Dyer Self Love Quotes

When you're at peace with yourself and love your self, it is virtually impossible to do things to yourself that are destructive.

If you fight yourself, you will lose, and fighting leaves scares.

Here is the guts of both self-and other-directed love. Never confuse your self-worth (which is a given) with your behavior, or the behavior of others toward you.

Self-worth comes from the belief that I have integrity, I am valuable, I am attractive, I am important. You don’t have to go around saying it; instead, you have a quiet love affair with yourself.

I knew that if I didn't work through this, I would find myself stuck in the role of powerless victim of my own life, instead of the extraordinary everyday hero I aspire to be.

If you don't love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.

Portia we can admire because, having seen her leave her Earthly Paradise to do a good deed in this world (one notices, incidentally, that in this world she appears in disguise), we know that she is aware of her wealth as a moral responsibility, but the other inhabitants of Belmont, Bassanio, Gratiano, Lorenzo and Jessica, for all their beauty and charm, appear as frivolous members of a leisure class, whose carefree life is parasitic upon the labors of others, including usurers. When we learn that Jessica has spent fourscore ducats of her father’s money in an evening and bought a monkey with her mother’s ring, we cannot take this as a comic punishment for Shylock’s sin of avarice; her behavior seems rather an example of the opposite sin of conspicuous waste. Then, with the example in our minds of self-sacrificing love as displayed by Antonio, while we can enjoy the verbal felicity of the love duet between Lorenzo and Jessica, we cannot help noticing that the pairs of lovers they recall, Troilus and Cressida, Aeneas and Dido, Jason and Medea, are none of them examples of self-sacrifice or fidelity. […] Belmont would like to believe that men and women are either good or bad by nature, but Antonio and Shylock remind us that this is an illusion; in the real world, no hatred is totally without justification, no love totally innocent.

The perfect life, the perfect lie … is one which prevents you from doing that which you would ideally have done (painted, say, or written unpublishable poetry) but which, in fact, you have no wish to do. People need to feel that they have been thwarted by circumstances from pursuing the life which, had they led it, they would not have wanted; whereas the life they really want is precisely a compound of all those thwarting circumstances. It is a very elaborate, extremely simple procedure, arranging this web of self-deceit: contriving to convince yourself that you were prevented from doing what you wanted. Most people don’t want what they want: people want to be prevented, restricted. The hamster not only loves his cage, he’d be lost without it. That’s why children are so convenient: you have children because you’re struggling to get by as an artist—which is actually what being an artist means—or failing to get on with your career. Then you can persuade yourself that your children prevented you from having this career that had never looked like working out. So it goes on: things are always forsaken in the name of an obligation to someone else, never as a failing, a falling short of yourself.

Empaths have very attractive spirits, and so people are naturally drawn to them without understanding why. They will find that complete strangers feel comfortable talking to them about the most intimate subjects and experiences. Another reason why empaths are so magnetic is that they are very good listeners; they are bubbly, outgoing, enthusiastic and people love to be in their presence. They are the life and soul of any party, and people like to have them around because they feed off their energy. Due to the extreme nature of their personality, the opposite is also true; their moods can switch in an instant and people will scatter like cockroaches to get away from them. If an empath doesn’t understand their gift, the burden of carrying so many emotions can be overwhelming. They don’t understand that they are feeling someone else’s emotions; it is confusing to them. One moment they are fine and the next they are feeling a tsunami of depression, which causes them to act out.

The “Power of “No”... The power of no has Abraham saying “No she’s not my wife, but my sister!” The power of no has Noah saying “no I don’t want water but strong drink.” The power of no has Samson giving up his secret, Jonah being fish food and Peter denying “The Christ” three times before the cock would crow! No can be abused or used for good… It can be directed by a Righteous and Holy God or be... used to tear down and offend. It can say “they are too big, we can’t cross and posses the land” and have you wandering for forty years! No can stop the advancement of a lover and say no to sin or also kill motivation that the Holy Spirit is trying to direct. Today remember… “Give a person power and you will learn their true nature.” Use “No” with love, discernment and compassion, but us it with force when needed but not for self glory or with arrogance. “Know when to say No!

We have trained ourselves to be fearful and anxious when presented with problems. If we choose, we can retrain ourselves to be calm and to allow God to express God’s self in us once again. As I discussed in chapter one, problems begin, unequivocally, in our minds. We may have to remind ourselves that our mind is where the problem exists, nowhere else. Thus the “illusion” which I mentioned earlier. Correct the error, and the illusion disappears. Our conditioning has led us to the error of thinking of ourselves in terms of finite beings. James Carse, in his book Finite and Infinite Games, describes a world of finite games in which winners and losers, rules, boundaries, and time are all extremely important. In the world of finite games, titles, acquisitions, and prestige are of paramount significance. Planning, strategy, and secrecy are all crucial. To become a master player in the world of finite games you have an audience who knows the rules and who will grant you a reputation. Being identified with losers in the finite game is frightening and dangerous. The finite game values bodies, things, and reputations. The ultimate loss is death. In his book, Carse explains that the final result of the finite game is self-annihilation because the machines that we invent to assist us in this finite game of winners and losers will destroy those who rely upon them. Technology, marketing, productivity are all terms to encourage players to buy more machines and one’s worth is dependent on how many machines players have and how well they operate them. There is also the infinite game, which you can begin to play if you so choose. In this game there are no boundaries; the forces are infinite that allow the flowers to grow and those forces cannot be tamed or controlled. The purpose of the infinite game is to get more people to play, to laugh, love, dance and sing. Life itself is infinitely non-understandable. These forces were here before we were and will continue beyond the boundaries of death and time. While the finite player must debate and learn the language/rules to operate all the machines, the infinite player speaks from the heart and knows that answers are beyond words and explanations. This is not to imply that players of the infinite game cannot also play finite games, it’s just that they don’t know how to take the finite games seriously. This is a choice.

Carrying body and soul and embracing the one, can you avoid separation? Can you let your body become as supple as a newborn child’s? In the opening and shutting of heaven’s gate, can you play the feminine part? Can you love your people and govern your domain without self-importance? Giving birth and nourishing; having, yet not possessing; working, yet not taking credit; leading without controlling or dominating. One who heeds this power brings the Tao to this very earth. This is the primal virtue.

That’s ridiculous. Focusing on one person who doesn’t like what you say makes their opinion count more than your own self-worth. Remember, what others think of you is none of your business! Self-worth comes from the belief that I have integrity, I am valuable, I am attractive, I am important. You don’t have to go around saying it; instead, you have a quiet love affair with yourself. This is something you can teach your kids as well.

Set aside multiple times during your day to stop and ask yourself this key question: Right now in what I am about to say or do, do my desires stem from my lower or my higher self? The ego is all about self-serving, ownership, winning, judging, and so on. The higher self is about serving, loving, and being in a nonjudgmental state of peace.

When you re at peace with yourself and love your self, it is virtually impossible to do things to yourself that are destructive.

You may have a social disease, one that will not go away with a simple injection. You are quite possibly infected with the sepsis of low-esteem, and the only known cure is a massive dose of self-love.

Eliminate jealousy by recognizing it is a put-down of yourself. By comparing yourself to some other person and imagining you are loved less, you make others more important than you. You are measuring your own merit in comparison to another. Remind yourself that (1) Someone can always choose another without having it be a reflection on you, and (2) whether or not you are chosen by any significant other is not the way you validate your own self-worth.

John Dryden called jealousy “the jaundice of the soul.” If your jealousy gets in your way, and creates any amount of emotional immobility, then you can set as a goal the elimination of this wasteful thinking. Jealousy is really a demand that someone love you in a certain way, and you saying “It isn’t fair” when they don’t. It comes from a lack of self-confidence, simply because it is an other-directed activity. It allows their behavior to be the cause of your emotional discomfort. People who really like themselves don’t choose jealousy or allow themselves to be distraught when someone else doesn’t play fair. You can never predict how someone you love will react to another human being, but if they choose to be affectionate or loving you can only experience the immobility of jealousy if you see their decisions as having anything to do with you. That is your choice. If a partner loves another, he isn’t being “unfair,” he is simply being.

With two self-reliant people, who care enough about each other to foster independence rather than dependence, but at the same time share happiness with a loved person, marriage can be an exciting prospect. But, when two people try to merge into oneness, or one tries to dominate the other in any way, that spark that is within us all fights for one of the greatest human needs, independence.

When someone else has more privileges, they see that as a benefit to that person, rather than as a reason for being unhappy. When playing an opponent they want him to do well, rather than wishing a poor performance in order to win by default. They want to be victorious and effective on their own, rather than gaining through the shortcomings of others. They do not insist that everyone be equally endowed, but look inward for their happiness. They are not critics, nor do they take pleasure in other people’s misfortunes. They are too busy being, to notice what their neighbors are doing. Most significantly, these are individuals who love themselves. They are motivated by a desire to grow, and they always treat themselves well when given the option. They have no room for self-pity, self-rejection, or self-hate.

Most people don't want what they want: people love to be prevented, restricted. The hamster not only loves his cage, he'd be lost without it.