Aloha From Hell Quotes

When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.

The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes.

It's so quiet and peaceful out here I'm getting bored with breathing. Maybe we'll get lucky and the world will go to Hell again. Fingers crossed.

This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us sex and told us not to do it. You played three-card monte with our souls from day one, and when we couldn't find the queen, you sent us to Hell to be tortured for eternity. That was your great plan for humanity? All you gave us here was daisies and fairy tales and you acted like that was enough. How were we supposed to resist evil when you didn't even tell us about it?

I guarantee you I'm not going to forget your voice. We're going to run into each other down the road sometime, and when we do I'm going to pop you apart one rivet at a time." "There's the monster. Hello, monster.

I wish I could say, “No more Mr. Nice Guy,” but the boat sailed on that one a long time ago.

Sometimes just seeing a woman smile is like a knife in the heart. It hurts and it rattles your whole system, but against all your instincts you swallow the pain and keep looking. After a while you realize it doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would.

You're quite the humanitarian. By the way, thanks a fuck of a lot for leaving me off your who-to-save list. You're on it, Alfredo Garcia. I just didn't want to say it out loud and have you call me Nancy or Tinker Bell. Yeah, I would have done that.

Calm down. Deep breaths. Go to your happy place. Oh, wait. I don’t have one.

It's more like how some people can't help but bring out the not necessarily righteous parts of your personality. Like how you meet someone and instantly know they're a full-time professional victim, and no matter how hard you try, something takes over and you can't help needling them.

Kids need their minds blown every now and then. It’ll keep them from thinking that managing a McDonald’s is the most they can hope for.

Make her stop. I’m hungover and she has a robot. It’s not fair.” “Life is fair only in the grave and in the bedroom. This, you will notice, is neither.

You murder someone at the Ice Capades and the place goes apeshit. You blow someone’s head off in a war zone, people step over the body and have a snack.

When you’re born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it’s not.

The lucky among us might get the same deal as Dysmas. Dysmas was one of the thieves crucified next to Christ. When he asked for forgiveness, Christ said, ‘Today you will be with me in paradise.’ ” Candy

Fuck this place and fuck your games. This is where you first failed us. You gave us minds and told us not to think. You gave us curiosity and put a booby-trapped tree right in front of us. You gave us sex and told us not to do it. You played three-card monte with our souls from day one, and when we couldn’t find the queen, you sent us to Hell to be tortured for eternity. That was your great plan for humanity? Whatever

Lucifer was his name in Perdition. In Heaven, he’s Samael.

Every day I walk down Hollywood Boulevard and see civilians making themselves crazy worrying about the meetings they're late for or did they put the rent check in the mail or is their ass starting to sag and I think, "I've seen the creaky clockwork that turns the stars and planets. I've gotten drunk with the devil and body-slammed angels. I've seen the Room of Thirteen Doors at the center of the universe. I know the taste of my own blood as well as you know your favorite wine. I've seen so much more than you'll ever see." And then it hits me like a runaway semi. I don't know anything that matters.

Be a rock, James. Otherwise, you’ll lose everything.

It seemed to be going well. You see, a Qliphoth can only possess an imperfect and impure body, one that’s sinned. Of course, that describes all humans except maybe for the saints. When I eat a possessed person’s sins, their body returns to a pure and holy state. With nowhere left to hide, the Qliphoth is ejected like someone spitting out a watermelon seed.

I can’t.” I scoot forward on the chair and lean close to Carolyn. She freezes, trying to keep her eyes from meeting mine. “Or maybe you’re not Hunter’s friend and you gave him a hot shot. Is that what you did, Carolyn? Did someone give you a special dose of Akira just for Hunter?” Stop digging, boys, we struck oil. Carolyn’s brain is still humming like a tuning fork, but at least she’s focused on something now. It’s there in her eyes. She’s beating herself silly trying to make all the contradictions and lies in her life add up to something sane. She really believes she’s Hunter’s friend, but the meth fog she lives in lets her justify giving Hunter drugs she knew were bad because someone up the food chain promised her more drugs or more money or the chance to settle a long-standing debt. Whatever her reasons, she feels guilty as hell. The addict self-pity tears start pumping out of her red and bruised eyes. I want to smack her to see if it snaps her brain back into gear, but I just pat her lightly on the shoulder. I keep my voice low, like I’m speaking to a child.

If you’re in the exorcism business, you must know a lot about demons.” “Qliphoth,” he says. “What?” “It’s the proper word for what you call a demon. A demon is a bogeyman, an irrational entity representing fear in the collective unconscious. The Qliphoth are the castoffs of a greater entity. The old gods. They’re dumb and their lack of intelligence makes them pure evil.” “Okay, Daniel Webster. What happened at the exorcism?” Traven takes a breath and stares at his hands for a minute. “You should know that I don’t follow the Church’s standard exorcism rites. For instance, I seldom speak Latin. If Qliphoth really are lost fragments of the Angra Om Ya, the older dark gods, they’re part of creatures millions of years old. Why would Latin have any effect on them?

That’s not terribly comforting, but I suppose it will have to do.” “That pretty much sums up Hell.

Maybe these are a little farther down the road to Candy Land.

I came back to earth to kill things, so I have to expect things to fight back occasionally.

There are Hellions down there with more honor than half the humans I meet.

I heard every time you call an excommunicated priest ‘Father,’ an angel gets hemorrhoids.

Dying isn’t the worst thing in the world, but dying because you’re stupid is.

There's nothing I could have done about it then and there's nothing I can do about it now and that's what I have to live with. Maybe that right there is the definition of life. Being alive is learning how to live with the intolerable.