Annie Armstrong Quotes

To address strength and endurance issues, Goldblatt initiated a program called the Mechanically Dominant Soldier. What if soldiers could have ten times the muscle endurance of enemy soldiers? What if they could leap seven feet and be able to cool down their own body temperature? What if the military benchmark of eighty pull-ups a day could be raised to three hundred pull-ups a day? “We want every war fighter to look like Lance Armstrong as far as metabolic profile,” program manager Joe Bielitzki told Washington Post reporter Joel Garreau a decade before Armstrong resigned from athletics in disgrace.

Io mi diverto ad avere trent’anni, io me li bevo come un liquore i trent’anni: non li appassisco in una precoce vecchiaia ciclostilata su carta carbone. Ascoltami, Cernam, White, Bean, Armstrong, Gordon, Chaffee: sono stupendi i trent’anni, ed anche i trentuno, i trentadue, i trentatré, i trentaquattro, i trentacinque! Sono stupendi perché sono liberi, ribelli, fuorilegge, perchè è finita l’angoscia dell’attesa, non è incominciata la malinconia del declino, perché siamo lucidi, finalmente, a trent’anni! Se siamo religiosi, siamo religiosi convinti. Se siamo atei, siamo atei convinti. Se siamo dubbiosi, siamo dubbiosi senza vergogna. E non temiamo le beffe dei ragazzi perché anche noi siamo giovani, non temiamo i rimproveri degli adulti perchè anche noi siamo adulti. Non temiamo il peccato perché abbiamo capito che il peccato è un punto di vista, non temiamo la disubbidienza perché abbiamo scoperto che la disubbidienza è nobile. Non temiamo la punizione perché abbiamo concluso che non c’è nulla di male ad amarci se ci incontriamo, ad abbandonarci se ci perdiamo: i conti non dobbiamo più farli con la maestra di scuola e non dobbiamo ancora farli col prete dell’olio santo. Li facciamo con noi stessi e basta, col nostro dolore da grandi. Siamo un campo di grano maturo, a trent’anni, non più acerbi e non ancora secchi: la linfa scorre in noi con la pressione giusta, gonfia di vita. È viva ogni nostra gioia, è viva ogni nostra pena, si ride e si piange come non ci riuscirà mai più, si pensa e si capisce come non ci riuscirà mai più. Abbiamo raggiunto la cima della montagna e tutto è chiaro là in cima: la strada per cui siamo saliti, la strada per cui scenderemo. Un po’ ansimanti e tuttavia freschi, non succederà più di sederci nel mezzo a guardare indietro e in avanti, a meditare sulla nostra fortuna: e allora com’è che in voi non è così? Com’è che sembrate i miei padri schiacciati di paure, di tedio, di calvizie? Ma cosa v’hanno fatto, cosa vi siete fatti? A quale prezzo pagate la Luna? La Luna costa cara, lo so. Costa cara a ciascuno di noi: ma nessun prezzo vale quel campo di grano, nessun prezzo vale quella cima di monte. Se lo valesse, sarebbe inutile andar sulla Luna: tanto varrebbe restarcene qui. Svegliatevi dunque, smettetela d’essere così razionali, ubbidienti, rugosi! Smettetela di perder capelli, di intristire nella vostra uguaglianza! Stracciatela la carta carbone. Ridete, piangete, sbagliate. Prendetelo a pugni quel Burocrate che guarda il cronometro. Ve lo dico con umilità, con affetto, perché vi stimo, perché vi vedo migliori di me e vorrei che foste molto migliori di me. Molto: non così poco. O è ormai troppo tardi? O il Sistema vi ha già piegato, inghiottito? Sì, dev’esser così.

Serve Him We know we love God’s children if we love God and obey his commandments. 1 John 5:2 NLT The teachings of Jesus are clear: We achieve greatness through service to others. But, as weak human beings, we sometimes fall short as we seek to puff ourselves up and glorify our own accomplishments. Jesus commands otherwise. He teaches us that the most esteemed men and women are not the self-congratulatory leaders of society but are instead the humblest of servants. Today, you may feel the temptation to build yourself up in the eyes of your neighbors. Resist that temptation. Instead, serve your neighbors quietly and without fanfare. Find a need and fill it…humbly. Lend a helping hand and share a word of kindness…anonymously, for this is God’s way. As a humble servant, you will glorify yourself not before men, but before God, and that’s what God intends. After all, earthly glory is fleeting: here today and all too soon gone. But, heavenly glory endures throughout eternity. So, the choice is yours: Either you can lift yourself up here on earth and be humbled in heaven, or vice versa. Choose vice versa. If you want to discover your spiritual gifts, start obeying God. As you serve Him, you will find that He has given you the gifts that are necessary to follow through in obedience. Anne Graham Lotz We can love Jesus in the hungry, the naked, and the destitute who are dying…If you love, you will be willing to serve. And you will find Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poor. Mother Teresa Doing something positive toward another person is a practical approach to feeling good about yourself. Barbara Johnson God wants us to serve Him with a willing spirit, one that would choose no other way. Beth Moore In the very place where God has put us, whatever its limitations, whatever kind of work it may be, we may indeed serve the Lord Christ. Elisabeth Elliot I am more and more persuaded that all that is required of us is faithful seed-sowing. The harvest is bound to follow. Annie Armstrong

BIG DREAMS With God’s power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20 NCV Are you willing to entertain the possibility that God has big plans in store for you? Hopefully so. Yet sometimes, especially if you’ve recently experienced a life-altering disappointment, you may find it difficult to envision a brighter future for yourself and your family. If so, it’s time to reconsider your own capabilities . . . and God’s. Your Heavenly Father created you with unique gifts and untapped talents; your job is to tap them. When you do, you’ll begin to feel an increasing sense of confidence in yourself and in your future. So even if you’re experiencing difficult days, don’t abandon your dreams. Instead, trust that God is preparing you for greater things. The future lies all before us. Shall it only be a slight advance upon what we usually do? Ought it not to be a bound, a leap forward to altitudes of endeavor and success undreamed of before? Annie Armstrong Always stay connected to people and seek out things that bring you joy. Dream with abandon. Pray confidently. Barbara Johnson A TIMELY TIP Making your dreams come true requires work. John Maxwell writes, “The gap between your vision and your present reality can only be filled through a commitment to maximize your potential.” Enough said.

Dreaming Big Dreams When dreams come true, there is life and joy. Proverbs 13:12 NLT Are you willing to entertain the possibility that God has big plans in store for you? Hopefully so. Yet sometimes, especially if you’ve recently experienced a life-altering disappointment, you may find it difficult to envision a brighter future for yourself and your family. If so, it’s time to reconsider your own capabilities … and God’s. Your Heavenly Father created you with unique gifts and untapped talents; your job is to tap them. When you do, you’ll begin to feel an increasing sense of confidence in yourself and in your future. It takes courage to dream big dreams. You will discover that courage when you do three things: accept the past, trust God to handle the future, and make the most of the time He has given you today. Nothing is too difficult for God, and no dreams are too big for Him—not even yours. So start living—and dreaming—accordingly. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Eleanor Roosevelt The future lies all before us. Shall it only be a slight advance upon what we usually do? Ought it not to be a bound, a leap forward to altitudes of endeavor and success undreamed of before? Annie Armstrong Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. Corrie ten Boom You pay God a compliment by asking great things of Him. St. Teresa of Avila Our dreams are who we are. Barbara Sher Always stay connected to people and seek out things that bring you joy. Dream with abandon. Pray confidently. Barbara Johnson God created us with an overwhelming desire to soar. He designed us to be tremendously productive and “to mount up with wings like eagles,” realistically dreaming of what He can do with our potential. Carol Kent Allow your dreams a place in your prayers and plans. God-given dreams can help you move into the future He

He called after me, “How old am I, Maya?” I turned. “How the hell should I know? Whatever you’ve told the school, I’m sure it’s a lie anyway.” “I’m sixteen, just like you. Or like you will be tomorrow, from what I heard. My birthday was last month.” “Congratulations.” I started walking again. “I’ll send you a card next year, if you hang around that long, which I doubt.” “You don’t need to doubt it. I’ll be leaving for sure if you tell anyone about Annie.” I wheeled. “Are you threatening to take her--?” “Legally, I can’t take her anywhere. I’m sixteen, Maya. Barely sixteen. She’s nineteen. Who’s the guardian here?” I paused, then said, softly, “Oh.” “Yeah, oh. Annie and I never knew our dad. Our mom died last year when Annie was eighteen. Before the accident. So she got custody of me.” “Accident? It’s brain damage?” The look in Rafe’s eyes, the grief…It hurt just to see it, and he turned away fast, mumbling, “Yeah. It’s brain damage. Point is that if anyone finds out, I’m off to a foster home and she’s off to an institution. Which neither of us wants.” I stepped toward him. “I’m sorry. I just…” Jumped to conclusions. Big surprise. “I’m sorry.

Our mom died last year when Annie was eighteen. Before the accident. So she got custody of me.” “Accident? It’s brain damage?” The look in Rafe’s eyes, the grief…It hurt just to see it, and he turned away fast, mumbling, “Yeah. It’s brain damage. Point is that if anyone finds out, I’m off to a foster home and she’s off to an institution. Which neither of us wants.” I stepped toward him. “I’m sorry. I just…” Jumped to conclusions. Big surprise.

Then I asked, “Are you coming to the party tomorrow?” because it was, at the moment, the only change of subject I could come up with. “Daniel’s party?” Rafe looked confused, as if he couldn’t imagine why I’d think he was going to the party of a guy who obviously didn’t like him. “Well, it’s at Daniel’s place, but it’s really--” “Your birthday party. I know.” He kept giving me that look, and I didn’t blame him--I was as unlikely to invite him as Daniel was. “Everyone goes,” I said. “The whole class.” “Yeah, I know. Hayley asked if I was going, but I kind of figured that didn’t exactly count as an invitation. Unless I went with her, which I’d really rather not.” I had to laugh at his expression. “Don’t blame you. But you can now consider yourself officially invited by the birthday girl. It’s an easier way to meet people than hanging out at the smoking pit. Healthier, too.” That got a smile from him. Not that lazy grin I’d seen so often, but something as different from his usual self as that ice-cold anger I’d seen him show to Sam and, later, to me. A crooked smile. Hesitant. Not quite shy, but close enough to do more to my insides than that sexy one he tossed around so casually. When I felt that, I felt a faint pang of panic, too--something in my gut that said falling for Rafe Martinez was a bad idea. When he said, “I’ll see,” in a tone that said he wasn’t likely to show up, I was relieved. “It depends on Annie,” he said. “It’s Saturday, so she’ll expect me to stick around.” “Understandable,” I said. “Have a good weekend, then, and I’ll see you Monday.” I hurried off before he could reply.

We have to go, Annie. Say good-bye to Maya.” “She doesn’t need to--” I began. “Yes, she does.” He led Annie off before I could argue. I glowered at his retreating back. Was he embarrassed by Annie? All the hairstyling in the world wouldn’t make him a decent brother if he forced her to stay locked in a cabin all day. Maybe that was how he’d been raised, but the next time he came sniffing around, we were definitely having a chat about this. As I stormed back toward the school, I heard running footsteps behind me. “Maya!” Rafe called. “Hold up a sec.” Seems we were having that chat sooner than I expected.

Moreno was the first to see me, and he let out a curse as loud as Nicole’s shriek. He pulled a gun from his hip. An automatic pistol. Antone knocked it from his hand and pointed his flashlight at my flank. “It’s Maya,” he said. He started toward me. I was inching back, the branch too thin for me to turn around. “It could be Annie,” Penny whispered, her gaze fixed on me. “Come looking for her brother.” Antone shook his head. “That’s Maya.” He met my gaze. “I know it is.” He kept walking until he was directly under my branch. “This is your first time, isn’t it?” he said, his voice soft. “You’re scared and you’re confused--” I let out a snarl that reverberated through the quiet forest. Antone chuckled. “Or maybe not. I should have guessed you’d hit the ground running.

I’m going higher first,” I said, “to look around for Annie.” “Good idea.” I called down to Daniel to say what we were doing. Rafe was already two branches above me. I scrambled up after him. The faster I went, the faster he did, and I thought it was just coincidence until he grinned down at me.

The faster I went, the faster he did, and I thought it was just coincidence until he grinned down at me. My heart sped up and I raced after him, trying to catch up, cursing when I couldn’t. I forgot about Annie and the fire and the bear, and everything that happened before that--and it was just us again, climbing a tree, the bark rough under my hands, the sharp smell of pines surrounding me, the sound of his breathing pulsing through the air like a heartbeat. I didn’t even notice I’d caught up until I was right beside him and he was leaning around the tree, smiling at me. “Gotcha,” I said. “Uh, no. I stopped.” He waved overhead and I realized we were as high as we could safely go. “Damn,” I said.

When I reached his branch, he was sitting there, legs dangling. “Will that branch hold two?” I said, looking at it. “Maybe. The question is whether you’re willing to risk it.” I swung onto the branch and started sidling out. He grinned. “Dumb question, wasn’t it?” “It was.” “You can’t resist me.” “No, I can’t resist a dare.” I stopped. He looked at the distance between us and lifted his brows. “This seems close enough,” I said. “For safety’s sake.” “Safe from the branch breaking? Or from me?” He swung his leg over and reached for me, pulling me into a kiss. He started slow, shifting, checking my balance. I backed up a little and swung my leg over, so we were both straddling. “Better?” I said. “Much.” He gave me a real kiss then, deep and hungry, and I think the branch could have snapped and I wouldn’t have noticed until I hit the ground. Maybe not even then. We kissed, barely coming up for air, until a giggle sounded below us. Then a singsong voice. “Rafe and Maya sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.” “Annie…” Rafe peered down at his sister, beaming up at us. “I thought I asked you to stay inside today.” “I was careful.” She grabbed the lowest branch and swung up. “I wanted to see Maya. I wanted to make sure she was coming over for dinner.” “I haven’t invited her yet.” Annie grabbed our branch. “Whoa, no!” Rafe said as it dipped. “She can’t come over if she falls and breaks both her legs.” “She won’t do that, silly. She’ll land on her feet. Just like me.” “Rather not test that theory,” he said and leaned over me to unwrap her fingers from the branch.

He swung his leg over and reached for me, pulling me into a kiss. He started slow, shifting, checking my balance. I backed up a little and swung my leg over, so we were both straddling. “Better?” I said. “Much.” He gave me a real kiss then, deep and hungry, and I think the branch could have snapped and I wouldn’t have noticed until I hit the ground. Maybe not even then. We kissed, barely coming up for air, until a giggle sounded below us. Then a singsong voice. “Rafe and Maya sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.” “Annie…” Rafe peered down at his sister, beaming up at us. “I thought I asked you to stay inside today.

You okay?” Rafe said when the bear was gone. I sat on a branch and pulled my foot up. My sock was ripped, but the bear’s teeth hadn’t broken the skin. I squeezed my foot and winced. “Just bruised,” I said. “Maya?” Daniel called. I tried to see him but couldn’t through the thick evergreens. “We’re fine!” I yelled. “You?” He said he was all right, and I was about to climb down, when Rafe climbed over to my branch and crouched there. “Seems that control-over-animals thing doesn’t work so well with the animals we really need control over.” “No kidding, huh?” I said. His head tilted as he scanned the forest. When he glanced back at me, I thought he was going to say something, but he only nodded toward the ground and said, “We should go. Fire’s still coming. I can smell it.” I twisted to kneel on the branch, so I could lower myself to the next one. As I did, I glanced up and realized we were in the biggest tree around. Which gave me an idea. “I’m going higher first,” I said, “to look around for Annie.” “Good idea.” I called down to Daniel to say what we were doing. Rafe was already two branches above me. I scrambled up after him. The faster I went, the faster he did, and I thought it was just coincidence until he grinned down at me.

I’m going higher first,” I said, “to look around for Annie.” “Good idea.” I called down to Daniel to say what we were doing. Rafe was already two branches above me. I scrambled up after him. The faster I went, the faster he did, and I thought it was just coincidence until he grinned down at me. My heart sped up and I raced after him, trying to catch up, cursing when I couldn’t. I forgot about Annie and the fire and the bear, and everything that happened before that--and it was just us again, climbing a tree, the bark rough under my hands, the sharp smell of pines surrounding me, the sound of his breathing pulsing through the air like a heartbeat. I didn’t even notice I’d caught up until I was right beside him and he was leaning around the tree, smiling at me. “Gotcha,” I said. “Uh, no. I stopped.” He waved overhead and I realized we were as high as we could safely go. “Damn,” I said. He laughed and I looked into his eyes, then swallowed hard and turned away to look for Annie. As I did, my hip bumped the trunk and something jabbed into my hip. I pulled out his bracelet. “You’d better take this,” I said. He shook his head. “I still need to take off, track down answers. Keep it.” “But it’s important to you.” “Proving I mean it when I say I’ll be back.” My cheeks heated and I pressed it into his hand. “Please. I don’t want to lose it.” He took it. Before I could pull my hand back, he caught my wrist and tied the bracelet around it. “Problem solved.” I tried to glance down at it, but his fingers slid under my chin, eyes closing as his mouth moved toward mine. Our lips brushed. Then his eyes snapped open and he pulled back fast. I jerked away. “Right. Bad idea. We--” “No.” He pointed. “That.” I twisted to see a wall of smoke heading straight for us.

The truck rounded the last corner. It was more like a cube van, yellow with some kind of crest on the side. I struggled for a better look. The air was getting hazy now. Invisible smoke stung my eyes. “The fire department?” Rafe scowled at Daniel. “We’re running from a fire and hiding from the fire department?” I could see the insignia now--a red crest with a lighthouse in the middle. An auxiliary vehicle for Nanaimo Fire Rescue. Rafe started getting up. “Wait,” Daniel said sharply, not a request but a command. I swore Rafe’s hackles rose. “Just hold on a sec,” I said. “No. I’m sorry, Maya, but this is nuts. I need to get to town and see if Annie’s there.” “Go on, then,” Daniel said. “But don’t expect me to come to your rescue if you do something stupid again.” Rafe stopped, crouching. “Stupid? What the hell did I--?” “Standing up to a bear? Yeah, kinda stupid.” Rafe’s face reddened.

Wait,” Daniel said sharply, not a request but a command. I swore Rafe’s hackles rose. “Just hold on a sec,” I said. “No. I’m sorry, Maya, but this is nuts. I need to get to town and see if Annie’s there.” “Go on, then,” Daniel said. “But don’t expect me to come to your rescue if you do something stupid again.” Rafe stopped, crouching. “Stupid? What the hell did I--?” “Standing up to a bear? Yeah, kinda stupid." Rafe's face reddened.

Yes, I know your reputation,” he continued. “So when we started heating up, I knew something might be wrong. That’s why I asked if you’d been drinking. Even when you said no, I wasn’t sure, but, hell, of course I wanted to think you were just that into me.” Definitely a valid point. “And, let’s be totally honest. If a guy gives a girl a roofie, he’s not looking for a make-out session. If my hands weren’t wandering by that point, they weren’t going to.” He shifted on the branch. “I wish I could prove I didn’t do it, Maya, but I can’t. I can only say that it doesn’t make sense. I’d risk getting the crap beat out of me by Daniel, becoming a total social outcast, and maybe even getting arrested and losing Annie. As much as I like you, one make-out session isn’t worth that. And I do like you, meaning one make-out session definitely isn’t worth that if it’d be the last one I’d ever get.” He looked at me, like he was expecting to see something in my face, and when he didn’t, he frowned. “I do like you, Maya. You get that, right?” “Why?” His frown deepened. “Why what?” “Why do you like me?” He laughed. “Do you want a list? Smart, pretty, funny--” “That’s not what I--” I shook my head. “Never mind.

I thought I asked you to stay inside today.” “I was careful.” She grabbed the lowest branch and swung up. “I wanted to see Maya. I wanted to make sure she was coming over for dinner.” “I haven’t invited her yet.” Annie grabbed our branch. “Whoa, no!” Rafe said as it dipped. “She can’t come over if she falls and breaks both her legs.

I wanted to see Maya. I wanted to make sure she was coming over for dinner.” “I haven’t invited her yet.” Annie grabbed our branch. “Whoa, no!” Rafe said as it dipped. “She can’t come over if she falls and breaks both her legs.” “She won’t do that, silly. She’ll land on her feet. Just like me.” “Rather not test that theory,” he said and leaned over me to unwrap her fingers from the branch.

Where’s Annie?” “She--” Rafe stopped and looked at Daniel. “Took off?” I said. “Like she does sometimes?” He nodded. “We set out this morning, but we didn’t get far before she…” “Ran away,” I finished. A glance at Daniel, then he went on. “Right.

How did Rafe make it back so fast? Same way we did. He stole a ride. A motorcycle. In his case, though, he skipped all the steps between. No tortuous trek through the woods--he’d landed relatively close to a town. No attempts to get help, because Rafe wasn’t like us. His life experience was closer to Sam’s. His mom had sheltered him as best she could from the ugliness of life on the run, but he hadn’t grown up in a world where you could stroll into town, ask strangers for help, and expect to get it. Annie used to have a motorcycle, he said, and she’d taught him to ride it. He also knew how to hot-wire one. I wasn’t asking how. Like I said, his life experience wasn’t ours.

Annie used to have a motorcycle, he said, and she’d taught him to ride it. He also knew how to hot-wire one. I wasn’t asking how. Like I said, his life experience wasn’t ours.

I thought about everything he’d told me about his past, and I wished he’d told me more. I thought of what he’d said to me about his dreams for the future, what he wanted in life, and I realized how little of that I knew. He wanted to fix Annie. Beyond that? I had no idea. Was there a future he’d wanted? One he’d imagined? Or had he just concentrated on the present and getting through it? Only he hadn’t gotten through it. He hadn’t fixed Annie. He’d come to Salmon Creek to find me for answers, and I’d gotten him killed. No future. Not for Rafe. Just…gone. I looked down at the leather band on my wrist--his bracelet--and thought, I don’t deserve this. I was ready to pull it off, climb a tree, and leave it there, in his memory. Then I stopped. I didn’t deserve his bracelet, but maybe I still could earn it. Find Annie, if she was still alive. Help her. Finish what he started. I took a deep breath and touched the bracelet’s cat’s-eye stone. I’m going to fix this. I know I can’t--my breath caught--can’t fix it all, but I’ll do what I can. I promise. I squeezed my eyes shut and I sent out the promise again, fingers on the stone. I sensed him close by. Felt him, smelled him-- “I knew I’d find you here,” a voice said behind me. “Sooner or later.” My heart stopped and I knew I was hearing wrong, that it must be Daniel, come to find me, but my mind was still fixed on-- “Rafe,” I whispered. I turned. He was walking out of the forest and he was grinning and…and there was no “and” because that was all I could think. My eyes shut. I didn’t want them to. I didn’t care if it was an illusion, I wanted to see him one more time before the vision disappeared and I was left with that last horrible memory of him falling from the helicopter. “I know I’m looking a little rough,” he said. “But I didn’t think it was that bad.” His voice came closer. “Open your eyes, Maya,” he whispered. “It’s me.

I rubbed my face. “It’s back to normal, “ Daniel said. “What?” I peered at him through my fingers. “Your face. It looks normal, so you can stop rubbing. It wasn’t bad before anyway. Just a little…different.” He reached to pull one hand from my face. “I know you’re worried about what happened to Annie and whether it will happen to you. You’re probably worried about the whole ‘changing into a cat’ part, too. But it’s going to be okay. We’ll figure this out and we’ll find help and it’ll be okay. I promise.” I nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said. “About what?” “Yesterday. I made that bone-headed comment about werewolves, and you decided not to tell me yet.” “No, that’s not--” “Liar. It was a dumb thing to say.” “Um, no, I’m pretty sure that changing into an animal does qualify as a crazy idea.” “Sure, but in a crazy cool way. I’m jealous. What do I get? Some kind of sonic boom shout? As superpowers go, very lame.

I know that just means you understand. At least, I hope you do.” “I do.” I understand that you had an impossible choice to make. I understand that I couldn’t be that choice. It had to be both of us--Annie and me--safe, and what you wanted didn’t matter. Just like when you let go of my hands in the helicopter.

Still up for talking about your powers? What you’ve been feeling?” “Absolutely.” Unfortunately, any discussion of my powers led to thoughts of shape-shifting, which led to thoughts of Annie, which led to worry. Worry? Hell, no. Let’s call it what it really was. Outright panic.

Unfortunately, any discussion of my powers led to thoughts of shape-shifting, which led to thoughts of Annie, which led to worry. Worry? Hell, no. Let’s call it what it really was. Outright panic. If I even started thinking of it, my heart pounded and my mouth went dry. When I tried to skate over the subject, Daniel brought me back, and we hashed it out. Turning out like Annie wasn’t a certainty--she was the only subject we knew who’d begun to shift. Growing up in a medical research town meant we knew all about side effects and outliers. Her case might be a one-off. And if it wasn’t? Then we knew where to find the scientists who’d done this to us. We didn’t trust them. We didn’t want anything to do with them. Still… “If that happens to you, we’re getting their help,” Daniel said. “But--” He put his hand over my mouth. “No buts. If it happens to you, we go to them. We’ll force them to fix you on our terms.” A wry smile. “I can make people do things, remember?” I was sure it wouldn’t be that easy. But having him say it? Be willing to take that risk for me? It meant a lot.

I wish--” He looked away, then leaned toward my ear again so I couldn’t see his face. “There’s no other way. Annie needs me. And you…you don’t. Not like that. You can look after yourself and…” He straightened and gave me a crooked smile. “By then you’ll be happy to be rid of me, I’m sure.” I leaned forward and whispered, “No, I won’t.” Then I kissed him. Just a kiss, my hands still at my sides. When I pulled back, he looked stunned. Then he rubbed his mouth and said, “I know that just means you understand. At least, I hope you do.” “I do.

That reception didn’t improve once we got in the house. Rafe was happy to see Sam was okay. Whether you like a person or not, you don’t wish them a horrible death. Sam, though…Well, I’d spent long enough with her now to realize she was lacking certain filters most of us have. “So, I guess you’ll be moving on, then?” she said. “Got things to do? Places to be?” Daniel winced. Corey lifted his brows. Rafe only sputtered a laugh. “Well, at least you didn’t say you’re sorry to see me alive,” he said. “You know what I mean,” Sam said. “Um, no,” I said. “We don’t. Rafe just survived a fall from a helicopter and trekked back here to meet us--” “Meet you,” Sam said. “And what I meant was that he’ll be leaving to look for his sister. Right?” “I am looking for Annie,” Rafe said. “But I can do that with you guys, especially if she’s been captured by the same people who have Nicole and Hayley. Maya tells me you have a cell phone. It probably wasn’t a good idea to use it, but since no one swooped down while you were waiting here--” “Which is why I insisted on waiting here.” Sam lifted her chin. “If the Nasts were tracking the phone, they’d have come here and found me alone. But no one showed up. Now, Maya, if you can stop gaping at Rafe for a few minutes, we really should come up with a plan.

There’s no woman in Vancouver is there?” I said as I pushed back my wet hair. The water was cooling now. “No contacts your mom gave you.” “No, that’s a story they fed me. But we’re going to follow it, because getting you guys to Vancouver is the best chance you have.” You guys. Not us. Best chance you have. Not we. “When we get to Vancouver, you’ll pretend to suddenly realize it’s a trap,” he said. “You’ll turn on me and you’ll run, and leave me behind.” “But they’ll--” “They’ll catch me. I know. It’s the only way. They’ll think I did my best, so Annie will be safe. I wish--” He looked away, then leaned toward my ear again so I couldn’t see his face. “There’s no other way. Annie needs me. And you…you don’t. Not like that. You can look after yourself and…” He straightened and gave me a crooked smile. “By then you’ll be happy to be rid of me, I’m sure.” I leaned forward and whispered, “No, I won’t.” Then I kissed him. Just a kiss, my hands still at my sides. When I pulled back, he looked stunned. Then he rubbed his mouth and said, “I know that just means you understand. At least, I hope you do.” “I do.” I understand that you had an impossible choice to make. I understand that I couldn’t be that choice. It had to be both of us--Annie and me--safe, and what you wanted didn’t matter. Just like when you let go of my hands in the helicopter. I said the same words he’d said to me before he’d let go. “It’s okay.” A twisted smile. “No, not really. But it’ll be okay soon. Or as close as it can get.