Alison Armstrong Quotes

A person's will is enabled, strengthened, by love. The greater their ability to dwell in love, the more potent their will.

Objectification is the female equivalent of emasculation.

Unlike the fairy tale princes, real men do not like having to save someone.

Being able to let go of a righteous position is a key to creating partnership.

A compulsion to get married is not the same as a desire to partner.

A smart man will always choose an ounce of prevention over a pound of cure,” he

some women turn frogs into princes. But that takes a queen, not a princess — or a shrew. Like most women, you, my dear, turn princes into frogs!

If you're always trying to impress me, how come you don't take out the trash?” The look on his face was priceless. He blurted out in undisguised bewilderment, “That would impress you?

Women are instinctively motivated by perfection, and the need to be perceived as perfect enough to be pleasing — and therefore, protected and provided for. But not too perfect so as to cause jealousy in other women. This is the source of our drive to improve ourselves, and our fear of standing out at the same time.

Men do not get credit for their wisdom about partnership. In fact, while they instinctively compete and conceal, men are more compelled to partner than women.

She'd assumed the prince was for show, and the frog was their true nature being revealed. What if they actually were Princes? And something I did changed them?

she fell asleep wondering if turning frogs into princes could be learned. Or do you have to be born royalty?

The bigger your commitments, the more help you are going to need.

Ninety-nine percent of the confusion and frustration between men and women is because we assume we’re versions of each other. It goes both ways, although men are a little bit more forgiving. They allow for the mystery of women. But honestly, when men look at women they see a softer, more lovely, multitasking, emotionally-indulgent man. And they interact with us as if we’re men! Realizing that we’re not versions of each other meant that I needed to pay much closer attention to men than I’d originally planned.

You have a good argument, Karen. And, would you be willing to consider this from another point of view?

Armstrong,

gifts of words and time and touch.

compassionate humor is an expression of Human Spirit. As you battle your own most primitive, defensive reactions, there is no better weapon.

Women are instinctively motivated by perfection, and the need to be perceived as perfect enough to be pleasing — and therefore, protected and provided for. But not too perfect so as to cause jealousy in other women. This is the source of our drive to improve ourselves, and our fear of standing out at the same time.” Karen

Celebrate your accomplishments so thoroughly as to burn the bridge to whom you were before,’” Claudia responded. “This is extremely important, especially on a lifelong journey. You must stop from time to time and lay claim to the progress you have made. And close off the option of retreating to a smaller version of yourself. Your accomplishments may be new skills or abilities, or new horizons that you could not see before. It could be new relationships or new possibilities in existing relationships. By claiming them, you mark your progress. It helps to fight off the despair when the way before you seems endless.

hope that somehow the partnership that eluded her would come within reach. Though she felt pessimistic, it was hope that made her try one more time. It was also hope that had her marry Mathew. The hope that after their wedding, he’d resume being the affectionate and engaging companion he was during their courtship. When Mathew remained as distant as he had become during their engagement, despite the ring on his finger, she blamed it on her flaws. She set out to make Mathew love her more and want her more by perfecting herself. She lost weight, she learned to cook the same meals as his mother, she even climbed mountains in the dead of winter. But nothing worked. After four years of trying, she concluded she lacked “the Grace Kelly gene.” This was the only way Kimberlee could justify why her husband never pursued her with gifts. Especially the ones she craved most: gifts of words and time and touch. Again, it was hope that had her leave Mathew. She’d rather risk being alone for the rest of her life to have a chance at the union she believed was possible. Yes, she wanted children and a family. But she needed support and attention, and laughter and passion. She wanted love and affection, and couldn’t live without interest and respect. It wasn’t hope that led her to Brett. That was pure chemistry and charisma. And for a while, it worked. He was attentive,

She is miserable because women tend to think that whatever bad thing is happening now will continue forever. While they often think that a good thing will disappear any moment. We lack perspective since the worry part of our brain — the amygdala — is more active than in men. It can make us lose faith.

Here are some additional books that I recommend… The Queen’s Code – Alison Armstrong For Women Only – Shaunti Feldhahn The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman The Way of the Superior Man – David Deida

do with each other?” Claudia smiled a knowing smile.

You have to understand that objectification isn’t limited to women though. We do it to everyone we can’t handle. It takes a complex, multi-dimensional being and reduces them into a simple, single classification thing. That’s where ‘objectification’ comes from: ‘object,’ another word for ‘thing.’ To objectify is to reduce to thing-ness. We were taught to do it in the military because otherwise many found it impossible to fire a gun at another human being. If he was merely a ‘jap’ or a ‘kraut’ it could be done. Pardon my language.

Yes, exactly Karen. The socks are irrelevant to whatever Mike has committed himself to. Whatever he is focused on. It takes no effort for him to screen them out. He is not even consciously doing it. His brain takes care of that. The feminine brain, however, is taxed by the effort to screen out socks on the floor, crooked pillows, grungy counters and anything ugly. If a woman has to live in a mess, you will find her engrossed in a book or a movie in order to find some peace.

Kimberlee expected. “Peace from what?” she asked. Claudia chuckled. “Peace from all the racket. Every one of those things is ‘talking’ to her. Demanding that she do something about them. Her awareness makes a disorderly environment ‘loud’ and disruptive. It is why a woman ‘multitasks.’ Because the things in her environment are competing for her attention. Demanding that she attend to them. Literally, nagging her. And not only things. She is aware of the mental, physical and emotional states of all the people around her as well.

Noticing is the beginning of consciousness. Until you notice your thoughts, they think you, and you have no choice about your actions.

before

When you see me, one of the pitfalls of the perception of me is that there is a whole horde of expectations. Since you’re me you’re gonna act like me. You’re going to think like me. You’re going to need what I need. You’re going to hate what I hate. I can tell you’re not me but I am still going to try to give you what you would need if you were me but I don’t understand why it doesn’t work because it’s logical this ought to work. I don’t understand why it doesn’t work. Oh you’re really not me in way more ways than I thought. I thought you just had soft skin, and a beautiful smile, and those curves to die for, and that twinkle in your eye that just makes a whole day better and when you smile life is good. I didn’t know that the brain in your head has a different set of perceptions, processes information differently, has different connections between verbal centers and all the rest of the brain than mine does at least until I’m about 60 years old, and has a worry center that’s bigger than the worry center in my brain and is twice as active so what if questions are really scary to you, and happen a lot and that’s something I should always keep in mind, and I don’t know any of that because I think the way you’re not me is that you have this - oooh all that deliciousness. I don’t realize that it comes with a completely different world view. I don’t know that so I’m trying to give you even though I know you’re not me, I’m going to try to give you what I need. So when you’re upset I’m going to leave you alone, so you can calm down and work it through and then we’ll talk. Worst possible thing you could do with most women. But a woman because they look at men and you’re me so when you’re upset I’m gonna try to soothe you, talk to you, encourage you to express your feelings, let’s talk this out. And if you go away to calm down and think it through I’m going to chase you. I’m gonna come after you because I’m sure you need this.

And so what I had to distinguish to get to the bottom of women taking men down, which after it was pointed out to me and I got that as long as I was taking men’s power I would never know my own. I could see that every time I took a man’s power, I’d have a moment of glee, but it just reinforced my own sense of weakness - that I did not have enough power to deal head on, to be honest, let alone be in a partnership. Are you kidding me? And so when I laid down my sword, I was stunned, because I set out to learn how I was bringing out the worst in men and maybe how I could bring the best in men. And when I just stopped attacking - just stopped. Every time I was triggered, I just sat down with a grenade… And I just set it down. I didn’t attack no matter how hard I was provoked. And I was stunned at who men became around me. I wasn’t doing anything nice, I just wasn’t being mean anymore. That was the beginning, I called it the transformation of the castration club. I’d find out what triggered a woman to emasculate a man. What was her trigger? And then I’d find out how they did it. So how did they attack his power? Try to take his power, undermine him, take the wind out of his sails. And then most importantly is how they justified having done that. We don’t ask women to stop emasculating men. It’s a response. It’s a fear and frustration, it’s a reaction to fear and frustration, sometimes terror, a lifetime of terror, and this terrible fear that if men have power, obviously you’re going to use it against us. I was 16 years old when I decided men are bigger and stronger and they’ll hurt me. And I adopted that the best defence is a good offense. Hand me your balls and then we’ll talk. And I used everything. I used my sexuality. I used my intellect. I used my sense of humour. I used everything to protect myself from men. But I didn’t know I was doing it. What we ask women to do is to give up the right because women believe they have the right that anything any man has done that’s bad gives us the right to emasculate all of you. Anytime a man uses his power against us it gives us the right to take every man’s power. It’s hideous. And guys you can become impervious to this. That’s my message if you look the dragon in the eyes and see how terrified she is, you can lean into it. And – and we’re terrified.