Alphabet Of Manliness Quotes

But most of all, I’d like to thank me. Without me, none of this would have been possible. I really did a bang-up job on this book, and I deserve all the credit. I hereby revoke all the gratitude I expressed above and keep it for myself.

In the beginning, when God created the heavens—a vast and expansive cloud of dust and gas that eventually coalesced into planets revolving around a hydrogenous fusion core—he also fancied creating Earth, a planet ripe with the dust of creation. Being the resourceful God that he is, he decided to put all this dust to good use and to create man from it. It took millions of years and countless particles of matter to culminate in the creation of man, and what does Adam do when he’s put on Earth? What every red-blooded man does when he gets some free time: nothing

THE BUTT A woman’s posterior is the most grabbable part of her body, but first you must learn to find the right type of ass to grab. There’s a great variety of asses out there, but unfortunately many of them aren’t worth touching even in a clinical setting. The ideal type of woman for groping is a woman blessed with a thick ass. Don’t confuse a “thick” ass for a fat ass (Figure 2). A fat ass is a sad ass. You don’t want anything to do with a fat ass, other than to loathe it. A thick ass, on the other hand, is plump and beautiful; it should make you feel hungry like when you see a glazed ham that you can’t afford in a Christmas catalogue (Figure 3). This is the best-case scenario for ass connoisseurs. You won’t find a butt riper for the picking, so don’t pass that ass.

Yes, a gay man calling a straight sex hotline is very eighth- grade funny, O’Halloran, but at least my sexual partners have never needed to draw me an anatomical map with an X marking the spot that, at best, you only found by accident while you were motorboating her—a tip you probably read about on a wildly hetero blog called something like Manliness 101, where that same expert also said, with absolute conviction, that the alphabet trick works.