A Series Of Unfortunate Events Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to A Series Of Unfortunate Events. Here they are! All 60 of them:

β€œ
People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Grim Grotto (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #11))
β€œ
I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12))
β€œ
If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3))
β€œ
Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Beatrice Letters (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.
”
”
Lemony Snicket
β€œ
It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Grim Grotto (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #11))
β€œ
...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
Well-read people are less likely to be evil.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Slippery Slope (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #10))
β€œ
The sad truth is the truth is sad.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Hostile Hospital (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #8))
β€œ
I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Carnivorous Carnival (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #9))
β€œ
They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #2))
β€œ
Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Carnivorous Carnival (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #9))
β€œ
To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn't work, there is nothing left.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Beatrice Letters (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral of 'Snow White' is 'Never eat apples.' The moral of World War I is 'Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3))
β€œ
People don't always get what they deserve in this world.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
They're book addicts.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #4))
β€œ
As I am sure you know, when people say 'It's my pleasure,' they usually mean something along the lines of, 'There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less.' [...]
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12))
β€œ
If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #6))
β€œ
If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine it.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #5))
β€œ
It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, many types of people, and everybody wants to read something different.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Slippery Slope (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #10))
β€œ
Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Carnivorous Carnival (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #9))
β€œ
I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Beatrice Letters (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The End (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #13))
β€œ
Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The End (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #13))
β€œ
One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12))
β€œ
I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Beatrice Letters (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12))
β€œ
There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3))
β€œ
A new experience can be extremely pleasurable, or extremely irritating, or somewhere in between, and you never know until you try it out.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally. "No," Sunny answered. "Me neither," Violet said, "but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #6))
β€œ
it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Hostile Hospital (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #8))
β€œ
Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it would be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3))
β€œ
Like a church bell, a coffin, and a vat of melted chocolate, a supply closet is rarely a comfortable place to hide.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Blank Book (A Series of Unfortunate Events))
β€œ
The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
The burning of a book is a sad, sad sight, for even though a book is nothing but ink and paper, it feels as if the ideas contained in the book are disappearing as the pages turn to ashes and the cover and binding--which is the term for the stitching and glue that holds the pages together--blacken and curl as the flames do their wicked work. When someone is burning a book, they are showing utter contempt for all of the thinking that produced its ideas, all of the labor that went into its words and sentences, and all of the trouble that befell the author . . .
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12))
β€œ
Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Penultimate Peril (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #12))
β€œ
Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make -- bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake -- if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it had floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you'd made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #5))
β€œ
The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world. If you are stricken with a great sadness, you may feel as if you have been set aflame, not only because of the enormous pain, but also because your sadness may spread over your life, like smoke from an enormous fire. You might find it difficult to see anything but your own sadness, the way smoke can cover a landscape so that all anyone can see is black. You may find that if someone pours water all over you, you are damp and distracted, but not cured of your sadness, the way a fire department can douse a fire but never recover what has been burnt down.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
If you feel . . . that well-read people are less likely to be evil, and a world full of people sitting quietly with good books in their hands is preferable to world filled with schisms and sirens and other noisy and troublesome things, then every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, 'The world is quiet here,' as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Slippery Slope (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #10))
β€œ
One of the greatest myths in the world - & the phrase 'greatest myths' is just a fancy way of saying 'big fat lies' -- is that troublesome things get less & less troublesome if you do them more & more. People say this myth when they are teaching children to ride bicycles, for instance, as though falling off a bicycle & skinning your knee is less troublesome the fourteenth time you do it than it is the first time. The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, & that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Ersatz Elevator (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #6))
β€œ
It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1))
β€œ
It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happiness is easier to get used to than despair. The second time you have a root beer float, for instance, your happiness at sipping the delicious concoction may not be quite as enormous as when you first had a root beer float, and the twelfth time your happiness may be still less enormous, until root beer floats begin to offer you very little happiness at all, because you have become used to the taste of vanilla ice cream and root beer mixed together. However, the second time you find a thumbtack in your root beer float, your despair is much greater than the first time, when you dismissed the thumbtack as a freak accident rather than part of the scheme of a soda jerk, a phrase which here means "ice cream shop employee who is trying to injure your tongue," and by the twelfth time you find a thumbtack, your despair is even greater still, until you can hardly utter the phrase "root beer float" without bursting into tears. It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The End (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #13))
β€œ
I was in the winter of my life- and the men I met along the road were my only summer. At night I fell sleep with visions of myself dancing and laughing and crying with them. Three years down the line of being on an endless world tour and memories of them were the only things that sustained me, and my only real happy times. I was a singer, not a very popular one, who once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet- but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again- sparkling and broken. But I really didn’t mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is. When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had been living- they asked me why. But there’s no use in talking to people who have a home, they have no idea what its like to seek safety in other people, for home to be wherever you lay your head. I was always an unusual girl, my mother told me that I had a chameleon soul. No moral compass pointing me due north, no fixed personality. Just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide as wavering as the ocean. And if I said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying- because I was born to be the other woman. I belonged to no one- who belonged to everyone, who had nothing- who wanted everything with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me. Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people- and finally I did- on the open road. We have nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore- except to make our lives into a work of art.
”
”
Lana Del Rey
β€œ
I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and ats the horseradish loves the miyagi, and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp... I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close... I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else--and i will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.
”
”
Lemony Snicket (The Beatrice Letters (A Series of Unfortunate Events))