“
There are many good seeds in you. Therefore you must avoid every bad soil in the world.
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor
“
Two kinds of people to avoid in your life; 1. Those who love your lies and 2. Those who hate your truth. Avoid them.
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor (Let's go to the Next Level)
“
The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So focus on the issue. This is one of the most basic tactics for avoiding emotional escalations. Our culture demonizes people in movies and politics, which creates the mentality that if we only got rid of the person then everything would be okay. But this dynamic is toxic to any negotiation.
”
”
Chris Voss (Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It)
“
Once upon a time there was a king who had three beautiful daughters.
No, no, wait.
Once upon a time there were three bears who lived in a wee house in the woods.
Once upon a time there were three soldiers, tramping together down the road after the war.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs.
Once upon a time there were three brothers.
No, this is it. This is the variation I want.
Once upon a time there were three Beautiful children, two boys and a girl. When each baby was born, the parents rejoiced, the heavens rejoiced, even the fairies rejoiced. The fairies came to christening parties and gave the babies magical gifts.
Bounce, effort, and snark.
Contemplation and enthusiasm. Ambition and strong coffee.
Sugar, curiosity, and rain.
And yet, there was a witch.
There's always a witch.
This which was the same age as the beautiful children, and as she and they grew, she was jealous of the girl, and jealous of the boys, too. They were blessed with all these fairy gifts, gifts the witch had been denied at her own christening.
The eldest boy was strong and fast, capable and handsome. Though it's true, he was exceptionally short.
The next boy was studious and open hearted. Though it's true, he was an outsider.
And the girl was witty, Generous, and ethical. Though it's true, she felt powerless.
The witch, she was none of these things, for her parents had angered the fairies. No gifts were ever bestowed upon her. She was lonely. Her only strength was her dark and ugly magic.
She confuse being spartan with being charitable, and gave away her possessions without truly doing good with them.
She confuse being sick with being brave, and suffered agonies while imagining she merited praise for it.
She confused wit with intelligence, and made people laugh rather than lightening their hearts are making them think.
Hey magic was all she had, and she used it to destroy what she most admired. She visited each young person in turn in their tenth birthday, but did not harm them out right. The protection of some kind fairy - the lilac fairy, perhaps - prevented her from doing so.
What she did instead was cursed them.
"When you are sixteen," proclaimed the witch in a rage of jealousy, "you shall prick your finger on a spindle - no, you shall strike a match - yes, you will strike a match and did in its flame."
The parents of the beautiful children were frightened of the curse, and tried, as people will do, to avoid it. They moved themselves and the children far away, to a castle on a windswept Island. A castle where there were no matches.
There, surely, they would be safe.
There, Surely, the witch would never find them.
But find them she did. And when they were fifteen, these beautiful children, just before their sixteenth birthdays and when they're nervous parents not yet expecting it, the jealous which toxic, hateful self into their lives in the shape of a blonde meeting.
The maiden befriended the beautiful children. She kissed him and took them on the boat rides and brought them fudge and told them stories.
Then she gave them a box of matches.
The children were entranced, for nearly sixteen they have never seen fire.
Go on, strike, said the witch, smiling. Fire is beautiful. Nothing bad will happen.
Go on, she said, the flames will cleanse your souls.
Go on, she said, for you are independent thinkers.
Go on, she said. What is this life we lead, if you did not take action?
And they listened.
They took the matches from her and they struck them. The witch watched their beauty burn,
Their bounce,
Their intelligence,
Their wit,
Their open hearts,
Their charm,
Their dreams for the future.
She watched it all disappear in smoke.
”
”
E. Lockhart (We Were Liars)
“
Avoid Toxic People Until you reach the point in your self-development where you no longer allow people to affect you with their negativity, you need to avoid toxic people at all costs. You’re better off spending time alone than spending time with people who will hold you back with their victim mentality and their mediocre standards. Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive, nourishing, and uplifting people—people who believe in you, encourage you to go after your dreams, and applaud your victories. Surround yourself with possibility thinkers, idealists,
”
”
Jack Canfield (The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be)
“
Most people seem to get bored easily when having an easy life, and need to feed on drama and conflicts to feel alive. They are like vampires and zombies, that feed on the anger of others. The flesh and blood is replaced here by life energy. Now, the main point here is that toxic women and toxic men do make us sick. And life goes nowhere around such decadent souls. Alone, we have choices. With a mentally sick person in our life, you can’t make plans for the future. It's impossible to make long-term plans when teaming with people that are too obsessed with conflicts and selfish needs. And hopefully, there will come a time when such individuals are segregated from society and put in mental hospitals. Until that moment comes, we can only avoid them and label them toxic personalities.
”
”
Robin Sacredfire
“
You'll notice that I'll never make a quote about assholes and/or dicks in life. End of story. Dead-end. Avoid like the plague. They always multiply. They're truly the most insecure people on this planet. That pretty much says it all. In conclusion, ignore them with all your might. Never give them your energy.
”
”
Major Mike Russell
“
You can cease to be influenced by people who tease you... Just neglect their helps and elevate your steps... You can do it!
”
”
Israelmore Ayivor (Daily Drive 365)
“
Avoid those who tell you how nice they are, how generous they are, how successful they are, how honest they are, and how important they are. Instead, search for the quiet ones who show these qualities every day through their actions.
”
”
Jackson MacKenzie (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People)
“
Your current situation fits every one of the criteria for this disorder: Exposure to a traumatic event. Yes, relationship abuse from someone you love is traumatic and life-altering. Persistent re-experiencing. Yes, through the mean and sweet cycle, you were repeatedly subjected to their abuse. Persistent avoidance and emotional numbing. Yes, this is the coping mechanism you adopted to excuse their behavior. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal not present before. Yes, you begin to feel these during the delayed emotions stage, ultimately manifesting as anxiety and fear. Duration of symptoms for more than 1 month. Yes, most survivors will require anywhere from 12-24 months of recovery before they begin to trust & love again. Significant impairment. You tell me—how do you feel right about now? I’d say impaired is an understatement.
”
”
Peace (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, & Other Toxic People)
“
Codependents use it to dismiss their own needs and emotions, deciding they must rescue and help even more people in order to achieve selfless sainthood. Narcissists use it to start cults and show others how worldly and wise they are. Borderlines use it to seek sympathy and validation from a higher power for their poor decisions, and then feel betrayed when their decisions inevitably backfire. Avoidants use it to stay lost in their imagination, viewing their own healing through the lens of invented characters.
”
”
Jackson MacKenzie (Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse)
“
Smart people avoid smart meters.
”
”
Steven Magee
“
Character is a powerful defense in a world that would love to be able to seduce you, buy you, tempt you, and change you. If you know what you believe and why you believe it, you’ll avoid poisonous relationships, toxic jobs, fair-weather friends, and any number of ills that afflict people who haven’t thought through their deepest concerns. That’s your education. That’s why you do this work.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living)
“
Set clear limits with energy vampires and toxic people. Remember that “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to keep explaining yourself. I am adamant about avoiding draining people, particularly when I’m overloaded.
”
”
Judith Orloff (The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People)
“
Whenever people idealize their caretakers, chances are pretty good that the opposite is true. Sometimes illusion is created by the parents, who insists in godlike fashion that they're perfect and that the child owes them obedience because they're responsible for his or her existence. Other times the illusion is created by the child as a survival strategy, disconnecting from reality in order to avoid the pain of growing up in a toxic enviroment.
”
”
Neil Strauss (The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships)
“
High-conflict families can also teach codependents how to navigate other people’s feelings in order to avoid discomfort. Especially if a parent is prone to outbursts and rigid rules, children can learn at a young age not to express their needs in order to keep the peace.
”
”
Jackson MacKenzie (Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse)
“
A parent who always had to argue and be right, so the people pleaser learns to sacrifice their own opinions in order to keep the peace A parent with anger issues, so the people pleaser learns to anticipate bad moods and calm them before it escalates to rage A parent with addiction or alcoholism issues, so the people pleaser learns to manage another person’s illness A parent with borderline personality, so the people pleaser learns to soothe and comfort inappropriate dramatic crises and pity stories A parent with control issues and rigid rules, so the people pleaser learns to just do what they want to avoid unpleasant reactions A parent with depression or anxiety, so the people pleaser feels sorry for them and responsible for always being happy and cheering them up Parents who fight all the time, so the people pleaser learns to detect an argument brewing and rushes to quell things before a fight ensues One final, and very common, trigger for people pleasing is a cluster-B relationship. When you enter a relationship where everything is all about the other person, your focus may remain stuck externally.
”
”
Jackson MacKenzie (Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse)
“
That’s why I think how we talk about motherhood, how we think about motherhood, and how we act as mothers matters. Motherhood is hard, but it is good. It’s a gift that we have the privilege of stewarding. As much as we can, our attitudes should reflect that, especially when we’re talking about being a mom to other people. Avoid toxic online mom culture that calls kids and toddlers brats and burdens. It may be sarcasm, but it has an effect on how people see parenting and family. Let Christian moms be the first ones to say: “No, as hard as this is, my baby is a blessing, not a burden.
”
”
Allie Beth Stuckey (You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love)
“
Another New Year's dawned, new opportunities and difficulties are sneaking around you. To take hold of good and let go bad, face the new challenges and open the new chances to anew your life again.
Everyday train your brain to solve all difficulties and transform them into opportunities, get rich mentally, physically and financially.
Love your family, friends, colleagues and all folks surrounded by you. Take care of your health, children, wealth and travel new exotic places, people and enjoy good food. Life is very short, fully enjoy it.
Embrace new ideas, knowledge and every opportunity. And always surround yourself with good people and avoid toxic and negative people to secure your peace of mind and dignity.
I wholeheartedly and boldly set my plan as is the best year of my life for financial freedom, good health, richness, love, care and abundance.
I do solemnly yearn for the folks around the world a thoroughly Peaceful, Happy and Beautiful New Year free from hunger, poverty, disease, inequality, war and conflict.
”
”
Lord Robin
“
By “boundaries” I mean the delineation between two people’s responsibilities for their own problems. People in a healthy relationship with strong boundaries will take responsibility for their own values and problems and not take responsibility for their partner’s values and problems. People in a toxic relationship with poor or no boundaries will regularly avoid responsibility for their own problems and/or take responsibility for their partner’s problems. What
”
”
Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life)
“
In any bare-knuckle bargaining session, the most vital principle to keep in mind is never to look at your counterpart as an enemy. The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So focus on the issue. This is one of the most basic tactics for avoiding emotional escalations. Our culture demonizes people in movies and politics, which creates the mentality that if we only got rid of the person then everything would be okay. But this dynamic is toxic to any negotiation. Punching
”
”
Chris Voss (Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It)
“
They are toxic, and we know they are toxic, but perhaps they’re a lifelong friend, relative, or coworker. You can’t avoid all troublesome people, can you? And aren’t we supposed to reach difficult people? Didn’t Jesus tell us to search for sinners? And so we keep engaging them, keep running into a wall, all the while thinking we’re doing the Lord’s work. But what if we’re not? What if there’s another way of looking at how we handle toxic people in our lives? What if the way and work of Christ are so compelling, so urgent, and so important that allowing ourselves to become bogged down by toxic people is an offense to God rather than a service to God?
”
”
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
“
Toxic positivity in spirituality is often called "spiritual bypassing." John Welwood coined the term and defined it as "using spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep personal, emotional 'unfinished business,' to shore up a shaky sense of self, or to belittle basic needs, feelings, and developmental asks." Welwood noticed that many people were using spirituality as a way to avoid painful emotions and experiences. This continues today in many spiritual practices or communities worldwide that offer countless ways to create "unlimited" happiness and manifest everything you've ever wanted without ever acknowledging the internal and systemic barriers that may get in the way.
”
”
Whitney Goodman (Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy)
“
Serial provokers are experts at seeking out flexible, easygoing people. They exploit this quality by constantly provoking their target with covert jabs, minimization, veiled humor, and patronizing. The target will attempt to avoid conflict by remaining pleasant, choosing to forgive and excuse this behavior in favor of maintaining harmony. But the serial provoker will continue to aggravate the target until they finally snap. Once this occurs, the provoker will sit back, feign surprise, and marvel at how passive-aggressive, angry, and volatile the target is. The target will immediately feel bad, apologize, and absorb the blame. They are essentially shamed for rightfully losing their patience and behaving the way the serial provoker behaves every single day. The difference is, the target feels remorse—the serial provoker does not. The target is expected to remain calm and peaceful no matter what, while the serial provoker feels entitled to do whatever they please.
”
”
Jackson MacKenzie (Psychopath Free: Recovering from Emotionally Abusive Relationships With Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People)
“
my reworking of that marvellous list. 1. Live as enjoyably as you can within financial reason. 2. If you have a bath, draw an inch or two of cold water and splash about in it. A cold shower will have the same uplifting effect. 3. Never stay up all night watching Netflix Originals about serial killers. 4. DON’T THINK TOO FAR
AHEAD. EVENING IS FINE,
BUT TOMORROW CAN
LOOK AFTER ITSELF. 5. Keep reasonably busy. 6. See as much as you can of the friends who like you, support you and make you laugh. See as little as you can of the friends who judge you, compare you to others and tire you (and don’t pretend you don’t know who they are). 7. Apply the same rules to casual acquaintances. If your instincts tell you they are toxic, walk away and don’t look back. 8. If you are low in the water, do not pretend that you aren’t. It makes it so much worse, and A STIFF UPPER LIP
ONLY GIVES YOU
A SORE JAW. 9. Good coffee and tea are a genuine help. 10. DO NOT
UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
OR FOR ANY REASON
AT ANY TIME
COMPARE YOURSELF
TO ANYONE ELSE. 11. Cultivate a gentle, healthy pessimism. It can result in more nice surprises. 12. Avoid drama about what is wrong with the world (unless it is funny), emotionally powerful music, other sad people, and anything likely to make you feel anxious or that you are not doing enough. 13. RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS ARE
HUMAN ANTIDEPRESSANTS. 14. Form a close bond with a local tree. 15. Make the room you most like sitting in as much of a comfy nest as you can. 16. Listen to David Attenborough. 17. STOP JUDGING YOURSELF.
STOP PUNISHING YOURSELF.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. 18. Keep warm. 19. Think as much as you can about space, infinity and the beyond. Anything that much bigger than you can be very relaxing. 20. Trust me.
”
”
Scarlett Curtis (It's Not OK to Feel Blue (and other lies): Inspirational people open up about their mental health)
“
No child can avoid emotional pain while growing up, and likewise emotional toxicity seems to be a normal by-product of organizational life—people are fired, unfair policies come from headquarters, frustrated employees turn in anger on others. The causes are legion: abusive bosses or unpleasant coworkers, frustrating procedures, chaotic change. Reactions range from anguish and rage, to lost confidence or hopelessness. Perhaps luckily, we do not have to depend only on the boss. Colleagues, a work team, friends at work, and even the organization itself can create the sense of having a secure base. Everyone in a given workplace contributes to the emotional stew, the sum total of the moods that emerge as they interact through the workday. No matter what our designated role may be, how we do our work, interact, and make each other feel adds to the overall emotional tone. Whether it’s a supervisor or fellow worker who we can turn to when upset, their mere existence has a tonic benefit. For many working people, coworkers become something like a “family,” a group in which members feel a strong emotional attachment for one another. This makes them especially loyal to each other as a team. The stronger the emotional bonds among workers, the more motivated, productive, and satisfied with their work they are. Our sense of engagement and satisfaction at work results in large part from the hundreds and hundreds of daily interactions we have while there, whether with a supervisor, colleagues, or customers. The accumulation and frequency of positive versus negative moments largely determines our satisfaction and ability to perform; small exchanges—a compliment on work well done, a word of support after a setback—add up to how we feel on the job.28
”
”
Daniel Goleman (Social Intelligence)
“
David tried to relax. His gaze drifted to the crowded sidewalks of stressed humanity, comparing them to the idealized versions in billboards and storefronts. Even without hallucinations, it was a horrifying scene, he reflected. And Wharton believed he was going to bring a revolution to all this. “Most people are other people,” he said aloud. “Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
“Which is itself a quotation,” chimed Wharton. “Oscar Wilde, I believe.”
“Nothing gets past you.”
“Not anymore.”
David glanced at the confident figure sitting next to him. He tilted again, “So, how are you going to save all these people? They’re just a bunch of dupes who don’t even realise they’re getting fucked. There’s no golden future for the human race.”
“Whoo! We need to get you detoxed – fast! Your mind is toxic!”
“The fucks running this planet – they got us all stupid and downtrodden. They’ve got the media, the corporations, the banks. They just fill our troughs and we come a-gathering around, pushing each other about in the mud. They’ve got all the aces … Shit, they print the fucking aces!”
“Do you think you’re telling me something new? You’ve got it wrong. I’m telling you something new here.” Wharton faced him and moved closer, almost confrontational. “The guys in charge – the fucks – the fat old dudes in the smoky backroom. They’re sitting on a powder keg, which is this: humanity and its potential – a potential so hard wired, so written into every cell, that it’s destiny. And they’re desperate to avoid anything that might cause a spark.”
Light and dark took turns on Wharton’s face as they rolled on. He continued, “We are that spark. … Think small, you’ll be small. It’s time to go beyond all that programming and conditioning. The very fact that this material reality even exists is a fact too wondrous to truly behold. Too wondrous to behold! So, naturally, most of the time, it’s not ‘beheld’.” Despite the hushed tone, he was enjoying himself. “Don’t get made mundane just because of what the system tells you – it’s only the reigning ideology of the day. ‘Naive realism’, we call it. (…)
”
”
Martin Higgins (Human+)
“
The Wishy-Washy Wimp is so paralyzed by fear and anxiety that he or she cannot make a move if there is pressure to perform. Even an action to save another person’s life might be avoided. Wishy-Washy
”
”
Lillian Glass (Toxic People: 10 Ways Of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable)
“
23. Surround yourself with good people and do not let it bother you if you choose to avoid the toxic ones.
”
”
Ashley Rosebloom (How to Get Motivated and Stop Procrastinating: 51 Ways to Overcome Anxiety, Depression, Fear, and Lack of Motivation (Self-help for Overcoming Procrastination And Being More Motivated Book 1))
“
23. Surround yourself with good people and do not let it bother you if you choose to avoid the toxic ones. Your social system influences you more than you know. Having encouraging and supportive people around you is healthy and will help to boost your motivation levels.
”
”
Ashley Rosebloom (How to Get Motivated and Stop Procrastinating: 51 Ways to Overcome Anxiety, Depression, Fear, and Lack of Motivation (Self-help for Overcoming Procrastination And Being More Motivated Book 1))
“
The Paleo diet is about eliminating carbs Going along with the “caveman” image, many people mistakenly think that Paleo eating is all about tearing into endless plates of meat and nothing else. This is not true. On a Paleo eating plan, carbs are usually kept below 100 or 150 grams per day, which is actually ample. The kind of carbs is more important, and Paleo eaters get their carbohydrates from starchy vegetables, nuts and seeds instead of the empty calories from bread, rice or pasta. Paleo dieters will occasionally fast and put their bodies into ketosis, but this is not automatically a very low carb plan and has very little in common with the infamous Atkins diet. The Paleo diet is not practical Many people reel in horror at the thought that you could stay alive without grains. The truth is grains, especially wheat, are nutrient poor and usually only serve to disrupt blood sugar and insulin levels, promote fat storage and increase over time allergies, obesity and even the initial stages of type II diabetes. Grains contain phytates and other plant proteins that damage the intestinal lining and lead to leaky gut syndrome and a host of other complaints, not to mention overweight. A diet rich in empty carbohydrates is nutrient deficient, fattening and even addictive, if white sugar plays a big role. You can eat as much fat as you like on the Paleo diet Partly true. Again, it’s not so much the quantity but the quality of the fat in question. While eating fat has been shown again and again not to make you fat, it’s also important to choose the right kinds. Butter, good quality animal fats, avocado, coconut and olive oil as well as the fat found in eggs and good quality dairy are excellent for the health in every way. Avoid refined, deodorized and hydrogenated oils such as sunflower, cottonseed or canola oil. These are incredibly toxic to the body and high in inflammation causing Omega 6 fatty acids. Dairy is forbidden on the Paleo diet Always a point of debate, whether to eat dairy or not comes down to a matter of personal choice. Some of us possess the enzymes to properly digest milk, other do not. The only way to test for your own sensitivity is to experiment and listen to your body. If lactose is a problem, eat cultured dairy like yogurt, kefir and cheese. If milk forms a good part of your diet, be sure that you’re getting hormone free, grass fed milk from a quality source and don’t binge on milk as it’s also quite high in carbohydrates. If fat loss is your main goal, eliminate dairy until your goal weight is reached.
”
”
Sara Banks (Paleo Diet: Amazingly Delicious Paleo Diet Recipes for Weight Loss (Weight Loss Recipes, Paleo Diet Recipes Book 1))
“
It’s true that we should avoid toxic people. But while doing so, we must take the time to identify any hint of that in ourselves.
”
”
Charles F Glassman
“
Zero Waste is a goal that is ethical, economical, efficient and visionary, to guide people in changing their lifestyles and practices to emulate sustainable natural cycles, where all discarded materials are designed to become resources for others to use. Zero Waste means designing and managing products and processes to systematically avoid and eliminate the volume and toxicity of waste and materials, conserve and recover all resources and not burn or bury them.
”
”
Mary Appelhof (Worms Eat My Garbage: How to Set Up and Maintain a Worm Composting System)
“
It’s essential to move toward that which opens the heart, and to move away from that which closes it; avoid toxic people, places and things whenever possible.
”
”
Maximus Freeman
“
toxic. There are other potentially toxic elements, too, such as music, television, books, magazines, and the Internet. Each of these elements is nothing more than a vehicle carrying the toxic material just like a person can. Not all people are bad influences. Likewise, not all music is degrading. Not all television programs are amoral. And not all books, magazines, and Internet sites are trashy. Just as you would with people, you have to look for those things where your time is well-spent. Seek out that which uplifts and enlightens you. If it doesn’t, then, avoid it or get rid of it. If you keep putting garbage in, you’re going to keep getting garbage out. It’s that simple.
”
”
Gary W. Keith (Overcoming a Childhood of Abuse and Dysfunctional Living: How I Did It)
“
One must accept others as they are, even if they’re different and what we see of them doesn’t fit with our ideas. This doesn’t mean that we should ignore reality—there are people who do wrong, or that we should distance ourselves from because they’re toxic—but regarding most people, the healthiest thing is to keep a pluralistic, generous frame of mind and be open to admitting that there are people who don’t conform to our criteria at all. Closing oneself off harshly to everything different should be avoided. If you only accept people who have a certain level of education or come from a certain class within society, if you’re obsessed with fans of a certain football team or members of a certain trade or profession, if you systematically reject everyone who comes from a certain region, country, or continent—without a doubt your capacity to understand the world and those around you will be reduced and you’ll lose out on many of the subtle nuances that make our world so rich and diverse. It’s no good generalizing and rejecting social groups or particular categories of people. Everyone has something to offer us.
”
”
Marian Rojas Estapé (How to Make Good Things Happen: Know Your Brain, Enhance Your Life)
“
Avoidance of toxic people in the workplace is always a good strategy.
”
”
Steven Magee
“
Some use the label toxic much too broadly as an excuse to avoid difficult, different, or hurting people.
”
”
Gary L. Thomas (When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People)
“
Another theme that surfaced was the feeling that other people in the family system want the person to “get over it” just to keep the peace and avoid having to face down the toxic family member.
”
”
Ramani S. Durvasula ("Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility)
“
Choose to take care of your mental health .It is very important. People with mental issues end up being dangerous people in the society and to themselves. Choose to avoid toxic conversation, toxic friends and toxic situations. Not everything you see is good for your eyes and not everything you hear is good for your ears. Choose to stop feeding your mind garbage. Avoid to follow mean, vile, toxic, bad people and accounts on social media. Avoid reading bad news or information. Avoid negative things , negative people and negative friends. All the things that you see ,read and listen especial from social media are stored in your mind. Then they become part of you. Then you will start to react based on them. We all behave based on what we know.
”
”
D.J. Kyos
“
By openly talking and expressing your feelings, you save yourself and other people from possible embarrassment. Avoid being passive-aggressive so that other people feel comfortable enough to want to build relations with you.
”
”
Antony Felix (How to Stop Being Defensive: Step-by-Step Guide on How to Take Criticism Positively, Stop Being Toxic, Stop Being Passive Aggressive, and Stop Being Selfish ... To Keep Your Relationships Healthy and Aliv)
“
This is why I’m talking about making a decision! Take control of yourself, and avoid throwing blame elsewhere, on the toxic people around you or on your social or financial circumstances. Let go of the role of victim; start being the hero of your own life story.
”
”
Marian Rojas Estapé (How to Make Good Things Happen: Know Your Brain, Enhance Your Life)
“
Burnout is the combination of resentment, exhaustion, shame, and frustration that make us lose connection to pleasure and passion in the work, and instead encounter difficult feelings like avoidance, compulsion, control, and anxiety. If it were just exhaustion we could take a break and rest and go back. But people who feel burnt out often feel they cannot return to the work or that the group or work they were part of is toxic.
”
”
Dean Spade (Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity in This Crisis (And the Next))
“
Throughout this conversation, it’s important to remember that you’re communicating with a real human being — a person with feelings, stories, history, trauma, heart, and the same needs as you to be heard, understood, and most importantly, respected. Kashdan said that the now-common, overused practice of labeling people as narcissists, gaslighters, and toxic can make us dehumanize other people, especially when their opinions don’t reflect our values.
That’s why it’s important to listen to others and understand their point of view. Humans have the ability to change and improve themselves. Minson highlights that when we see that potential in those we disagree with, we’re likely to engage with them more effectively. It’s important to avoid seeing people as “good” or “bad.” This will help you extend some grace and empathy to the other person.
”
”
Evelyn Nam
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Teach skills of healthy interdependence. Instead of raising kids who think they must do it all on their own, teach them how to ask for help when they need it and model these skills yourself. Make chores mandatory. To encourage a “we’re all in this together” mindset, you might save your own household chores—paying the bills, recycling newspapers, straightening up the house—for when your kids are scheduled to do theirs. Avoid linking chores to allowances or excessive praise. Chores are what you do when you are part of a family, a contribution to the greater whole. Widen their circle of concern and caring. Point out how other people add value to your kids’ lives every day, like janitors at school who work hard to keep the school clean of germs, or teachers who sacrifice their own time to meet outside class. Broaden their circle of caring. Say thank you to the waitress and the bus driver. Children learn kindness and empathy not just by how we treat those closest to us, but also by how we treat strangers, notes Rick Weissbourd.
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Jennifer Breheny Wallace (Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic-and What We Can Do About It)
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Culture cements them through reinforcement and reward, encouraging people to perform tasks even if chronically stressful, under circumstances they might naturally want to avoid. My own workaholism as a physician earned me much respect, gratitude, remuneration, and status in the world, even as it undermined my mental health and my family’s emotional balance.
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Gabor Maté (The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture)
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One thing that stands out is how important truth-telling is in the lives of hunter-gathering and foraging peoples – and how important the converse, avoidance and denial of the truth, is to a modern society.
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Bob Hughes (The Bleeding Edge: Why Technology Turns Toxic in an Unequal World)
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I fall in that category. For years, I would say yes to things I knew I really did not want to do, or avoid difficult conversations because I could not live with the discomfort of speaking up for myself. I’ve known other victims of trauma who sabotage situations until someone else says no for them—meaning their relationship ends, a friendship becomes toxic, or they lose a job. This is what I hear you saying when you talk about people who poison intimacy.
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Bruce D. Perry (What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing)
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▪ Stop snacking between meals ▪ Eat sweets only once a week ▪ Gradually pay off all debt ▪ Avoid spending time with toxic people ▪ Avoid spending time doing things we don’t enjoy, simply because we feel obligated to do them ▪ Spend no more than twenty minutes on Facebook per day
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Héctor García (Ikigai: The Japanese secret to a long and happy life)
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According to Tom’s data, relationships are the currency of the wealthy. The rich surround themselves with other like-minded people who share their goals, dreams, thinking, morality and virtues. They devote an enormous amount of time to managing their successful relationships and they make a habit of avoiding toxic relationships.
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Thomas C. Corley (Rich Habits Poor Habits: Discover why the rich keep getting richer and how you can join their ranks)
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I feel uncomfortable and experience building tension or discomfort that seems to come out of the blue when I think about a particular situation. ____ 2. I avoid specific situations that make me feel uncomfortable. ____ 3. I have at least four of the following symptoms at the same time: shortness of breath or feeling smothered; heart palpitations (rapid or irregular heartbeat); trembling or shaking; choking; dizziness or unsteadiness; nausea or abdominal distress; numbness, feeling detached or out of touch with myself; fear of dying; fear of going crazy or out of control; hot flashes or chills; sweating without exertion. ____ 4. I worry excessively, and so I feel restless, keyed up or on edge, irritable, easily fatigued, have trouble falling or staying asleep or I wake up tired, have tense and tight muscles, have difficulty concentrating, and/or find my mind going blank. ____ 5. I have recurring intrusive thoughts such as hurting or harming a close relative, being contaminated by dirt or a toxic substance, fearing I forgot to lock my door or turn off an appliance, and/or have unpleasant fantasies of catastrophe. ____ 6. I perform ritualistic actions such as washing my hands or counting to relieve my discomfort because I have fears that keep entering my mind. ____ 7. I have witnessed or been subjected to a life-threatening experience and have persistent symptoms that have lasted for at least a month, including repetitive and distressing thoughts, nightmares, flashbacks, attempts to reenact the situation, emotional numbness (out of touch with your emotions—feeling no anger, sadness, guilt, or relief), feeling detached from other people, losing interest in activities that once gave me pleasure, sleep or concentration problems, startling easily, irritability and/or have outbursts of anger.
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Carolyn Chambers Clark (Living Well with Anxiety: What Your Doctor Doesn't Tell You . . . That You Need to Know)
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If you know what you believe and why you believe it, you’ll avoid poisonous relationships, toxic jobs, fair-weather friends, and any number of ills that afflict people who haven’t thought through their deepest concerns.
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Ryan Holiday
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Dear Friends & Folks,
"Another New Year's dawned, new opportunities and difficulties are sneaking around. To take hold of good and let go bad, face the new challenges and open the new chances to anew your life again.
Everyday train your brain to solve all difficulties and transform them into opportunities, get rich mentally, physically and financially.
Love your family, friends, colleagues and all folks surrounded by you. Take care of your health, children, wealth and travel new exotic places, people and take good food. And enjoy life fullest as it is very short...
Embrace new ideas, knowledge, and every opportunity. And always surround yourself with good people and avoid toxic and negative people to secure your peace of mind and dignity.
I wholeheartedly and boldly set my plan as is the best year of my life for financial freedom, good health, richness, love, care, and abundance.
May all your Dreams, Hopes and Wishes Come True This New Year. Very 'Happy New Year 2019' to All Of You."
From,
Lord Robin
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Lord Robin
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By “boundaries” I mean the delineation between two people’s responsibilities for their own problems. People in a healthy relationship with strong boundaries will take responsibility for their own values and problems and not take responsibility for their partner’s values and problems. People in a toxic relationship with poor or no boundaries will regularly avoid responsibility for their own problems and/or take responsibility for their partner’s problems.
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Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life)
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There is so much toxicity associated with New York City that smart people avoid it.
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Steven Magee