“
By seeing the person as separate from the disease, by detaching, we can stop being hurt by groundless insults or angered by outrageous lies.
”
”
Al-Anon Family Groups (How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups (2008))
“
Being a Sponsor is as much a commitment to myself as it is to someone else. It is not a favor. Sponsorship gives me a chance to share intimately, to care, to practice detaching with love, and to apply the Al-Anon principles more consciously than ever. And, if I listen to my own words, I find that I usually tell those whom I sponsor exactly what I myself need to hear. “Give what you have. To someone, it may be better than you dare to think.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
”
”
Al-Anon Family Groups (Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II)
“
Learning to detach often begins by learning to take a moment before reacting to alcoholic behavior. In that moment we can ask ourselves, “Is this behavior coming from the person or the disease
”
”
Al-Anon Family Groups (How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups (2008))
“
It takes time and practice to master detachment. Beginning the process is important, even if we do it badly at first and must later make amends.
”
”
Al-Anon Family Groups (How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups (2008))
“
Resentment will do nothing except tear us apart inside. No one ever found serenity through hatred. No one ever truly recovered from the effects of alcoholism by harboring anger or fear, or by holding on to grudges. Hostility keeps us tied to the abuses of the past. Even if the alcoholic is long gone from our lives or has refrained from drinking for many years, we, too, need to learn to detach. We need to step back from the memories of alcoholic behavior that continue to haunt us. We begin to detach when we identify the disease of alcoholism as the cause of the behavior and recognize that our ongoing struggle with unpleasant memories is an effect of that disease. We, too, must find within us compassion for the alcoholic who suffered from this terrible illness.
”
”
Al-Anon Family Groups (How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics by Al-Anon Family Groups (2008))
“
Detachment allows us to let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.
”
”
Al-Anon Family Groups (Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II)
“
detach with love Some family members practice detaching with love, a concept promoted by Al-Anon,
”
”
Paul T. Mason (Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder)
“
Change your mind and your life will follow.
”
”
Karen Casey (Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow: 12 Simple Principles (Al-anon Book, Detachment Book, Fighting Addiction, for Readers of Let Go Now))