourself for any man. Do not change for the ones who think that you should be softer, less mouth, less voice. You do not owe regrowth to anyone but yourself. When they begin to ask for you to shape yourself around them, leave. Shut the door firmly. Do not look back.

Kiss her. Slowly, take your time, there’s no place you’d rather be. Kiss her but not like you’re waiting for something else, like your hands beneath her shirt or her skirt or tangled up in her bra straps. Nothing like that. Kiss her like you’ve forgotten any other mouth that your mouth has ever touched. Kiss her with a curious childish delight. Laugh into her mouth, inhale her sighs. Kiss her until she moans. Kiss her with her face in your hands. Or your hands in her hair. Or pulling her closer at the waist. Kiss her like you want to take her dancing. Like you want to spin her into an open arena and watch her look at you like you’re the brightest thing she’s ever seen. Kiss her like she’s the brightest thing you’ve ever seen. Take your time. Kiss her like the first and only piece of chocolate you’re ever going to taste. Kiss her until she forgets how to count. Kiss her stupid. Kiss her silent. Come away, ask her what 2+2 is and listen to her say your name in answer.

Mother, I am ravenous. Mother it is not what they said, they did not tell us the truth, they did not even say that it would look like the underbelly of a skinned mammal. That it would be like the inside of a lip. It is the scrape of his teeth on the soft of my arm and how I moaned for days. It is greedy and hungry. I am always hungry. I am always a stomach full of teeth and need. Need, god, I need. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon, sometimes in between. Sometimes I am not a girl, but a slice of desire. Mother, if desperation were human, she would wear my eyes. She would hold my hands. She would take me by the neck and fill me until I was boneless. Later she would write in her diary, today I destroyed a girl and it tasted like wine.

At lunch, I think about your hands, and that's it. That's my spine unloosening for the day. That's all the ocean in my belly heading straight to the shore of my throat. I think about your hands and suddenly, I don't know what to do with mine. Suddenly my fingers are not my fingers but the empty space between them where yours should be. I am all missing, I lose myself for the day and leave to find you. I misplace my throat because it is clasped in the cup of your hand. I leave my bitten lips on your bedside table. My thighs have the ghosts of bruises unfurling into poppies, like bloodstains on snow. I break things because I am shaking and I am shaking because you are not with me and you are not with me because we are just learning to touch each other through the spaces between us. It is violent that we cannot touch each other, yet. It's a war crime. It should be illegal that my fingers still haven't learned the notches of your back. I think about holding your wrist in the O of my thumb and my index finger. I think about kissing the blue veins there. I think about careful mouth touches, and the tender of you. The warm, soft hollow of you, and how I lose my bottom lip wondering about yours. I'll kiss you there, I promise. I promise.